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Originally Posted by asjer
It's rare but it's not unheard of. For my wedding and most of my cousins, we made a profit through shared red packets. Furthermore, we chose not to make it glamorous or style even if it happens only once in a lifetime. If the woman married the man out of true love, then she would not compromise years of debts just to repay a day of celebration. If a man is silly enough to give in to his wife to be before marriage, then that man has no one else is blame but himself for his follies. We can pamper our other half but we should never spoil them.
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thanks for the highlight... however it may be, in asian context... many though 'modern', but very much still are influenced by the traditional values... and so customary practices still are prominent these days, let alone; marriage ceremonies, babies' full month observance, funeral rituals...etc.
and for the common issue of 'face', somehow or other.. there's tendency that the male side is obliged to host (foot all/majority of the bill) the function.... so as to be recognised as the good/promising son-in-law.(not forgetting the commonly abused terms: 娶老婆 vs 嫁女儿)
ironic as it gets, marriage is supposed to the be a joyous occassion for the couple, but when family/in-laws come into the equation... things at times get abit more complicated. i've witnessed brewing disputes over the banquet billing/angbao splitting by the parents/in-laws. which truly sets the wedded couple in quite a major fix.
IMO, as long as the wedding is planned & budgeted by the couple alone, frictions are less likely to surface. the key: wedding is just for a day, its the marriage (days that follow) that truly matters.