Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonicSS
First off, I do apologise as I was not aware (well.. I didn't really read all the pages) that this tread was specifically for wives AFTER kids. I got lazy, sorry about that.
Now, actually, I do not agree with you at all with what you say. lol. Let's just put it as "we agree to disagree and that you disagree with what I say" before I continue further.
By kids, I meant around 18 and above - you could call them young adults. I often see parents trying to control their kids beyond that. They should be allowed to date and try around. It is their prime time where they are free to do those. I'd admit I do not have a daughter, but seeing how I met my wife, I'd be more insistent on her having such a life because through experience, she will know what she wants in her future husband in that aspect - not only just n character. I'd want her to enjoy her life with her partner in person and IN BED, like i do now. -You may read this with dismay and say "this is a load of bull". But I'd leave this to you That the outsiders are often the ones who see the bigger picture in your life as many do get entangled in their small little web. I do not say because it is in the end none of my business as the family is yours and not mine. The only reason why I say now is because of the veil of the internet. 
You mentioned that sex should be enjoyed in marriage. So how can you enjoy something that you do not know? Yeah I know, you treat sex sacred. but that really defeats the purpose. It shouldn't be the case.
"Choosing a partner should be based on character compatibility, not sex". Ahhh, the biggest elephant in the room is mentioned. As I said, when you choose someone, you choose based on character compatibility AND sexual performance. The world didn't tell you that you could only choose one out of the two choices. So why do that? Wouldn't it have been alot better if you took the time to try out the sex as well yeah? We all like to be prepared cause the future is always uncertain, marriage is important, so closing one more door of uncertainty is definately better right?
Lastly about opening presents too early.. I didn't quite get that. I'm assuming something, but I figured I'd wait till someone explains later on. |
Bro, thanks for the mature stance of agreeing to disagree. Sex is not sacred. It is to be enjoyed, meaning as often as one can. Within the confines of marriage.
I view character pursuits the only criteria. This is because I have 2 daughters. I teach them this aspect well. It is easier than finding a gun to shoot whatever guy they eventually date. When you are a father, you will understand this better. Its just too bad you are on the opposite side now and your motivation is to get them into bed. I can understand it.
Many who have premarital sex still find sex elusive after marriage. So I don't buy the argument of trying it out first so that one can have a better gauge of the future. The argument serves to only satisfy the boys raging hormones for their selfish reasons.
A girl brought up with self worth is a powerhouse. My wife is an example. She is a corporate high flier because she knows how to respect herself. She can entertain bosses and CEOs without losing herself and yet be a submissive wife at home. But you won't like her upbringing if you are the one trying to get inside her pants.
I rather teach my daughters this than defer it to their bfs to steer them into what directions they desire. Like you wisely opined, to each his own. You need search no further than this forum to know unwanted pregnancies is a real problem. Women carry the child, not the guys.
You didnt get my point on character. If character is discovered during dating, it will lead to sexual compatibility. I am saying talk it out. Not avoid talking, not suppressing. If you can't detect the sexual compatibility, you are not dating enough.
Lastly, if sex is a consideration for marriage then I ask, what happens when the sex disappears?
A marriage based on sex or with any consideration for sex, is just going to fizzle out in the long run. A marriage based on an unfettered desire to communicate and an unselfish desire to please one's partner, is stronger. Sex will be natural and frequent when this happens.
You probably opened your present before time.