I am addicted to a FL!

[larue]

Damned fucking right I am, and I never ever thought it could possibly happen to me. I always thought I was capable of regarding them as nothing more than casual and transient service providers.

Barely 2 years ago, my best buddy and I were talking over beer, and he was contemplating an affair. And my advice was don't, leave that to people who love to invite trouble to their doorstep.

But alas, I find I am unable to practise what I preach. Family life has gone south so much over the years, the pressures of home, real and imagined piled up over time. What was once acceptable, perhaps even cute or at worst tolerable has over time become unacceptable, and eventually unbearable. The arrival of a child expedited that process. Everyday I want to scream but cannot.

I thought I would write a parallel thread on the issues I have at home, but decided that my individual circumstances are ... too unique and specific, that anyone who possibly even knew me, would know this was me. Not good of course. So that's a no go.

Top be fair though, having an 'affair' with a working girl is much safer than having one with a colleague or something. I adore this FL, and she adores my dough. If the dough flows, the love comes. And if it stops, so does the love. At least there'll be no banging on my door demanding I divorce my wife (although that is my long term plan).

Any way, I first contacted this FL 5 months ago. First few times it was all a good bonk, maybe once a week or fortnight or so.

And she would text me sometimes if I hadn't contacted her for too long (lol, too long = 2 weeks maybe) and tell me she's thinking of me. Actually she's thinking of the fee + generous tip I generally pay for service I like.

For maybe 3 months, we just kept that up. Strictly transactional. I was also bonking the odd other working hoe or so.

Somehow around Feb, things changed. I am not sure how it happened, not why. I am unable to think of anything in particular that could have caused me to feel differently towards her. But I did.

I think now it was probably the culmination of her intense KC-efforts and my own unhappiness at home.

My last bonk (with anyone but her) was another FL in Jan. Around the time I thought I actually liked her, I just didn't feel like doing it with anyone else at all. As for my wife, we haven't had sex for years, nor have I felt any inclination to for just as long. I don't even look at other girls now.

And she knows it, that clever girl. And she keeps me hooked..... How she does to follow when I next update. And what I like about her, and eventually how I think this will all end (badly of course!).

TBC

[karlearl]

Looks like you kenna KC liao.

[jolenekoh]

KC fool again

[eugene_wong]

is she pretty?

[Apocalypse]

u posting story ah?

[HCKing]

self-kc spotted all over the place. nothing much to do with her 'intense kc efforts' :D:rolleyes:

[larue]

She's fugly, seriously. Actually I would rate 7.5/10.

Totally and completely kc'ed already, no escape now.

Hcking: yes, self kc is probably the case, as it always is in these matters. We don't see them every day, so everything about them looks and feels better. But the feeling is so .... Good.

Weekend, at home not convenient to post, now using IP to post. Will continue during working hours.

Btw, she PRC, very important component of story in my case. TBC

[esssinine]

Well its better than being addicted to Cocaine or suchlike drugs .

But she`ll take your life in another manner a guess.

And you wont end up dying ugly like Whitney Houston :p

[owl888]

Let's hope u keep everything transactional, including kc :)

[alan0338]

Btw, she PRC, very important component of story in my case. TBC

pls continue ... :D btw, different nationality got difference meh?? :confused: :D

[goodpartner]

Camp! :D

Classic story but I like how you put it across in a matter-of-fact way.
Juz upz you before it goes negative which will slow down the updates ;)

[fdome]

She's fugly, seriously. Actually I would rate 7.5/10.

Totally and completely kc'ed already, no escape now.



She FL? then share her with as many bros here as possible, and try as many other wls as possible, the u will forget her finally hopefully :D:D

[larue]

Thanks for the upzzz.

A bit more background info: me, 35yrs old, her age unknow lol. Why unknown? Because she has been advertised at various ages ha ha, but she told me she was 28 then (now 29). Strangely, her ID indicates that she is in fact 36??!!

How the fuck does that happen? She doesn't look a day over 30, I can't imagine her being 36, and if she really is, more power to her! Whatever 29, 36. She has more experience in life than most 50 year olds in this country have.

It was maybe 3 months back, when she mentioned to me that a particular day was her birthday. Now that part appears true from the mm/dd on her IC. I just can't figure the year part out.

Hint hint obviously. So okay I say to her let's do something on that day. Later she tells me she's been booked by a client that day, so what about the day before?

Okay, didn't really matter to me that much. So we met up, couple of hours and I gave a cash gift (cash is king, always). 1k to be exact. Ransom to some, pittance to others, but about right for me, all things considered.

Interestingly, I think it was shortly after that that I started to feel more deeply for her. Must have been a case of her being happy at having found another carrot, and working harder on her KC towards me for maximum carrot effect.

Although I cannot say for sure I noticed any particular or noticeable change in her attitude towards me right after. Or maybe she is that skilful. Quite possibly.

Oh, that was the first and last time she didn't make time for me btw.

And also rather integral to the story as well is how much I pay her. I believe I have been averaging about 3k p/m for the past 2 and a half months. I don't just give her 3k pm lump sum or anything, she actually asks for money using various excuses. Doesn't amount to 3k, but I still tip somewhat generously on occasions when we meet without her asking for money thereby coming up to c. 3k. Again, I cannot say whether 3k is a lot or not a lot. Some people I'm sure pay more for less, and others get much more for less.

So make no mistake about it, she is money faced. Exceptionally so. And never disguised, even from the start.

TBC with what she does for me, to me, with me that just draws me in ever deeper. BTW, sex will not be brought up as a part of that, because it really is not very exciting at all. It's just... sex. Any FR in FL dome will be more exciting.

And after that, why nationaility matters so much to me. I feel this matters to me as much as the above.

Any way TBC..

[lfc78]

She's fugly, seriously. Actually I would rate 7.5/10.

Totally and completely kc'ed already, no escape now.

Hcking: yes, self kc is probably the case, as it always is in these matters. We don't see them every day, so everything about them looks and feels better. But the feeling is so .... Good.

Weekend, at home not convenient to post, now using IP to post. Will continue during working hours.

Btw, she PRC, very important component of story in my case. TBC

Bro, at least she is expecting dough from you.. If she is going all out, she might want your bakery later. Too many a times we hear people say that they will not get themself in this situation too. Being Kced or self Kc. Do not underestimate the power of these prc women. I told myself never to get myself in this situation especially when we have wife and kids. I cheong China, CP very frequently and getting a kc feels good as we get something which has already turn very monotonous in our current life with OC. Also a plus point during sex compare to doing it with FL, ktv and sn gals.

I am still concious now, always thinking that my dear wife sleeping besides me everyday. My lovely kids whom I adore to death. They all have done no wrong for my sinful deeds. Haha so end of the day, just pay and move on. But we never know, and I might be speaking too early. :rolleyes:

[eQuipment]

actually, no discrimination to any singer/dancer/FL/WL/escort of whatever nationality la, but sweet talking & smiles is part of their jobscope in order to hit quota for KPI. have screwed quite a handful of china dolls, most of them explain that they need to fulfill some form of agent fee somewhere, or maybe to whichever employer for the levy, in order to sustain their stay in this island.

naturally, they will be looking for "roberts" to shave, the more regular the better, bcos they know that our didi need time to recharge, the older the man, the slower he takes to recharge his ammo. and by rotating the roberts to mobilize, the amount that she need to shave is a small amount, so that the roberts don't feel the pain. and bcos the amount is small, the roberts also don't mind kena shaved. - economy of scale.

so, by giving u silent mob few times a month, she can easily fulfill her KPI, without kena bruised nehneh or abbrassion inside her sacred hole. maybe, she already has a handful of roberts that she play this trick, then every other day, she can spend time with her favorite lover boy also.

conclusion, be a player, don't be a banker.

[justl00king]

Btw, she PRC, very important component of story in my case. TBCUpz you 11, please continue your story.

But bro do take care, I sense red flag soon!

[larue]

eQuipment, know exactly where you're coming from bro. Something I have thought about. I am under no illusions as to her job scope, and the likelihood of her keeping a stable of guys like myself.

justl00king, thanks bro. I am also aware of the red flags. I do keep track of them. First she tested the waters by saying she needed help with her rent one day. Now I pay for her 'rent' every month. :) Not unique, but still skilful.

You all know as well as I do, when one comes under the influence of KC, what is missing is not the ability to break the influence.

As fdome said it, share her, and/or try many other WLs, and will surely in time forget her. In fact, usually sooner rather than later.

But what is truly missing, is the will to break the KC influence.

No amount of advice will work, because while it is happening, it is all so beautiful that victims like myself want to believe that it will never end. Until it eventually is, often not by our own hand.

lfc78, good for you on what seems a great family life. I have a child whom I adore. I also have a wife, which is rather unfortunate. Any way, I will not be publicly sharing details of my family issues.

[larue]

Back to the girl.....

She recently satrted to buy me clothes. So I am sort of like getting a rebate on my expenditure on her in the form of cheap-ish clothes.

She told me a few weeks the clothes I wear make me look older than I should, and she'll get me some when she goes shopping with her girlfriends.

Of course, they do their shopping in the cheaper places, and not shopping malls where locals go to buy stuff. She describes how she sees some ladies outfits that look quite nice in a certain shopping mall, but they cost too much (over $100SGD). Her eyes actually boggled when she said that. Priceless.

So she buys me some stuff, and insists that I wear them the next time. Which I didn't and got a smack on my hand.

The next time I did (If you see a guy changing his clothes in the car in a public car park next time, it might well be me!). And I just love the way she smooths and adjusts out the clothes, and steps back to proudly admire her 'creation' and make some notes on what she should get next time. She has since got me some more clothes, and a belt which I absolutely hate.

But of course, being KC'ed means they can do no wrong, and the belt becomes... nice.

I love the way I am just semi-sleeping in bed while she is next to me, stroking my hair, or my arms, or eye lobes (that is fantastic) while she plays games on her phone, or watches TV silently, or is involved in sms-ing timing arrangements with another client, or probably a mixure of all three.

I love the way she goes to the temple, and gets a 'protection charm' which I must keep inside my pillowcase, which of course I cannot (I married a Catholic, wtf was I thinking. I despise Catholicism, Christianity, Islam or any kind of dogmatic religion which require the suppression of intelligence and logic).

So I keep it in my wallet.

So far, these are the things she does for me which I like. And more, which I may add when I am able express them cogently. Next update will be why I like her based on what she represents, and this is where nationaility gets involved.

BTW, I am writing this semi-journal as much for my own perusal and introspection, as well as for your amusement (if any), comments (enlightening, useful, useless or perhaps outright trashy).

TBC.

[esssinine]

brother you are a goner :rolleyes:

in hokien they say see liao

[MannyCalavera]

The FL is really quite good sia... If it were me I also kena...

[lfc78]

eQuipment, know exactly where you're coming from bro. Something I have thought about. I am under no illusions as to her job scope, and the likelihood of her keeping a stable of guys like myself.

justl00king, thanks bro. I am also aware of the red flags. I do keep track of them. First she tested the waters by saying she needed help with her rent one day. Now I pay for her 'rent' every month. :) Not unique, but still skilful.

You all know as well as I do, when one comes under the influence of KC, what is missing is not the ability to break the influence.

As fdome said it, share her, and/or try many other WLs, and will surely in time forget her. In fact, usually sooner rather than later.

But what is truly missing, is the will to break the KC influence.

No amount of advice will work, because while it is happening, it is all so beautiful that victims like myself want to believe that it will never end. Until it eventually is, often not by our own hand.

lfc78, good for you on what seems a great family life. I have a child whom I adore. I also have a wife, which is rather unfortunate. Any way, I will not be publicly sharing details of my family issues.

Well, just need to juggle between family life and cheonging. Finding a kc here in sillypore is a no go for me. I rather spend couple of days over in China with kc. Perhaps 4 or 5 times a year. Anyway no comments on your views about religion. Upz you my humble 7. Please carry on. :D

[solarium]

Well bro, I myself am also under the influence of KC, but not as deep as you.
Sometimes you just care about the happy things that you both do together and neglect all other matters.
I can understand, you know that you may not be the only guy for her, but you can just neglect all of those.

In my case the FL that I like is very direct and warned me that this lovey-dovey thingy will only last till her work permit expires.
But it is this kind of honesty that has got me hooked.
We have set our perimeters right the first time, so I guessed I'm not as jialat as you.

Many a times it's the money you have that is causing the trouble, no?
Try to limit yourself on the amount that you spend on her.
We are all human, if you give me a dollar, I will expect more the other time.
Hope you do not get sucked till your coffers are empty.

[Asia1]

Thanks for the upzzz.

A bit more background info: me, 35yrs old, her age unknow lol. Why unknown? Because she has been advertised at various ages ha ha, but she told me she was 28 then (now 29). Strangely, her ID indicates that she is in fact 36??!!

Any way TBC..

her ic will not fault you hehe.

Looks like better you just keep her as kept mistress , dont think too much

U already married, just go out play, dont forget the fun and as long as u can afford, play the kc game :D

[Canoneos]

From your writing I gather you are highly educated. Very articulate and with self deprecating humour. Yet still kena KC'ed. Camping here. Please update soon.

[HCKing]

TS better dun be too kay kiang, knw what addiction means? it means the more u do it the more u cant live without it. cut it loose nw b4 things get out of yr control. it's onli a matter of time yr small head will overtake yr big head. in fact, it's oredi heading this way judging frm yr own self assurance of the affair. this self assurance is just a pathetic self justification of why u shld continue the relationship, despite her being blah blah blah.

bet the next thing u will start telling yrself is it's yr mission to persist n pass thru the baptism of fire in order to fully understand all u need to learn abt kc. :D

[wangmingjun]

how in the world does wifey not suspect ANYTHING!? oh well good luck though whether with wifey or ur FL...

[Gesch]

Bro larue, from your posts I can see you are a very logical person and generally you know the limits very well.

As such, my advice would be: go ahead and enjoy the moment. It's not everyday that you can have special feeling towards a woman, be it FL, WL or whatever. If 3k per month is okay for you after calculation, then go ahead. Not every 3k can buy you such happiness...

Most likely you'll wake up one day and find that your feeling is already not there. So the withdrawal from KC is not such a big issue either.

I wrote all these from my own experience :p

[owl888]

Well, just need to juggle between family life and cheonging. Finding a kc here in sillypore is a no go for me. I rather spend couple of days over in China with kc. Perhaps 4 or 5 times a year. Anyway no comments on your views about religion. Upz you my humble 7. Please carry on. :D

yup. CP is the way to go. As your damage is limited within those few days and whatever kc u received there, after coming back to Sg and after some time will be gone till the next trip.....

[lfc78]

yup. CP is the way to go. As your damage is limited within those few days and whatever kc u received there, after coming back to Sg and after some time will be gone till the next trip.....

Haha, so bro how many KC you have back in CP?
I almost weixin my mm everyday, spice up effect when u go back!
:D

[joew2005]

sigh ..... it's easy said then done.

[AllIsBad]

sigh ..... it's easy said then done.

Very true. :(

[owl888]

Haha, so bro how many KC you have back in CP?
I almost weixin my mm everyday, spice up effect when u go back!
:D

I learn to b heartless every trip new gal new kc:cool:

[FaithfulamI]

upzz for good advices

personally kenna KC trap by a thai coyote who looks a local without any plastic surgery, not the most pretty, so i'm guess im trap by her KC as well.

[lfc78]

I learn to b heartless every trip new gal new kc:cool:

Well, CP is very much different compare to years ago. Service and attitude of current crop of mms there sucks. So when I find a gem, I rather polish it frequently rather then unearthing newer ones.
:D

[larue]

Gesch: As such, my advice would be: go ahead and enjoy the moment. It's not everyday that you can have special feeling towards a woman, be it FL, WL or whatever. If 3k per month is okay for you after calculation, then go ahead. Not every 3k can buy you such happiness...

Most likely you'll wake up one day and find that your feeling is already not there. So the withdrawal from KC is not such a big issue either.

Asia1, 'U already married, just go out play, dont forget the fun and as long as u can afford, play the kc game'

Many thanks, indeed she will eventually head back home, and I will be left here with nothing but memories that will be lost in time, like tears in raid. But yes, I need to keep an eye out for expenditure escalation. Ha ha.

solarium, 'In my case the FL that I like is very direct and warned me that this lovey-dovey thingy will only last till her work permit expires.
But it is this kind of honesty that has got me hooked.
'

As she likes to tell me, we live for the present, and the best we can do is enjoy it if we can, and there is no point worrying about stuff we can may have little control over of in future. I take it that this is understood between herself and I that this is eventually what will happen as well.

In time, this will all end.

HCKing, 'TS better dun be too kay kiang, knw what addiction means? it means the more u do it the more u cant live without it. cut it loose nw b4 things get out of yr control. it's onli a matter of time yr small head will overtake yr big head. in fact, it's oredi heading this way judging frm yr own self assurance of the affair. this self assurance is just a pathetic self justification of why u shld continue the relationship, despite her being blah blah blah.'

What's a weak man to do bro? :)

wangmingjun, does my wife know or suspect anything? Maybe she does know something, suspect something, possibly even knows everything. I wouldn't know, and do not care to find out.

Oh, and women in Singapore should take heart that seemingly a large number of good guys still do exist, who value marriage and family as evidenced by the number of posts berating guys who do the whole family abandonment thing.

Now I'm not sure if I value marriage and family in the tradtional sense of the word, but there is absolutely nothing in my plans that involve leaving my wife and child to fend for themselves. Nothing will change that. I owe my wife a duty of care, which I am prepared to carry out for as long as I live, except in that one area in which I have felt for a long time now, that I no longer can.

[kristoa7]

Now I'm not sure if I value marriage and family in the tradtional sense of the word, but there is absolutely nothing in my plans that involve leaving my wife and child to fend for themselves. Nothing will change that. I owe my wife a duty of care, which I am prepared to carry out for as long as I live, except in that one area in which I have felt for a long time now, that I no longer can.[/QUOTE]

Kudos to you bro.There is hope for mankind..:D.

[larue]

Why I like her because she's PRC, and not despite it, which is a fairly common attitude here.

I am a sinophile, been one my entire life.

A lot of her actions and attitudes are reflective of her Chinese background, and therefore by no means unqiue to her. They manifest themselves in many PRCs here, regardless of decency of profession.

And in many ways, these attitudes are the very opposite of many things I have over time come to dislike, and even despise about this country of ours.

The first is her money face. I am not sure why the widespread animosity towards 'money-faced PRCs'.

Everyone is money-faced. Who isn't? Why do women in this country pretend they do not marry for money?

And I have always believed women should marry for money (and guys too, but it's harder for guys obviously). Not exclusively of course, I wouldn't expect any woman to marry a hideous nasty character of an ogre purely for money.

But to pretend that the money-gathering ability of a man contributes insignificantly to their cost-benefit analysis is just pretty pathetic. Because it has somehow become shameful to admit that a girl lusts after a guy because he has money.

It should not be a shameful thing, it is someting to be embraced.

And the thing is, what do these money-faced PRCs do? They go out and try to get some. As much as they can in fact.

My WL has been out in the field for half her life, she has risen and fallen financially. And she has never stopped trying to earn more. She has worked in several parts of China, several countries and is here now, all for the sake of money. She only studied up to the equivalent of our O levels, and has been out working, decently or indecently ever since.

Same for the Chinese SBS drivers who come to this place to drive our buses. It is because they are money-faced, no.

What do repressed money-faced Singaporeans do? Complain, and then complain some more. Government must give us money. just fucking go out and get some. Don't go to a coffeeshop, real or virtual and complain that somebody owes you something, that one's been shafted by the so-called 'pro-ft' policies of our government.

Ironically, the loudest mouths are those whose livelihoods are in no way directly impacted by the foreign worker population here but who like to bash the government, because it is fashionable to do so. Fashionable and useless.

The world is full of opportunities. While trying to exploit an opportunity may be useful, it strangely appears unfashionable which is why Singaporeans don't want to try.

TBC.

[marcuslee]

Dear TS

Liked your story, as i am in more or less a similar situation.

Married and been cheonging around for yrs. always hv a bunch of regulars that i go to. And if they leave after 1,2 yrs, searched
for another one and she takes over. But a few months back, met a prc ktv gal and been meeting her once or twice a week

And i Find myself thinking of her everyday though knowing the dangers, i do not contact her everyday, only to meet up. I hv even thought of giving up on all the other regulars. These are thoughts i never had before.

Waiting for your updates

[littleman2]

Why I like her because she's PRC, and not despite it, which is a fairly common attitude here.

I am a sinophile, been one my entire life.

A lot of her actions and attitudes are reflective of her Chinese background, and therefore by no means unqiue to her. They manifest themselves in many PRCs here, regardless of decency of profession.

And in many ways, these attitudes are the very opposite of many things I have over time come to dislike, and even despise about this country of ours.

The first is her money face. I am not sure why the widespread animosity towards 'money-faced PRCs'.

Everyone is money-faced. Who isn't? Why do women in this country pretend they do not marry for money?

And I have always believed women should marry for money (and guys too, but it's harder for guys obviously). Not exclusively of course, I wouldn't expect any woman to marry a hideous nasty character of an ogre purely for money.

But to pretend that the money-gathering ability of a man contributes insignificantly to their cost-benefit analysis is just pretty pathetic. Because it has somehow become shameful to admit that a girl lusts after a guy because he has money.

It should not be a shameful thing, it is someting to be embraced.

And the thing is, what do these money-faced PRCs do? They go out and try to get some. As much as they can in fact.

My WL has been out in the field for half her life, she has risen and fallen financially. And she has never stopped trying to earn more. She has worked in several parts of China, several countries and is here now, all for the sake of money. She only studied up to the equivalent of our O levels, and has been out working, decently or indecently ever since.

Same for the Chinese SBS drivers who come to this place to drive our buses. It is because they are money-faced, no.

What do repressed money-faced Singaporeans do? Complain, and then complain some more. Government must give us money. just fucking go out and get some. Don't go to a coffeeshop, real or virtual and complain that somebody owes you something, that one's been shafted by the so-called 'pro-ft' policies of our government.

Ironically, the loudest mouths are those whose livelihoods are in no way directly impacted by the foreign worker population here but who like to bash the government, because it is fashionable to do so. Fashionable and useless.

The world is full of opportunities. While trying to exploit an opportunity may be useful, it strangely appears unfashionable which is why Singaporeans don't want to try.

TBC.

I have been a silent reader all these years on the experiences of many here and your thoughts above speaks out the thoughts that i have ! Kudos !

I am really tired of listening and hearing all those weak and petty minded people that just pushed the blame on the government and FT. Let's face the fact, competition exists everywhere and anywhere and if we are not up to the challenge, we are out of the game. I do hope to see the day that we Singaporeans rise up and work our way through and stop whining like a little spoilt brat !:rolleyes:

[Gaofar]

I am addicted to a FL!..

And who wasn't addicted to an FL at any one time if you cheong long enough?.. I'll say that if you never kenna before and pulled out of it alive, you are not qualified enough to speak of others. Bro AD's case is the premier classic case of this year..

Anyway Bro L, from your posts I sees that you are a logical and sensible person to speak of your current "calamity" in such finesse structure (unless you are a reporter or a lawyer..:D). I gathered that you are actually capable to pull away from this situation but just need some "confirmations/advice" from bros here to kickstart you into action.

Well, let's start with what is her "winning-hand" over you shall we? But apparently you don't seems to able to furnish us with any details on what's her hold on you. You say that she is fugly, a 7.5 out of 10. You say that sex is just sex and nothing to scream about.

Ah.. But you mention that you like the way how she soothes you, the way that a woman should attends to you, ever so feminine and seductive, right?..

If that's the case my brother, then you really should just let go of this "cursed" relationship and concentrate on the key problem instead of venturing further. Let me put this to you: JUST because your wife did not have sex with you for years and not able to extend her supposed wife duties to caress you with womenly touch that you are yearning for, and with all other social pressure that you are facing, to finally met a lady whom would relish your "hunger" needs must be a god-found blessing for you.. I've been through this stage before brother, and I hope that you will not end your story like mine..

Sometime it is also important to know what is right to do and what is good to do.. If you have no other feelings for that FL, sex is plain, she is a plain-jane, she is money-face, she gets you things that you hate, etc., etc., then for goodness sake just stop this thing if the ONLY hold she had on you is that she can exudes womanly touch for you.. My last KC is at least a pretty SYT and at least 10 years younger my age, plus the womanly touch which I also yearned then.. Brother, your issue is simply your wife which you just need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her (or probably you have done that already?). Well, for me then I tried to talk seriously to my ex-wife but she simply "bochup", for a good length of 5 years before I go "hay-wire"..

I know how you feel. I know how one feels relieve and happy to finally found a woman who is concern about you so dearly that you are wondering why your legal other half was not like this.. And you find you want more of it.. That also spells the downward spiral that you are feeling now..

Brother L, I know you can do it. I know that you can close this relationship with that FL and move on. You should think about your family and weigh how important it is to you, sans wife if you may. We fathers are a bunch of emotional baggage. Want children by our side yet have to contend to wife's lunacy or non-existence attachments.

Sigh.. Stay strong brother. Your life is worth much more than this little r/s with your FL. Contact me if you need any advice and I will try to assist.

Cheers and regards.

[eQuipment]

....... You all know as well as I do, when one comes under the influence of KC, what is missing is not the ability to break the influence....... But what is truly missing, is the will to break the KC influence.

No amount of advice will work, because while it is happening, it is all so beautiful that victims like myself want to believe that it will never end. Until it eventually is, often not by our own hand. bro, kena KC is not that difficult to break. as soon as u find a finer pussy, u will dump this present 1 for the next.... its the kongtao that is difficult to break :D

whenever the chicks ask me for favors beyond the standard transactions, i also counter offer, asking for favor to fulfil my dream of becoming father of many nations.

if raw is war, then, no raw = no straw.

*straw, dried feed for farmed grazing animals.

[superhuman]

whenever the chicks ask me for favors beyond the standard transactions, i also counter offer, asking for favor to fulfil my dream of becoming father of many nations.

if raw is war, then, no raw = no straw.

*straw, dried feed for farmed grazing animals.

what does asking for favor to fulfil my dream of becoming father of many nations means

[dyelook]

what does asking for favor to fulfil my dream of becoming father of many nations means

means every country which have wl/fl, you wish you could have a son or daughter in that country.. in more easier words, SPREADING YOUR SEEDS TO WHATEVER COUNTRY'S PUSSIES THAT YOU GET A CHANCE TO LAY YOUR DICK ;)

[superhuman]

means every country which have wl/fl, you wish you could have a son or daughter in that country.. in more easier words, SPREADING YOUR SEEDS TO WHATEVER COUNTRY'S PUSSIES THAT YOU GET A CHANCE TO LAY YOUR DICK ;)

wahahahah, ok

[singmarine]

u cum inside her before?

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[larue]

hotstuff: You're right, I'm not in the least bit interested in ending this right now. By the same token, I am not actually crying for help. I have been here, and read enough to know that the advice is pretty much the same for everyone to whom something like this has happened. I am not a special snowflake, no man is in a situation like this.

Perhaps I may have overstated the extent of my being kc'ed. I do actually have self-defense mechanisms in place.

As for wrecking my marriage and family, I am not sure how that will pan out, if it does. I consider my marriage over, and have felt this way for years. Whatever happens, there is absolutely no way my wife and child will be left to fend for themselves on account of anything I do.

I feel responsible for my wife, and of course my child (on whom I dote and consider it essential that I play my role in ensuring he grows up to functional, useful, happy and responsible. Of course, all these are subject to interpretation, as I am aware that many would already consider me irresponsible, but I trust that with guidance and support, he can sort these out for himself next time).

Ensuring they are well taken care of is paramount for now, and nothing will detract from that. I just no longer feel capable, and have felt this way for many years, of taking care of my wife romantically.

Your advice, and that of many others is very much appreciated. the thing is: I don't want to conduct the experiment you suggested, because I know it will work. She will soon be forgotten, a finer pusser as described by eQuipment. :)

Gaofar: I'm kidding about the fugly part bro, lol, someone asked if she's pretty. Which of course is the case to me, since these things really do appeal to men.

I know how one feels relieve and happy to finally found a woman who is concern about you so dearly that you are wondering why your legal other half was not like this. Actually, I can tell a lot of it is fake lol. I suppose this is what I mean by self defense mechanism.

your issue is simply your wife which you just need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her (or probably you have done that already?). Well, for me then I tried to talk seriously to my ex-wife but she simply "bochup", for a good length of 5 years before I go "hay-wire".. I have, it leads to emo. Lots of it. I have maintained an emotional, and sexual distance from my wife for many years now.

singmarine: yes.

I appreciate the advice, but just so you all know and probably can tell, I didn't come here to seek advice on how to break this. Any idiot knows how to do it, if he chooses to.

Idiots like me don't want to.

Perhaps when this has run its course, it may be just another cautionary tale for others, maybe it will just peter out with nothing left (and thereby be not much of a story at all!), maybe there will be a happy ending! Right.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[larue]

Now adding to the part of her appeal being PRC as contrast to Singaporeans.

I love the language, the way she speaks (again one must emphasize that it is probably no better, and no worse than peers, and almost certainly not as good a peer of hers with more education). It's like...music.

The way the words roll off her tongue, fanciful phrases (by my own shitty standards) in reference even to the most simple of things. It's so... sexy. Except when she uses vulgarities ha ha, which happes to be very frequently in fact.

This is in stark contrast to so many Singaporeans, educated or otherwise, whose command of one, or both languages is so poor that they are unable to converse meaningfully with native English or Mandarin speakers on anything but the most banal of issues.

One's ability to frame an argument or a point-of-view is necessarily constarined by one's ability in whatever selected language. And this is where so many Singaporeans fail, there is so much anger here over comments from Sun Xu, and when told to reflect upon his words, are unable to come up with anything more than mass indignation because they cannot put in words why they are angry, beyond a vague feeling that they must be.

Just a note: when a dog barks, other dogs in the neighbourhood follow. In the end, they are all barking, and none of them really have a clue what they're barking about. Perhaps Sun Xu has a point.

Watching local television is a cringe-worthy exercise. It is one thing to absorb foreign elements into a language. happens all the time. It is another to mix them up randomly because one lacks the ability or willingness to try to do it properly in one language. And then to take pride in it? *facepalm*

No wonder Singaporeans get pushed over everwhere. Get pushed around by bad service froma Filipino service staff? Get all hot under the collar about it, but still feel so helpless because so many are unable to give the bad service perpetrator a good upside down fucking because they do't know how to. So much anger with no outlet for release in this country.

End result: blame the foreigner. Hopefully old man's recent $10mil plus add-ons will actually achieve something more than Bryan Wong appearing on tv and speaking as badly as he can in all languages.

Thanks Old Man, your years of bilingualism has produced an army of excellent technical-paper writing yes men, but not many who have the ability to conceive of themselves as anything other than followers.

Of course, other factors contribute to this, but it is my opinion that linguistic ability has an important role.

If you cannot say what you mean, you cannot mean what you say. Yes, so I love the language part of being with her. Expensive Chinese lessons.

Can get them cheaper at the SCCCI of course, and probably better. But I don't get the bonks.

TBC

[manhunt]

Now adding to the part of her appeal being PRC as contrast to Singaporeans.

I love the language, the way she speaks (again one must emphasize that it is probably no better, and no worse than peers, and almost certainly not as good a peer of hers with more education). It's like...music.

The way the words roll off her tongue, fanciful phrases (by my own shitty standards) in reference even to the most simple of things. It's so... sexy. Except when she uses vulgarities ha ha, which happes to be very frequently in fact.

This is in stark contrast to so many Singaporeans, educated or otherwise, whose command of one, or both languages is so poor that they are unable to converse meaningfully with native English or Mandarin speakers on anything but the most banal of issues.


Yo, brother, i know exactly how you feel about this. Even i feel this way too that many PRC the way they speaks sounds wayyy better than our local breed. Yet they get despised or irritated look by our local females when they speak in public etc.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[Marblecat]

Well, if nothing else, this whole thread is certainly atypical, if nothing else, due to the honesty and seeming self awareness of TS. I hope you don't mind if I pop in, even if my comments may seem banal. I have to admit that there is an element of compulsion that draws curious on-lookers in, akin to an accident scene-in-coming perhaps? Or not quite, just something different, with elements that speak to different levels of different readers (e.g. whoring, marital problems, mid-life angst etc), and an outcome that could be tragic, sad, funny, but probably rather dramatic, and unlikely to be boring. So yes, the compulsive viewing compulsion can be understood haha.

Just as an aid for my own lack of clarity, could I ask if you, bro Larue, can simply state again, why you think you are embarking on this, and why your journal here (I think it does have an even chance of becoming a journal yes)? What ends do yo useek, or is the act of penning cathartic in itself?

I'm not going to be patronizing and say I can empathise, although I think I can really share what you feel on certain levels. Sadly, I think many married men can. If I were in your shoes now, I can hazard a few stray meandering thoughts as to why I do what I'm doing. Being with an FL the way you describe, if nothing else, gives a point of reference, if you catch my meaning. And in life, one can wear the mask of the world weary, weather beaten, older-but-wiser man of experience all one wants, but there is still space, or even need, for points of reference.

It matters not even if it turns out ultimately an exercise in futility, or bereft of value or meaning; because right here, right now, and right with me, it has substance, it has character, it has reality. It is in some ways, like the first cigarette after 10 years since you quit. You're not really addicted to the nicotine (or re-addicted yet), but you could be; you're doing it for other reasons. The familiar, yet forgotten feel of the filter between the fingers, the acrid, yet soothing intrusion of smoke down your throat. Heck, this can't be good for you, and damn if you can't even say "Damn but this feels good", because, it IS good, but perhaps not THAT good. But you're already on your second hit even as that thought crosses your mind. And of course, you can quit, but it's not going to get easier with time, but to quit now, well it just doesn't seem ... what's the word? Fitting?

I hear what the situation is with the wife. It's sad but not unique. Self-awareness is seldom a weakness and perhaps you might want to consider your true take on this. There can only be so many emotional black holes in one's life, and there can be no emotional vacuum, no matter how de-sensitised and hardened you may feel. A true breakdown in relationships is not characterised by hate, but by indifference. And respites from indifference can take many forms, even ones that are not constructive.

I wish you luck, and hope to stay on and observe developments. It could be another point of reference for you, me, and a zillion silent observers reading this while making sense of thrie lives.

[trlzz]

I don't mean mean to be rude, but i think there is no point in encouraging tS at this point, when u say or proclaim or declare that " I know I am an idiot!" it doesn't mean anything less if you are really are one

Look man, there are plenty of gals (PRC or otherwise) who are not money-faced and with the right values, and i'm sure you will find someone like that sooner or later if you decide to say sayonara to your wife

i think you are just addicted to her machinations la, snap out of it man, siao

[larue]

I am here seeking neither endorsement of or opprobrium towards my actions. It is not intended as a cautionary tale, or a unducement for action to or for anyone else. We all make our own judgement calls.

Not to mention my story is on going. Writing it all down may reveal things to me that I may not have thought about simply leaving my thoughts floating around in my head.

I am penning my thoughts primarily for my own benfit, and it may as well be on a public domain since it may be of interest to some. Useful comments will come, as will brickbats, which is par for course if one chooses to talk about these things in public.

Which, of course is rendered possible by the anonymity afforded by the internet.

Nevermind, I am meandering now.

[larue]

Lost almost my entire post navigating out of page by accident! TBC.........

[larue]

Been giving more though to why she appeals to me so much over the past few days.

In my eyes, she is the most caring and gentle woman in the world, with a giant heart and soul and a character so full of kind kindness and beauty.

Wait, scratch that, it sounds like BS. In fact, it is all BS, the kind of BS guys feel compelled to spew when prepping to propose to their girlfriends or some other such shit. I’m done with it, done with living in a world of false virtue.

Now what really draws me to this woman, is her incredible outlook on life. It is one shaped by years of unsheltered experience of being out on her own. It is an outlook that is almost completely devoid of negativity and self-pity.

When things are not going her way, she tears away the negative parts, and focuses on the positives. If there aren’t any, she finds some. She moves on from is useless to dwell on, and onto something she can work on to regain some measure of joy.

I sit there, watching and listening to her speak about pretty much everything while smoking my cigarette, then she throws her head back and laughs. Laughing that she talks so much, and should in fact look for a career in teaching people how to look beyond being unhappy.

And I tell her that which is absolutely true, anyone I know who’s unhappy (and pretty much everyone I know here is unhappy) should have a chat with her. And if they could look beyond their own prejudice (if any) regarding what she does, they would emerge far happier, and perhaps find more meaning in the things that they do.

And I absolutely also love the way she tells me how to take care of my health. What kinds of food to eat to improve whatever part of an ailing body, what kinds of fruits to consume etc. And the frequent reminders that I follow her instructions.

Things my generation have all but long lost and forgotten. How to look after our own bodies. We eat junk, and could barely state any kind of nutritional values of the different kinds of foods we eat daily (if we do) beyond the basics of meat is bad, veg is good.

My generation and my demographic is one that considers itself enlightened, educated, worldly-wise and so on, but really, it is one that knows everything, except that which is important.

Even simple basic things like our local natural environment, or what’s left of it. I could not name most types of flora all over this island beyond the basics communicated to me in primary school textbooks, and I certainly don’t remember any of it now. Certainly I learnt nothing of these from my parents, families or peers (not blaming any one, but that’s just how it went).

We were walking when she asked about a certain flower we passed by (I absolutely loved the way she described it, I am unable to reproduce it in any form). I told her I had no clue what it was, or pretty much what anything was as far as plants here go. To which I get a ‘打你， 什么都不知道！’ and a slap on the arm.

TBC.

[K9696]

we were walking when she asked about a certain flower we passed by (i absolutely loved the way she described it, i am unable to reproduce it in any form). I told her i had no clue what it was, or pretty much what anything was as far as plants here go. To which i get a ‘打你， 什么都不知道！’ and a slap on the arm.

Tbc.

感觉你回到从前时候在 谈恋爱.....
她所扮演的角色可能你未曾享受过的 - 或许你曾经有过 - 但是是一个回味过去的恋爱史
哈哈哈...:)

[larue]

wah, you writing storybook ah?

Yah, expected to bore most of you, but written for my own enjoyment (or not) primarily.

感觉你回到从前时候在 谈恋爱.....
她所扮演的角色可能你未曾享受过的 - 或许你曾经有过 - 但是是一个回味过去的恋爱史
哈哈哈...:)

或许吧.

Anyway, lately I have been exceptionally busy ... with her.

Can't believe wife doesn't know, or suspect anything. Maybe she knows everything. *shrug*

What is the dynamic of this relationship? Does she like me? or as she freqently professes, loves me?

Well of course she likes me, she positively adores me. I provide well for her, of course she likes me. Even the unlikeable bits become not so unlikeable in light of that. The money she gets from me makes her life easier. It's easy for her to like me.

She was talking to her mother on the phone yesterday while I was just lying around playing solitaire on my phone when she handed me the phone abruptly so I could say hello to her mother. Which was pretty funny, especially the invitation that I should go and visit them sometime.

She just sent some money back home, and I gather it's her annual non-emergency remittance when she goes to the bank and draws out every cent. My contribution to that fund, including a one-off just for it (she disguised it as money she owed people back there, she really could just have asked, but that never looks good) was about 7k.

Clearly, I have not been able to keep a lid on the escalating cost of her continued companionship. Such is her hold on me.

I tell her that I am unable to sustain this level of spending indefinitely because I have other commitments that cannot be sacrificed on her account, and she nods knowingly. She tells me that as her boyfriend, she appreciates what I do for her, and if I cannot afford to give her that much money, I have to just tell her.

I tell her her jokingly that she needs to find someone with at least twice my means if she expects the same level of financial support over the onger term, and she smacks me like I'm not supposed to say that.

Yet it is perfectly understood between the two of us is that if the money dries up, so does her love and affection.

Over the course of conversations with her, the topic of PRC women (including her friends) leaving their devoted husbands or boyfriends on the basis of their being poor comes up. These are not intended as a warning or anything, but merely stated as matters of fact.

So the day comes when I am no longer willing, or able to 'support' (now the money I give her is affectionately known as living expenses lol) her, she will move on because being with me will no longer mesh with her objective in life, which is to amass as much money as possible.

That's what she is, a mover on. I am not the first person she has become emotionally attached to, largely on account of money, nor I suspect, be the last.

Tht said, she does have a shelf life, of which I am sure she is aware. And I am absolutely certain she has an unwavering target of how much she needs to amass by whatever age.

And she does whatever she has to to achieve it. And she never loses sight of that true objective. Truly remarkable. Something we should all learn from.

And in 3 days, she departs our shores for a few months of R&R back in her hometown, and will be back after 3, maybe 4 months. She suggested that i rent a place for her near my place after she returns so I can just go by anytime. Lol, that's practically mistress territory. Tempting as it sounds, it hardly sounds feasible in any way.

A few months witout her presence would be a good thing, awful as it sounds right now.

For the past few months. I have been living a false life that feels real, and a real one that feels like a dream.

Why have things come to this, why has my life come to this? That is the question.

TBC.

[Asia1]

share the story, share the fl, all trouble will gone ,,, :D:D

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[stone08]

nice writing...wonder what the future holds for both of you..

[synyster]

Bro, have you given up on your marriage? if you haven't you should try to spend more time with your family. revive the intimate moments with your wife. you've already said that the FL was just after your dough, whenever she runs out of it, you will be contacted. to put it blunt, you're not the only one with money in this world. you might just be one of the mass senders she sending to. she have others to rely on. you don't. unless you wanna live life just bedding with FLs.

go think what do you see in your marriage now and make a decision. you stated that sex life have been stagnent for years, im sure it's not something a girl can handle too especially if she's married. talk to your wife.

Damned fucking right I am, and I never ever thought it could possibly happen to me. I always thought I was capable of regarding them as nothing more than casual and transient service providers.

...

And she knows it, that clever girl. And she keeps me hooked..... How she does to follow when I next update. And what I like about her, and eventually how I think this will all end (badly of course!).

TBC

[larue]

Thanks again for all advice.

This girl has gone back for about 2 weeks now. We have had contact via sms and whatsapp, but I have not tried to reach her by phone, nor downloaded QQ.

She has not asked for money yet, lol, that part surprises me.

Any way, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life. Performing an assessment at my age revealed terrible things.

That I had been lost and aimless for a terribly terribly long time. This led to me focusing on things I need not and should not be, and totally disregarding the things that matter, especially things pertaining to self-development and self-actualization.

Hitherto, my entire life was purely passive and reactionary. Going with the flow so to speak.

Entering a comfort zone that appeared perfect and enviable to all, but which in fact had been slowly killing me for years.

I blamed everyone else, in particular the wife for for all my unhappiness, but I realize that it is me who has to change first. Perhaps she too can and will change, and perhaps the future for us may not be as bleak as I imagined it.

She needs to move out of her comfort zone as well, but first she has to realize what a terrible place it really is. Short of an outright earth shattering row, I can think of no idea to bring that about. And frankly, I'm not sure even such a row would achieve anything.

A change was long overdue in my life, and I have finally taken concrete steps to address the issue. Perhaps a change in me will effect one in her, because actions speak louder than words.

I have a few irons in the fire now, and my days are now preoccupied with setting things in motion.

I must not any longer allow my mind and body to be idle, because that is what brought me all my unhappiness to begin with.

[kutaocheng]

bro larue, seems like your relationship with wifey has soured over the years..

what caused that?
and you mentioned about the arrival of a child expedited the process.. mind elaborating?

[Gaofar]

Cheers Bro LR,

Hope that you will have brighter days ahead and hopefully you and your family will rekindled, be tighter, and be happier forever!

Look forward to your good feedbacks.
(Of course, if it tilts into the other direction, still let us know lah.. Haha.. 我觉得我有点八..)

Cheers and regards.

[Marcel]

Now what really draws me to this woman, is her incredible outlook on life. It is one shaped by years of unsheltered experience of being out on her own. It is an outlook that is almost completely devoid of negativity and self-pity.

When things are not going her way, she tears away the negative parts, and focuses on the positives. If there aren’t any, she finds some. She moves on from is useless to dwell on, and onto something she can work on to regain some measure of joy.

I sit there, watching and listening to her speak about pretty much everything while smoking my cigarette, then she throws her head back and laughs. Laughing that she talks so much, and should in fact look for a career in teaching people how to look beyond being unhappy.

And I tell her that which is absolutely true, anyone I know who’s unhappy (and pretty much everyone I know here is unhappy) should have a chat with her. And if they could look beyond their own prejudice (if any) regarding what she does, they would emerge far happier, and perhaps find more meaning in the things that they do.

.............


Sad that you did not continue the story bro but i like this part here. Now if only more of us could have such an outlook on life but i suppose personally i'm more of an emo type of guy anyway.

[Greatking]

Sad that you did not continue the story bro but i like this part here. Now if only more of us could have such an outlook on life but i suppose personally i'm more of an emo type of guy anyway.

I suppose you should be quite young?

Older group is normally numb to emo already :D

[lthrAus]

I'm in exactly the same boat as you. Successful in life in all ways, but still unhappy with life. I had a fling with a Mongolian FL and fell in love. Made everything in life very difficult and hard to cope. Probably years of stress and unhappiness building up, and perhaps feeling trapped in life and work. Unable to make the big decision to change and what's next, probably due to success so far.

It's good to hear you have some plans. For me, I'm still lost.

A good read for you is The Monk who sold his Ferrari. Highly recommended for people in our situation.

Like you said, however, these girls are in the end driven by money which shines through. I think that love is secondary for them and always will be.

[Shadow_warrior]

Hi bro,

good to see some sharing here

its not hard to find solace in FL, especially when a marriage gets stable,

things happen, move into comfort zone

When I want to add, even the love with the FL can hit snags

Now the FL I fell in love with, quit her work, we have been together, and I can tell

you, the sex, the passion, after 2 years, pretty much feels the same as the

marriage.

What you gonna do? Life is complicated, just do what you feel is right

[lthrAus]

Hi bro

Definitely good to share the experiences. Yours sounds amazing Shadow. No problems with money focus etc? And commitment?

[Marcel]

Hi bro,

good to see some sharing here

its not hard to find solace in FL, especially when a marriage gets stable,

things happen, move into comfort zone

When I want to add, even the love with the FL can hit snags

Now the FL I fell in love with, quit her work, we have been together, and I can tell

you, the sex, the passion, after 2 years, pretty much feels the same as the

marriage.

What you gonna do? Life is complicated, just do what you feel is right

Hi i rmemeber your story on your past 7 flings so the woman you married used to work as an fl?

[Shadow_warrior]

Hi i rmemeber your story on your past 7 flings so the woman you married used to work as an fl?

I didnt have 7 flings. I had 6 gf, married the last girl became my wife

the ex fl is now fb

[Shadow_warrior]

Hi bro

Definitely good to share the experiences. Yours sounds amazing Shadow. No problems with money focus etc? And commitment?

sorry dont understand what you mean

money, focus and commitment are all similar yet different terms...

whose problems? mine or the fb?

[zuer]

I didnt have 7 flings. I had 6 gf, married the last girl became my wife

the ex fl is now fb

you are dam lucky guy hehe :D, should be ex gf become fb right, not ex fl ? :cool:

[TheSeeker]

Interesting read.

Personally, I did have a few close encounters with FLs too but I am always quick to back myself off.

For example, when the FL I RTF starts saying things like I could call her to chat even if it's not to engage her services etc.. I would naturally see red and avoid any kind of contact..

Life and choices are complex as they already are, so I'm really not about ready to get myself into a KC trap with an FL.

Just some thoughts..

[SMGG]

Interesting read.

Life and choices are complex as they already are, so I'm really not about ready to get myself into a KC trap with an FL.

Just some thoughts..

agree bro, play conservative will save you lot of troubles. For me fl means fuck forget and let go. :D

[Shadow_warrior]

you are dam lucky guy hehe :D, should be ex gf become fb right, not ex fl ? :cool:

the fb was a fl,wl when I met her

later became fb so she quit

[Marcel]

the fb was a fl,wl when I met her

later became fb so she quit

so i suppose you support her in some ways financially?

How do you manage to juggle time with her and your wife?

[shiokpleasure]

the next time you see the wl. tell her no more money. the curse or spell which you are under will magically be broken and disappear.

just bring $50 which is enough for your massage and nothing else.

[HCKing]

Interesting read.

Personally, I did have a few close encounters with FLs too but I am always quick to back myself off.

For example, when the FL I RTF starts saying things like I could call her to chat even if it's not to engage her services etc.. I would naturally see red and avoid any kind of contact..

Life and choices are complex as they already are, so I'm really not about ready to get myself into a KC trap with an FL.

Just some thoughts..

u can call her to chat cos business is slow mah.....so need more support frm customers, regardless of young and old. make sure u dont forget her.:D

[dudenumber1]

dude... u know u r going to get into trouble why on earth u still carry on? Good luck

[cupid]

u can call her to chat cos business is slow mah.....so need more support frm customers, regardless of young and old. make sure u dont forget her.:D

bro seems you know this trade very well hehe, how cum no fl/wl ask me to call and chat them ? :rolleyes::rolleyes: I like hard massage hehe