Is it normal for a married man to demand exclusivity?

[LoveAngel]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

[Sexy Under]

*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

How can the married man be exclusive? His wife how? Eat herself meh?

For the girl, move on and there will be high morale, higher values, highest honor without any wanton! :D

[liberatte]

I think if there is a man like so, then he's a dumb man IMHO. For a person that eats outside, not only he does not know how to wipe his mouth, but he wants to keep his outside food overnight... I would personally just take a bite, chew for a while and spit it out... of course wipe my mouth...

Also, it takes 2 hands to clap.... does she allow him to do that?

[newbieboy]

it's right if both of them think it's right, but it's wrong if either one thinks it's wrong. why you bother what other people think?

[hommedoux]

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

This is called having a cake and wanting to eat all by himself. In the end, he will get choked. He can't be termed as exclusive to the girl unless he doesn't sleep with his wife anymore. Even if he tells the girl he doesn't, how can she be sure?

What can he gives this girl in return?

~ Boy/girl relationship? He's married.
~ Material gains? Is this what the girl wanted? If so, then why the questions in the first place.

[imaginative]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Qn 1:
It's 'normal' for the married man to have such expectation.

It's 'not fair' to the girlfriend because the gf does not have exclusivity on the man (sharing with the man with his wife)

There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable.

Qn 2:
Non-exclusivity - meaning the girl will be dating another guy at the same time? I think it's not about moral value. It merely means the gifl has a clear mind, and probably smart brain, to keep options open for herself.

Just my two cents worth.

[Absolute]

There are so many good, single and available men out there sincerely seeking love with view for a long term relationship leading to marriage. Such men may not be as interesting or better looking or richer than your married-man boyfriend but at least they provide you with lesser heartbreak and more security.

In short, if you think you are wanton (as you said it yourself), the you really deserve it.

No offence but I am just being honest.

[Reoxy]

Being possessive in a relationship is a trait common to both sexes. However, it is not a definitive show of love. It is simply human nature.

It is never adviseable for a single/ married man/ woman to be DEEPLY involved with a/ another married woman/ man unless a new communion can be established from this relationship. This is even more so if there are children involved.

If a married party is a able to break the existing marriage even though there has been no infidelity or serious problems, said party is not a reliable partner.

It is all about commitment and responsibility.

It is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong, only is it worth it or not.

[LoveAngel]

How can the married man be exclusive? His wife how? Eat herself meh?

Exclusive to each other other than spouse i guess .... means not seeing or going out with other people??

Also, it takes 2 hands to clap.... does she allow him to do that?

She doesn't ... but hard to walk out of it .....

it's right if both of them think it's right, but it's wrong if either one thinks it's wrong. why you bother what other people think?

Yeah, I think you said it right .... but that's where the problem is I guess.

...... Such men may not be as interesting or better looking or richer than your married-man boyfriend but at least they provide you with lesser heartbreak and more security.

In short, if you think you are wanton (as you said it yourself), the you really deserve it. No offence but I am just being honest.

Not me lah ..... so no worries ... no offence .... :)

[SamDucky]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?
Well Well! I'm in such a case... I guess it depends on the character. I'm a possessive person, so in all senses, I would like exclusivity, particularly in this case where health and cleanliness is concerned as well. There is an element of emotional attachment as well , not just to the wife but to the gf as well. Rightfully mentioned earlier as well that there's no right or wrong... we all only live once... just make the best out of it and if there's some emotional distress about it... it's just a matter of perception... just change another view ... perhaps you'll feel different about this

[Painter1118]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

I got this kind of feeling when I two-timed. :p

[LoveAngel]

This is called having a cake and wanting to eat all by himself. In the end, he will get choked. He can't be termed as exclusive to the girl unless he doesn't sleep with his wife anymore. Even if he tells the girl he doesn't, how can she be sure?

What can he gives this girl in return?
~ Boy/girl relationship? He's married.
~ Material gains? Is this what the girl wanted? If so, then why the questions in the first place.

Hommedoux,
You said it! Does most (if not all) married men all wanna have their cake & eat it too???

What he can offer the girl?
- The comfort of having someone by your side who's your soul mate?
- Who can fulfill your emotional or intellectual or sexual needs?

Qn 1:It's 'normal' for the married man to have such expectation.

It's 'not fair' to the girlfriend because the gf does not have exclusivity on the man (sharing with the man with his wife)

There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable.

Qn 2:
Non-exclusivity - meaning the girl will be dating another guy at the same time? I think it's not about moral value. It merely means the gifl has a clear mind, and probably smart brain, to keep options open for herself. .

Does a married man have a right to demand the girl (be it single or married) to remain exclusive to him (other than to their own spouses)???

I guess it's ok if he's "keeping" her & providing to her daily necessities aka mistress ... but if it's not .... hmm ... not normal, not right, not fair isn't it ....

Yes, I agree ... and I finally understand .... "There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable" ...

[LoveAngel]

It is all about commitment and responsibility.

It is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong, only is it worth it or not.

Reoxy dear,
Guessed you sum it all up nicely ....
At the end of the day, it's all about how much commitment & how much responsibility you wanna accord to each other.

Whatever that's agreed upon or not agreed upon, it's all personal choice.
Other than no right and no wrong, the key question is ...... is it worth it?

[pussluver]

I have many flings previously and is currently having one as well, of course, having wife at home all this while.

yes, sometimes the exclusivity tends to want to come in, but think for urself, what can u offer the outside party?

Nothing! unless u wanna divorce ur wife and remarries the woman.

so, u cannot officially ask her for exclusivity. Remember, she has her own life to live as well, and if she wants a fling, just go for it and clean break off after that.

COntrol ur emotions..... never fall totally in love with her..... if not, u be digging ur own grave :)

Remember, alimony is tough.

[imaginative]

Reoxy dear,
Other than no right and no wrong, the key question is ...... is it worth it?

It's not worth your killing lots of your brain cells to think about this question.

most pple do what makes them "feel good".

Just like eating fast food - scientifically proven to be unhealthy and therefore concluded as "not worth it"- but pple still eat! because it makes them "feel good".

Back to relationship problem - it's about emotion and mental connection - no way to prove whether "worth it"or "not worth it".

Life is short, if you can be with someone you truly love for just a month - is it worth the effort?

This type of discussion is never ending...

[sg_boytoy]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Can I respond...

It is normal, it is unfair and never right.

No, no and no.

Is there a lucky draw or incentive for completing the survey :confused:

[hommedoux]

At the end of the day, it's all about how much commitment & how much responsibility you wanna accord to each other.

Whatever that's agreed upon or not agreed upon, it's all personal choice.
Other than no right and no wrong, the key question is ...... is it worth it?

The commitment and responsibility here should accord to one's spouse. How can one talk about this when one already has a wife/husband? Anyone who is married and still speak of this to someone is only sugar coating unless he/she is ready to leave his/her family for that person.

[Digistras80]

Hi LoveAngel,

Please allow my 2 cents worth.

Since you have mentioned that both of you know there would not be a good or happy ending to the relationship, if both party are prepared to make each other exclusive and both are also able to keep up with the exclusive demands, then I guess this "exclusiveness" should last very long even if there is no end.

However, if the "demand for exclusive" is causing stress, disturbance or even restrictions either parties normal daily life, then there a danger of over-demand due to either party not being able to keep up with the demand required. This might result in a negative situation and outcome for both parties and when this happens, is time to slow things down and do a review.

Hope this helps.

P.S Sorry if i sound too "bored". I just couldn't find a better way to say it. :confused:

[tan-tan]

Human beings are born selfish.

Who doesn't want to have the best of both worlds? Time will unveil all the dirty linens. Exclusivity in this context makes me laugh. Today, he demands exclusivity. You never know what he will demand next. Maybe something like "Go find yourself another man. I am now exclusive to my new girlfriend" :D

[arsenal_84]

there is no such thing as best of both worlds unless the rs is an "open rs" where both partners are free to go out hunting...
any wife who choses to close both eyes or one eye will eventually succumb to the temptation of straying as well.

[Jaguar99]

Bro Loveangel, in short, it very much depends on what is the exclusive package ($$$$) u can offer to have the exclusivity. They don't come here for relationship, they are here to make a living. Love mat develop afterwhich, and there is no ending discussion on this subject (as what the other bros said....)

[whizzard]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

It is fairly normal in any relationship to expect exclusivity. It is not right nor fair in the relationship you mentioned. However, the relationship was not right nor fair in the first place.

Having said that, is love a logical and rational relationship? No, when you fall in love, its not logical nor rational. Hence, a lover can be anyone, married or otherwise.

Unfortunately, your lover cannot offer you an exclusive relationship. Do you still love him? If so, that's the basis the relationship will have to move on.

Is it right or wrong? Only you can answer it. I don't think it is wrong to fall in love. In our laws, we are supposed to be monogamous, unless you are a Muslim. Taking law and religion aside, is it wrong for both individuals to fall in love? My answer is no but, these gwo individuals need to work out the issues amidst their constraints.

At the end of the day, there may not be a clear light at the end of the tunnel for you but, do all love relationships between singles end in marriages? Even if they end up in marriages, who is to say whether they end up in divorces? Hence, enjoy the journey for what it is today for we can never foretell where we are destined to end up.

[climaxguy]

How can the married man be exclusive? His wife how? Eat herself meh?

For the girl, move on and there will be high morale, higher values, highest honor without any wanton! :D

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

most married man has a gf outside will be like that and its just depend on both if the gal is ok for his demand like this then will be ok too as a gal will having a lot of pressure and unhappy some of the time if he choose together with a married man...

[starystarynite]

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Depends. If the man n the girl is of FB relationship, then I dun think thete is any exclusivity. If they are bf/gf relationship, then thete is some love involved.n the man should have commit to the girl upfront. Wat are the returns. Monetary or he is going to divorce his wife soon. If nothing happens, I dun think is fair for the girl to wait n thus no issue for her to get involved with anothet relationship.

[siangsiang]

bastard.....

[ConsensualLust]

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?


Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

First to answer why EXCLUSIVITY - Can do RAW ! No STD risk ! sense of owning ! Ego induced selfishness !

Assuming "GF" is single . The ball in the "GF" court , whether her choice to stay faithfully exclusive to the "Married" man. But the reality of FUTURE will set in sooner or later .

Assuming "GF" is married . What right has the "Married" man who has a wife demand of exclusiveness of a "Married" woman who has a husband . Being a "MARRIED" man , he can only ASK for exclusiveness of his mistress or FB . But it depends on the "GF" whether she chooses to or not .

To sum it up ! It takes two to tango !




And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?