I have bring my problems to this thread instead. Sigh... Its like a forbidden love I am having.

True enough. I was away last having a ON session with my tirak. I can tell u guys last night was really dramatic.

Well, somehow, I dunno why when I went to pay for my ON to the OKT just hours before I ON my tirak, when I abt to leave, I saw this WL came out from her room and she gave me a stern look. I was still sitting there, hoping to catch a glimpse of my tirak before I go for my dinner. Then, I think the OKT go out of the house, dunno go where, this WL came out from the tank and scold me. Apparently, there was some dispute between me and that WL. The details is not impt. After exchanges of words, the OKT came in and she went back in. Then, some customers in and that WL also went for duty. Somehow, I dunno why, my tirak and some of the WLs in the tank all cry. OMG. I asked myself why they cry. I also damn scared that the OKT sees.

After explanations from some gals, they say that the WLs all feel for me and they understand it is not my fault. Sigh?! I was like so stunned when I make a move.

When I left, I sms my tirak telling her that dun be sad and that tonight will be my last night seeing her after the ON. The fact that I gave her problems makes me want to leave her for good. Somehow, she called me when I was having dinner and told me she will be sad. I told her my stand it will be better to part our ways cos we really belong from 2 different worlds.

When my ON session starts, I sat down feeling a bit restless cos I was still affected by what has happen hours before. I still love her and somehow the bet with my friends no longer matters. No more cheap trills. I think I love her alot now. But then, I told her again my stand and she explained to me that she is sad and cried just now because that WL scolded me. I still tell her that I am giving her problems and unhappiness and to part way is that best outcome. I told her I am afraid to visit that house again after that attitude from that WL. Then, out of the blue, she covered her face to her pillow and cried and cried. She keep saying "if u dun come find me, the me how?" At first, I thought it was part of her act and then I bo chup her. Then she keep cry and cry non-stop for 10 mins. I was then soft hearted and told her that I am sorry and that's when I realised my love for her is true.

I tried to coax her and cheer her up with some of my little surprises. She finally smiled a little. We kissed and hugs and we promised to bring up this unhappiness again. While drying her tears, she told me she never been that sad before in SG. Haiz. I told her not to worry and I asked her to be my gf. However, she said no cannot tell. I dunno what she mean. But she says must wait. The reason she gave me is that her feelings is still at a initial stage. She worry if she entrust all her love to me so fast now, she may get hurt if i cheat on one day. She wants it nice and slow.

After that moments later, I asked her why must wait so long then can be gf. She then gave me another reason say if she accept me now (which is so fast), she is scared that I may think that she is just bluffing me . She wants the time to justify her love for me. OMG... now I headache. The whole ON sessions makes us each other understand well. And my love is really growing for her. Can someone just tell me, is she really in love with me?

When I sleep with her last night, I dream about my parents refusing to let us be together. When I woke up, I realise that I really cannot leave without her? I think tru everthing and I din sleep well. I hug her and told her I am sorry and I promise never to leave her again.