[QUOTE=CuteDragon79;21085790]
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11
Question for you. Sorry if i didnt pick out if you mentioned it before in your long story.
Hi Bro Fallen,
I wasn't really expecting to get married so soon when I started meeting VBs. I mentioned that I chatted with more than 40 VBs (Although much much lesser than the senior bros here) and flew to Vietnam to meet 2 other VBs before I met my BX.
My BX, being age 22 from the province, was considered getting "old" for marriage there. Her mindset is different from other VBs in the cities where the average age for marriage is about 27. Both she and her family also don't want to waste too much time on "waiting". She ever waited 1 year with a Korean BF and 2 years with another SG BF. They didn't fulfill their promise of marriage and my BX waited in vain. We both felt it's a good match for the both of us and therefore we proceeded. My MIL requested to register our marriage in Vietnam was because she wanted to see if I'm really sincere about marrying my BX.
The seniors had already mentioned things like how pampered, how spolit, and how demanding our SG gals are especially in BGR and marriage. First ex-wife was all about me giving in to her till I gave up. Got to do most of the house-chores, peel prawns for her etc. Didn't consummate our marriage and therefore able to get annulment. No matter how much they earn from their income, I got to foot most, if not all of the bills.
I didn't get a flat with my second ex-wife because she said even though she earned more than me, she expected me to pay 70% for the flat! Give her allowance and give her part of my yearly bonuses also will complain this and complain that. Pardon me this MOUNTAIN TORTOISE, all along I was "brought up" into the society believing in "fairness" and I was expecting 50% as my duty as a Husband especially in SG. Practically, she is "The Boss" in the marriage. Go overseas holiday also bring parents-in-law and stay together in 1 suite. The SG gals want at least or more than 50% authority in the family but the guy has to pay for most of the expenses, if not all. With her job vs my job, I Zzzz by 10pm daily by the time she returns home. Intimacy rate is like once a year. Either she said tired or have the mindset, "Don't think I can just want it as and when just because got give her $$$ etc) Definitely I CANNOT tolerate anymore in that marriage!
So if I'm gonna "pay", then might as well make it 100% and I call the shots.
I figured out a 1-income family can still be very blissful e.g 3-room flat, average income, take public transport (Also mentioned in earlier posts about happiness and satisfaction level by Bro SingViet and a few other Bros) and therefore went onto this path. Good points about VBs mentioned in earlier posts, can cook, can take care of family, let the man be the "Head" of the house etc. I lived to an age to finally know that having a VB housewife is much better than having a SG career woman. My BX cooks for me, hand-wash my clothes for me, iron my clothes for me and takes good care of me etc. I appreciate her a lot.
Hope these answer your questions =)
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Were any of your past 2 marriages with a foreign woman? Or both locals?
Have to warn you that marrying a foreign woman has a different set of problems and you have to prepare to meet these challenges. Not just marry like that and expect happy ending. Sorry i think you know by now that fairytales dont exist in real life. Not that i'm discouraging you to marry a foreigner. I would too. There are some things you should do or try before sealing the marriage.
1. Where would the both of you going to live after marriage? Here or vietnam? (rest of the questions assume she lives here)
2. Has she lived here before? Visited here how many times?
3. Does she has any friends / relatives here?
4. Have you tried putting her in a stressful uncertain scenario and see how she acts? Have you travelled with her to a new country before and see how she acts? I would recommend you to do that. Go 1-2 weeks to a country which both of you have never been before. Many of them can act differently, signalling 1 big red flag you have to watch out for. Its easy to stay calm and loving in stable daily life.
For questions 1 - 3: Many marriages with foreign women tend to end up with the woman fleeing back to her country alone due to "homesickness". Its her life here which turned out not to be something she want and expect. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine you live in another country, cant really speak their language well, can only get employment in hard & low income jobs, no friends, no family. Worse still as a housewife, everyday kept at home like a prisoner (think you can understand the feeling after going through lockdowns during covid). Its no surprise that many flee back to their hometown within a few years. How to live in another place without finding your own "life"? You can make efforts for her to find a new life here first before marrying. Everyone needs to somewhat have a own life. Marrying a wife is not the same as keeping a pet.
The social environment here can also very harsh. Is she ready for that? Its really another world here compared to her hometown. Stressful, money minded, toxic people, etc.
Chatted with 40 VBs doesnt count as anything. Only count the ones you met up with. out of the 40, 20 could be scams / call girls or worse not even female in real life. Another 10 could be chatting out of boredom. 5 more just wanting an easy life and not love.