Quote:
Originally Posted by ssd3469
.....My main issue for the past 34 years is I am unable to find a FIRST gf.
The thing is because some ML and my mum told me it's normal for single people to visit prostitute because no gf help them(but because of my values I kept rejecting that idea).
Btw bro condom does not protect everything, there is this thing called "crabs" which is lices on pubic hair, thus condom doesn't protect as condom does not cover pubic hair.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ssd3469
I personally found it very hard to accept FWB or even ML and prostitute due to the conservative values I grew up with. I don't have a job now yet, probably starting next week, so can't claim from company now.
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I think I am very similar to you, super conservative and very traditional family and background
Until I find it very backward thinking at times
Grandparents will say things like girls are useless, once married is like water poured away
Or have to favour the Lai Sun first, rather than the Wa Sun
(think you will understand this if you had such traditional bringing up too)
My grandma on her deathbed said all the lands (in MY) and inheritance (money) can only go to the sons
My uncles got all the lands and money and became multi millionaires overnight
My mum and her sisters got nothing because they are useless girls who are not able to carry on the family name
The irony? My uncles were the youngest
My mum and her sisters were the ones who help bring up and take care of the uncles, went out to work first and kept sending money back home which my grandparents took and kept buying lands decades ago when land in MY were super cheap, but in the end the sons are the ones who took the lands, lands bought with money sent back home by the sisters and the sisters were left with nothing
Stories aside
Unable to find GF, keep your options open
I had my first GF in my mid-30s, so I may not be too far from you
Initially I kept telling myself, I must find a Chinese Hokkien, must either know how to speak or willing to learn how to speak Hokkien, must look presentable, must want to have a family, must not be divorced or a single mum
With so much conditions, I really couldn't find someone suitable
Until one day I finally cannot take it, I just want someone who can love me back and I went international too
My parents went ballistic, but I couldn't care less
From Singaporeans to Malaysians, but Chinese so still not that bad
Then to Thais, Vietnamese and finally Filipino
They were furious, but then I said, it is my gf, who could one day be my wife and my family
Either you accept or I be single forever, you choose
Being the only son, they eventually gave in as they need me to carry on the family name
I don't really know the real reason why you are still single
If you have preconditions, such as must be slim and pretty etc, it would limit your options on who you could hook up with
Eg. If you only look for slim girls, a lot of girls actually put on a lot of weight after giving birth
If you only look for pretty girls, looks will fade over time
Instead, find someone who can please you in bed, who is willing to bear you children and take care of them, someone you can get along with easily etc
Or else when slim becomes ba ba to plump or even fat, or chio becomes ugly, you may start to find life moving downhill
Keep your options open, don't restrict yourself too much, and you will definitely increase your chances of finding your other half
Normal or not, it is not for us or the ML or your mum to decide
Society may view things certain things as normal, but it is your life
Society at large do not endorse or encourage homosexuality, or other things such as it is not acceptable for guys to wear skirts and dresses etc
Your own personal sexual reference is yours alone, why should the society views on what is a normal relationship dictate your sexual life?
Men have been wearing skirts and dresses for many many centuries, so why is a guy being judged and viewed as a weirdo or lunatic if he wears skirts or dresses now?
If you want to visit prostitutes, it is entirely your own personal choice regardless of your relationship status
Why care about what is society norm view?
Btw, from what I know, crabs is not STD, but STI
Sexually transmitted infection
Condoms do not protect against everything, yes
Not even pregnancy, let alone STDs and STIs
But by using it correctly, it will help reduce the chances of getting certain STDs and STIs by a huge percentage, statistically speaking
Herpes, syphilis and crabs are some which can be spread by touch alone, rendering condoms useless
But still, it is always best to use condoms and then pray hard
Finally, views do change over time
Men in skirts and dresses is one of them
Homosexuality will soon be the next, with Taiwan already became the first Asian country to recognise same sex marriages
My parents violent objections to finally accepting me having 1 wife after another, both of which are not of ethnic Chinese descent
You may find it hard to accept FWB, ML or prostitutes now, but who knows, your views may also change as time passes