[kiasusam]

She didn’t let me finish. “How could he do that to you, to the kids? How could he condemn you to that life?”

I sighed, momentarily thankful that I’d never mentioned my crazy plan to condemn her to that life. “What choice did he have, Ash? Watch us die? You know Teren. He’s not capable of just sitting there and watching that, not without trying to help me. Not after everything we’ve been through.” I said that last part quietly and heard my sister sniffle at the memory.

She was silent a moment more and then sighed. “I know. I’m not angry…at him. I guess, I just wish that hadn’t happened. I mean, what happens to you now?”

Even though she couldn’t see it, I shrugged. “We don’t know. I’m still mostly human right now, like Teren used to be.” I paused, considering that. “Actually, I seem to be exactly like Teren was, back when he was alive.”

She brightened and I could hear her smile through the phone. “Oh, well that’s not so bad. You’ll just have to hide the fangs and not suck on any cows around people.” She laughed and I heard the rustle of her sitting, her heart started calming too.

I closed my eyes for a moment. Part of me wanted to let her keep her fantasy version of my life, the one where everything about me, pretty much stayed the same, and a part of me didn’t want to hold back the awful truth of what I was really facing. Eventually, that part won out. “Ashley, it’s not that simple.”

She stopped laughing. “What do you mean?”

I sighed, hating that I had to cause another person I loved worry. Imogen upstairs offered kind words of encouragement. Alanna told me she loved me. I closed my eyes and prepared to jolt my sister’s world, again. “Do you remember all of what Teren went through, how his human body couldn’t handle the strain of being mixed…?” I let my voice trail off, hoping my sister understood what I was getting at. I didn’t want to have to say it.

She gasped and I heard her heart miss a beat. “You’re going to die?” Her voice hitched as she whispered that. I was about to tell her everything would be fine, when she repeated louder, “You’re going to die!”

Tears were on my cheeks now as I listened to my sister start to cry. “Ash…don’t cry. It will be fine. I’ll come back, just like Teren.” I really didn’t know if that would happen, but I couldn’t leave my sister without any hope. I just couldn’t do that. She needed to know the truth, but in the broadest sense of the term. She didn’t need to worry about the details. There were enough of us worrying already.

My sister saw right to the problem though. “What about the babies? What if you die before they’re ready?”

A sob escaped me at that. “I don’t know…we just don’t know.” I sobbed into the phone as Ash sobbed into her end. Suddenly wishing I could hold my sister as we cried, the library door swished open and Alanna scooped me into her cool embrace. I hugged her back, still clutching the phone to my ear. Alanna whispered that everything would be fine, that none of them would stop looking for an answer, and I relayed the sentiment to my sister.

With sighs and hiccups and a promise to not let Mom know anything was wrong with me, aside from the doctor ordered bed rest, we said our goodbyes. I clicked off the phone and continued to hold Alanna, grateful for the cool woman’s comfort. She stroked my back soothingly and kissed my head. Then she confessed that Imogen and Halina had spent all last night, pouring over the madman’s journals.

I pulled back and blinked away tears. “They did?” Hope filled me that maybe they’d found an answer already.

Alanna sighed and brushed aside a lock of my hair. “Yes. Grandma has looked through it before, but not with the same…intent.” She raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded. No, things were much different now. Things were much more serious. Alanna nodded as she watched me, then she frowned. “They haven’t found any leads yet.” I frowned as well and Alanna brought a palm to my cheek. “We won’t stop looking. We’ll find something.”

I nodded and looked down as Alanna kissed my forehead again. When she left the room, I continued on with my difficult phone calls.

My mother was next and just as I’d suspected, she wanted to spend every long, boring moment sitting in a chair beside my bed here at the ranch. I told her over and over that Imogen and Alanna had experience being midwifes, having helped their older sisters deliver children (also part of the cover story) and they had the free time to wait on me. My mother had a 9-5 job and bills to pay. She couldn’t just drop everything for me. She protested, vehemently, and then I asked if she could help us out by watching Spike. That gave her pause. I told her the girls here were allergic to dogs (since I couldn’t tell her that Halina had a sweet tooth for them. Not that she would do that to Teren, but no need to tease her with him being under foot all of the time) and it would really help if we knew he was being taken care of.

After long pauses and exaggerated sighs, she finally agreed to take him. Honestly, with Ashley moved out, I think my mom was getting lonely. While she was worried about me, I think my news had just made her day. After more details on the accident, which I had to have Alanna fill me in on before I could tell her (and they mainly involved us getting rear ended, nothing too dramatic, but enough to jumpstart Labour), and my mom asking if I’d been hurt, (I told her my neck hurt a bit, which was true), we finally said our goodbyes, Mom assuring me that she’d be up often, especially the closer I got to the births.