[DonCJ]

Back to BDSM.

The professional/lifestyler thing is a phony distinction trumped up in USA and mostly on Internet there. Some sois-dissant lifestylers look down on professional Dommes as crypto-prostitutes, while many pro DOmmes regard lifestylers askance as dowdy suburban poseurs. You will not find a lot of agreement about what it takes to BE a lifestyler. Does anyone really think that a couple in a long term relationship have to live their D/s or BDSM lifestyle all the time? That is ridiculous.

Likewise the meaning of "professional" is as fuzzy in the Scene as it is in prostitution. Some pro Dommes operate out of their apartments or homes or hotel rooms. Some have their dungeon built into what was once their garage. Some have little equipment. little wardrobe and little experience. In short all pro Dommes are NOT created equal.

The "doing it only for the money" bit is also bogus. To do pro femdom justice requires equipment, wardrobe, training and experience. That means a significant front end investment. Some one out to make a fast buck will balk at that.

I can assure you that if the Domme is going through the motions just for the fee, the sub WILL know it and the session will fail. For the Domme to enjoy the Scene, enjoy what she is doing, is a sine qua non for success. Dommes who do not enjoy their "work" will not be popular and will not last long. You can take that to the bank.

ydgduo's emphasis on the necessity for a Domme being a raving beauty is ill considered and reflects the fact that he has little or no real Scene experience. Looks are secondary, even tertiary considerations. Sill and experience matter and so does the enjoyment of the Domme.

Compare the situation to sex with a prostitute. The best prostitutes may not actually enjoy the sex with a john, but they know how to make him THINK they do. They are accomplished actresses. As well as skilled bedpartners.

Conversely a whore who is obviously just a sack of cold jello and who keeps checking the time and can't wait to be elsewhere, is a bad lay. You might as well have saved your money and jerked off.

Well, I know of know pro Dommes who are good actresses. You really can tell if they are having a good time, or not. And it really does make or break the experience for you. If a Domme is skilled and enjoys what she does, she will be worth every penny of her fee.

And that is the truth of the matter.

At CJ we enjoy a large worldwide following and a 75% repeat rate because our Dommes DO enjoy what they do and our subs have a great time. I guess we will have to struggle on without ydgduo's patronage.