halfway go soft how?

[czhsg]

ok bros, would appreciate some advice from those who ever been in my situation. I have been having sex with my gf for a year. Ever since i started dating her from day one, I have abstain from sex at GL through sheer willpower. After a few months, I waver a bit and went for the occasional hj or bj with cap, but never the full package.

So the sex with gf was good. But now suddenly i find halfway during sex my penis go soft. This happen 3 times already. Worried that its erectile dysfunction, i got a bit disturbed. I am only in my twenties. I don't smoke, but i drink every night, 2 or 3 cans of beer. I have a relatively healty lifestyle with exercise, except for the drinking part. But I don't drink before sex or during the day.

Reading from other thread, I suspect my problem is psychological. Coz after 1 year plus never go GL, I was finally so worried that recently I went to GL150 and China street side FL to testing 2 times see if got problem not. I found my performance comparable to last time active days leh. Only with gf halfway go soft.

I notice that my overall sex drive drop a bit, and I like lose interest with sex wth gf. I dunno is it do too long with same person, or is it because I just start working not long, things not stable so I get too stressed. I don't understand why I cannot hold my interest in sex with gf despite her being attractive to me.

My purpose for opening this thread is to find out from fellow bro, if u have this type of problem before and its psychological, how did you solve the problem. Did it go away on its own? Any tips can share? I am prepared to see doctor but i suspect psychological problem he may not see things from the same perspective as those of us who chiong GL before. Appreciate advice from mature forummers.

Lastly, salesmen in forum, please don't pm me sales items. I would like to hear experience of bros here only, on how they overcome this problem of lose interest halfway during sex or if the problem just went away on its own after some time. No sales items please. thanks.

[aO3Dre]

Try adding some spice to your sex life.
Those usual men/women magazines usually encourage some sort of cosplay, or even outdoors...

[Xgenre]

If I were in your position, I will go buy a vibrating cock ring. I will not post any links here because I'm not a salesman. Not affliated to any shop. I'm no doctor too so please do read my ideas with a pinch of salt. Let me explain why wearing a cock ring is worth exploring.

Firstly, the vibrating cock ring is worn at the base of your cock after your cock is hard. The simple idea is that it prevents blood from flowing out of your cock. You will thus remain hard. The cock ring isn't so tight that you can't cum and shoot sperm. You can still function normally.

Secondly, the vibrating cock ring does bring about an erotic feel with the buzzing. Helps you pleasure your gf more when the vibrating part hits her clitoris. Helps you find a good reason why you are wearing the cock ring.

3rdly, I do remember reading about using cock ring as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. Patients use a pump to draw blood into their penis and make it hard. Then wear a cock ring to prevent the blood from flowing out of the penis.

If you need to buy a cock ring, go google sex shops or my thread http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/99090-discreet-sex-toy-shops.html A lot of bros added their views there.

[oubboss]

Get ur mind off other things and imagine u bonking angelina jolin . Sure cum :D

[rohan]

ok bros, would appreciate some advice from those who ever been in my situation. I have been having sex with my gf for a year. Ever since i started dating her from day one, I have abstain from sex at GL through sheer willpower. After a few months, I waver a bit and went for the occasional hj or bj................................................ ...................


Bro C, you 'started' without any prob. things happen only lately, could it be stress or work? try to loosen up.

[epidurals]

If I were in your position, I will go buy a vibrating cock ring. I will not post any links here because I'm not a salesman. Not affliated to any shop. I'm no doctor too so please do read my ideas with a pinch of salt. Let me explain why wearing a cock ring is worth exploring.

Firstly, the vibrating cock ring is worn at the base of your cock after your cock is hard. The simple idea is that it prevents blood from flowing out of your cock. You will thus remain hard. The cock ring isn't so tight that you can't cum and shoot sperm. You can still function normally.

Secondly, the vibrating cock ring does bring about an erotic feel with the buzzing. Helps you pleasure your gf more when the vibrating part hits her clitoris. Helps you find a good reason why you are wearing the cock ring.

3rdly, I do remember reading about using cock ring as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. Patients use a pump to draw blood into their penis and make it hard. Then wear a cock ring to prevent the blood from flowing out of the penis.

If you need to buy a cock ring, go google sex shops or my thread http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/99090-discreet-sex-toy-shops.html A lot of bros added their views there.

bro, i've tried the vibrating c.ring. have to admit it does help. but after a few tries all it did was to numb my cock after a few mins.

surprisingly. i realise that once i go soft i change to fingering my gf. automatically her moaning would help me recharge at a faster rate. depends what turns you own personally la. find out whether its something visual, physical or for me it was something aural.

whatever it is, big part is your mental state. if you find yourself zoning out midway through... try to get yourself to focus before each session? getting into the mood helps, but dont over do it man.

good luck and keep us updated

[fresno99]

bro
could be becos ur gf is inexperienced in sex, and did not stimulate you enough whereas the paid FLs know how to stimulate you. Maybe go find a XXX movie and watch it together with gf, then while watching, do some touchy feely and frenching to build up the stimulation. I am sure halfway through you will be rock hard and wanna cum.

[angrybigpenis]

Well, if she is still in the mood, ask her to NJ you till you are hard again...or do a strip tease....or something.

Could it be physiological instead of psychological? Were you stressed out at work? Tired after some exercise? Lack of stamina?

Drink plenty of water, eat fruits and rest. Just enjoy the moment.....if didi go soft again, pleasure her....at least one of you should have an orgasm.....finger or lick her to cum heaven. She might just give you the BJ of your life or allow you a 'backdoor' pass. ;)

[czhsg]

hmm... fresno9p I think you are spot on. I recall that at first when I restricted myself to having just gf, I was sian 1/2 by her inexperience. But she's improved in some ways now. Guess I shouldn't ask for too much.

angrypbigpenis, thanks for the suggestion, gf has been putting more attention into dressing. She happens to be the goody 2 shoes conservative type, so getting kinky will likely make her uncomfortable. I'm a lucky bastard :) but it works both ways.

Gee... its tough that something pleasurable should need effort to focus on. ohhh.. the good ol GL150 days... Guess i gotta try to focus on the sex this weekend.

[seansean83]

Hey bro what happen to me is totally the opposite

Having sex with my gf is ok,recently i decided to try others fl.My first time trying and i can't get it to stand.I tried 4 times already,even if i can stand,when the girl is wearing condom for me ,i will become small.I was so pai seh.Very disapointed with myself

The same night i tried having sex with my gf and its ok.Dun know whats wrong with me.Wasted of money on the fl.Never had a chance to bang them
.

[crowleyking]

many things are psychological in nature

one must learn to relax and not think too much. Dont be overly concerned about performances.

hope this helps

[peanut123]

many things are psychological in nature

one must learn to relax and not think too much. Dont be overly concerned about performances.

hope this helps

Yes, I agree with bro crowleyking. I think its psycohlogical. Sometimes, I feel damn horny. But after spend some time walking up and down looking for girl, feeling hot and tired, and the girl not very good service, I sian zipuah and dick go soft very fast.

After rubba rubba and BJ, it gets hard again. But within a couple of minutes if no stimulation or FJ dun feel so good ( maybe pussy too dry or pussy too loose ), become soft again. Damn, have to ask for HJ then.

Sometimes i wonder if got anything wrong with me, but actually, a few days later go find a friendly, pretty girl with good service, huah, hard as a rock and can bonk well again. So, all in the mind lar.

[czhsg]

ok.. knowing that others go through the same problems make me feel normal. Guess I'll just have to take it easy and wait and see. Since there's nothing wrong with me it should be fine on its own in future (i hope)

[rs07]

i agreed with peanut123. initially while at home, feel damn horny and when travel to geylang and recce girls there, its not so horny and its soft, but maybe after get a girl, inside the room and the girl stimulate u, then u have the feeling again. I just back from angeles city. that place is hot and cheap

[rh8611]

looking forward to more professional reply from bros here.. might try vibration ring..

[kwaychup]

Hi TS
I think its psychological and some other factors.
i do have the same problems as you at times as well and my drive is also going downhill.
also i think it has to do with stress as well.
i dun really workout alot due to my work nature.
so i'm going to try to do some exercise and see if it helps cos i conclude abit that when my legs go tired, i tend to soften easily.
also how the girl "services" you does affect as well.

i remember that once i went thailand got a packet of durex performa
when doing with the girl 1/2way my bro decide to go sleep. so the ger took out the cd and bbbj for me (i know i shouldn't let her)
she bbbj me for less than 10 secs, she went to the toilet and wash her mouth, as the spermicide on the cd had burn her lips.
afterwards she use a cd which she has took from her doctor and tried on me.
and all went well.
+ i managed to bonk her twice in 1/2hr span!! :D

so i conclude these to be the factors.

1. psychological
2. stress
3. girl service
4. correct type of CD used

[edgar18]

Dear TS,

Years ago I had a GF who is a bit mentally off (not normal, very very smart). And her way of getting back at her parents was to do F... every other guys
that came along before me. And she is quite pretty too. But little did I know
much of her (psychotic) mental history and i went on with her about 6 months.

And within these 6 months, was an ordeal i could never forget.
She loved me very much
and she would want it everyday. This could sound unbelievable, but it was
everyday. It was heaven!! But!!! about 4 months just like you I thought how can doing it halfway and my manhood
just went soft. Was worried and fearing that I couldnt satisfy her, i got even more stressed
making our relationship more sore.

Years later, I found a new GF whom I love till today although shes not
mine anymore. She not damn pretty, and shes short but every time when we together, I could do at least 2 times
with half hr interval ( I old already so very hard to twice nowadays).
Thats when I realised , if you love that person, just like me, you could get it up anytime just for her.

Ask yourself , how do you feel about her. Find that something in her that
catches you. It could be physically or something that turns you on.
Then hold on to that. Guess its just mental. Don't get stressed.

Do what you have to do, theres nothing wrong with you.

cheers

[Xgenre]

Years later, I found a new GF whom I love till today although shes not mine anymore. She not damn pretty, and shes short but every time when we together, I could do at least 2 times with half hr interval ( I old already so very hard to twice nowadays). Thats when I realised , if you love that person, just like me, you could get it up anytime just for her.

Ask yourself , how do you feel about her. Find that something in her that
catches you. It could be physically or something that turns you on.
Then hold on to that. Guess its just mental. Don't get stressed.

I think your advice will make TS more panicky and guilty. If he really loves the girl and can't maintain an erection, how? He will wonder if he really loves the girl after reading your post. It may not be just mental.

TS, what's your height and weight? Any underlying health issues? Diabetic? Why not go visit a doctor to eliminate all medical possiblities? The type of doctor you should see is an urologist, not just a normal GP.

[iamweak]

This is so familiar...
i lost money due to this too.. for 3 consecutive times...
:(
hence my nick...

Hey bro what happen to me is totally the opposite

Having sex with my gf is ok,recently i decided to try others fl.My first time trying and i can't get it to stand.I tried 4 times already,even if i can stand,when the girl is wearing condom for me ,i will become small.I was so pai seh.Very disapointed with myself

The same night i tried having sex with my gf and its ok.Dun know whats wrong with me.Wasted of money on the fl.Never had a chance to bang them
.

[czhsg]

Hi Kway Chup, thanks for your input. I consider your 4 points, and I rule out stress and CD used. Reason is coz under stress and with CD I could still manage normal performance at GL150 as I mentioned earlier. I determined it to be psychological. And your other point, girl service, I think you are correct. She usually wear jeans, not a dress to begin with. My gf dunno how to seduce me; I have mention she is goody 2 shoes previously.

Hi Edgar and Xgenre, what I feel about this girl is that she is the right one for me. We have good communication skills, good enough to talk about my this problem openly, and I let her know just now about my lack of sex interest in her, that my problem is psychological. All this while long I was very careful to not her feel insecure, coz thats the last thing i need. But still if we want to solve this prob I gotta let her know the underlying issue is I can't see as a sex object. Still waiting to see tmr the impact how. But we basically had everything right, which help explain why i manage to stay off GL for 1 year plus.

My height weight etc i rule out. Coz as mention I went GL150 to testing, performance normal. I still deem it psychological.

TQ all bros for your overwhwelming support. I was very surprised to see so many helpful suggestion come in. Please pardon me if i say anything wrong. Just now 4th time it went soft halfway.. Now drinking and sian.... Next week GL150 again i suppose.... :D At least there I feel like a man, even if its 45min. I will be OK!

[peanut123]

Now drinking and sian.... Next week GL150 again i suppose.... :D At least there I feel like a man, even if its 45min. I will be OK!

Bro, if I could give you 1 more piece of advice, it would be : if you have a gf you love, and you feel that things are "basically right" for you both, and you really want to solve your problem with her, then stop going GL.

Serious. Imagine the damage that would do to your relationship if she finds out. And I don't see how banging a WL and "feeling like a man" does anything except to feed your ego.

Cheonging is fun, but its also damaging to your relationship, not to mention it puts her health at risk if you should catch a STD from a BBBJ. How are you going to explain to her you gave her herpes, warts, pubic lice, or even worse, HIV ???

Focus on solving your problem, not escaping into the bosom of a WL. My 2 cents.

[czhsg]

Thanks for reminding me of what I must do, Penut. I've switched into "No Go" mode for GL again. Will be focusing on solving my problem, whatever that means, since I haven't figured out how to solve it.

It isn't so much the ego thats difficult to check; i'm sure you and I know its the lust thats challenging.

Beyond that, I'm also looking at the long term repurcussions a sexually dysfunctional marriage might bring, even if everything else in the relationship goes right. Assuming she does not stray, that she stays faithful, any mature bros can suggest probable outcomes? I'm thinking of coping with my problem in the long haul. The gf gets her kick quickly while I stay hard, so i must say she's more satisfied than I am. That, plus the fact that I satisfy her in other areas except excellent sex, makes her less likely to stray.

Firstly, no go for GL, second, maybe see doctor. Then.. I wondering what's next already. Appreciate all suggestions thus far. Now, I must find solace at the bottom of my bottle, for tmr I will continue this fight.

[czhsg]

2 hours later... which will be my truthful post while drunk.

Lets put it this way. She's more worried I stray than I worried she stray. She cried on the phone just now; she's worried I stray. She's under stress; i'm also frustrated with my uncooperative penis. Its an unhealthy situation for a marriage. I want to propose to her because I am serious about her, but how am I suppose to propose with confidence when... it can't stand? F*** this situation, tmr I will fight. For now I sleep.

[Toto king]

its psychological i think. i forgot the medical term liao, bt it may have to do with ur anxiety to perform for your gf. You can try fiingering or petting to satisfy her first b4 actually having the intercourse, like that you wont feel so pressured to perform liao

[leetona]

Hi There...just like what i used to be... but now its okay..

[oubboss]

Maybe u have too much on ur mind . Relax abit and think only on the sex part . Dun have too much stress and you can perform liaoz .

Else see a counselor for ur problem . It's psychophysical .

[Snuber]

I suppose you are concentrating too much on your performance. It's just like the more u wanna cum, the more effort it doesn't! :p

Just pay more attention to both of your feelings and sensations during the act............ the rest will just come naturally.

[czhsg]

Ok. thanks for the input guys. It confirms what I thought I had to do and cleared some of my doubts. Good to hear that some of u had such a problem and it went away on its own after a while. Guess I'll wait and see how, maybe see a counsellor reccomended by gynaecologist. From now till then i'll just give my gf emotional support and show her the love and attention she needs. U all know lah, women in such a situation would be insecure and frustrated too. Thanks again all.

[peanut123]

Good to hear that. All the best. I hope the next time I see a post from you is to announce you are having great sex with your wife-to-be and you are retiring from the cheonging scene.

I wish I had a girl who loves me as much as your girl loves you. All the best !


Ok. thanks for the input guys. It confirms what I thought I had to do and cleared some of my doubts. Good to hear that some of u had such a problem and it went away on its own after a while. Guess I'll wait and see how, maybe see a counsellor reccomended by gynaecologist. From now till then i'll just give my gf emotional support and show her the love and attention she needs. U all know lah, women in such a situation would be insecure and frustrated too. Thanks again all.

[wahahaha1234]

hi TS,

ever experience that a few time with my gf
feeling was terrible and it make me feel so small infront of my gf
no matter wat she did, bj or hj...it just wont stand...leaving her hanging there and me feeling shitty

but i did some research, i duno if its reliable not....but do a search on Wikipedia on some of the possible reasons...


ill pm u the link in private
cheers

[Jimmy69]

should try this generic Cialis - is called SCIFIL soft tablet (tadalafil 20mg)

Pm for detail.:rolleyes:

[james38]

ok bros, would appreciate some advice from those who ever been in my situation. I have been having sex with my gf for a year. Ever since i started dating her from day one, I have abstain from sex at GL through sheer willpower. After a few months, I waver a bit and went for the occasional hj or bj with cap, but never the full package.

So the sex with gf was good. But now suddenly i find halfway during sex my penis go soft. This happen 3 times already. Worried that its erectile dysfunction, i got a bit disturbed. I am only in my twenties. I don't smoke, but i drink every night, 2 or 3 cans of beer. I have a relatively healty lifestyle with exercise, except for the drinking part. But I don't drink before sex or during the day.

Reading from other thread, I suspect my problem is psychological. Coz after 1 year plus never go GL, I was finally so worried that recently I went to GL150 and China street side FL to testing 2 times see if got problem not. I found my performance comparable to last time active days leh. Only with gf halfway go soft.

I notice that my overall sex drive drop a bit, and I like lose interest with sex wth gf. I dunno is it do too long with same person, or is it because I just start working not long, things not stable so I get too stressed. I don't understand why I cannot hold my interest in sex with gf despite her being attractive to me.

My purpose for opening this thread is to find out from fellow bro, if u have this type of problem before and its psychological, how did you solve the problem. Did it go away on its own? Any tips can share? I am prepared to see doctor but i suspect psychological problem he may not see things from the same perspective as those of us who chiong GL before. Appreciate advice from mature forummers.

Lastly, salesmen in forum, please don't pm me sales items. I would like to hear experience of bros here only, on how they overcome this problem of lose interest halfway during sex or if the problem just went away on its own after some time. No sales items please. thanks.
hi czhsg,
Forget about vibration ring. I have 39 years old and my erection problem was a lot times worse than yours. I took cialis for more than 2 years each time i had sex with my gf. Phychology is important but s not 100 percent to be blamed for the problem. Phychology is 50 percent and the other 50 percent is your body, i.e. your kidney, liver, etc.
Few months ago, i went to see a chinese physician at geylang rd, he told me got to visit him once every fortnightly for minimum 3 months. After 3 visits (one and a half month of chinese medicine), i stopped seeing him cos suspecting the medicine is not working. Somemore each visit at least one hundred plus.
A few weeks after my last visit, seems like my cock is alive again. No kidding, guess that the chinese medicine take some time to take effect. If u want to address of the chinese doctor.. pm me. Remember to give me some points if it works for u.
Another advice, stay away from beer and other cooling stuffs and go jogging. Jogging helps. No kidding.
Thank you very much.

Rgds,

James