[justime]

Originally Posted by warbird

I do hv a question. It's a given that the gals u BY will not fxxk other men. Do u simply trust them or trust them but verify? If u verify, how far would u go? Would u get them accommodation w/ surveillance cameras very close to where u reside? Would u hv spies around the promises n at places where they work? Would u hire PI to follow them?

Hi Bro Warbird, just got back last nite. After BKK, went directly to Down Under for a fair bit of negotiation. Not much shagging there save some snogging session with an old ex gal friend there. “Old” is the operative word, she was a classmate of mine! See I can go beyond SYT if necessary!

(My personal credo – which is probably different from yours: As long as you look good, age is no issue …. Hsu Qi is in her thirties for example! )

Frankly, I can appreciate why there is the perception of “Trust but verify”. This “Reaganesque” view is due in part because:

1) We know that at the back of our mind our hold on our BY is tenuous at best. Another rich prospect come along and with a better financial offer, she flits away. There is perception (correctly I might add) that for a PRC mei, loyalty to a patron is foolish. They see you only as means to an end.

2) We are not confident that our ‘emotional hold’ on her is strong enough to withstand assault from competing Johns. Like it or not, if our prospect are aesthetically pleasing (which they invariably have to be in order to be BY by us), there will be other bees competing to pollinate her flower. We don’t want to see our efforts & money thrown in ‘courting’ her go to waste, especially if we are not done with her yet!

Okay, let me put it thus: the problem of verifying and surveillance occurs only when we are not "done" with our mistress for the present moment. We still want our sexual dalliances with her to go on for a while yet.

(If we are verge of letting her go, we can hardly be bothered. In fact, we encourage duplicitous behaviour because this can be our pretext of dumping her.)

Now I can empathize why such thoughts of verification emanate. I used to hold such notions too. For me however, no surveillance camera etc .. but I did engage PIs to trail my BYs. This is however during my earlier, nascent days of mistressing.

I hardly do so anymore. I can, by now, read very easily the verbal and non verbal cues when my BY lies. Be in this game for a while, it becomes so very easy to tell.

Now the prevailing atttidue is: Even if she does lie, I am not bothered. Since I want her to be at my beck & call, she simply has to be there whenever I need her. In other words, as long she meets my time / scheduling demands, I am alright with it.

As a check, if she happens to go out with her friends which coincides with the time I want her company; I simply say I want to join her & see the company she keeps. Do it randomly, without advance warning. Any excuse by her to say it private/personal matter etc does not cut it.

(If you are in the game long enough, you will also hear the following line a lot of times: “No need to pick me. Don’t inconvenient or trouble you, why don’t you rest, you must be tired. – sometimes a little sexual tease accompanies this display of 'care and concern' such as resting to conserve energy in order for wild sex session later).

Remember an earlier advice on not throwing a hissy fit should you discover her little ‘unfaithful’ dalliances. Remain calm at all times and use this to your advantage: such as when she heretofore does not want to swallow cum, use this pretext and moment to make her do your whims. This is turning an unpleasant situation to your advantage.

And to assuage some curiosity, let me tell you that out of the several times I engaged a PI to investigate my mistresses’ activities, there are no hotel visits or secret tryst of the sexual kind. They are mostly normal “dates” & sometimes a little light snogging and hand holding session. (Note: as far as a BY is concern, they know that they have crossed the line even with that).

I used to get extremely emotional when that happens. But now, I simply calmly assess what whether I want to continue with her.

a) If I do not want to continue the transaction – yes it is a transaction! - I will dump her outright. I will throw out all her things from the Love Nest (if need be) without a word being spoken.

b) If I decide that there is still some value – some women can be so aesthetically pleasing with the requisite skilful love wayangs that is so not easily replaceable at short notice (much like C. Ronaldo), I will use it to my advantage – mostly carnal. Whatever the case, the writing is on the wall on this one as her value in my eyes will plummet. (Now you know why having options & choice is a good thing!)

And finally, the most important thing is do NOT obsess over the ‘being faithful’ aspect of the relationship. This can be an Achilles heel to you. If you cannot let go of this, your obsession with your BY not keeping her end of the bargain can get to you.

Remember that when you put in emotions & constantly thinking her (even in the context of something unpleasant such as her being unfaithful), it empowers her vis-a-vis yourself. You will find it harder to let go without some ‘emotional damage’ unto yourself.

A detached nonchalance attitude is the best bet! And since I adopt this detached nonchalance attitude several years back, there hasn’t been a single instance of my BY (or even a gf) calling it quits on me because of a better prospect …. It has always been me to call on the shots on whether I want to continue on the transaction/relationship.