[5ag1_Boar]

Probably mentioned this somewhere in SBF before. After my child was conceive, had ZERO sex with wife till divorce (about 3 yrs). During counseling, she said she cannot reconcile being a mother and being sexual... I'm like WTF? But, I guess it's a psychological conditioning.

My current marriage is quite ok. Our frequency is between once a month to once a week. My wife is conscious of her "wifely duties", plus she has a decent sex drive.

However, during a big fight recently, she revealed that she recently don't feel like making love to me anymore and can't bare to perform her "wifely duties". Reason is that she didn't feel loved.

We talked through it and I have been making more effort to "speak her love language" and the effect is almost instantaneous and sex life is back to normal. For those unfamiliar with "love language", please go and check out "5 Love Languages" By Gary Chapman. It might sound like mumbo jumbo, but seriously its the simplest concept ever, and it actually make sense to most people, unlike some of the other books out there. Not that easy to practice, but doable.

You can Google about it, but I strongly recommend reading the book. Get it at the libraries or buy one. It is probably less then $25 these days and not very thick, but full of value.

As many people say, women must feel loved to have sex, men must have sex to feel loved.

To be fair, my wife and I are both aware of love languages and we try to practice it. Sometimes we get complacent, but its not hard to get back on the bike. For some it will require more work.