Quote:
Originally Posted by adviseme
Hi oralcraz
I am trying very hard to shield my son from what we are going through. I cant control the tears very well and I am ashamed of the extent of the damage.
even when son ask "why is daddy always not home" - i would tell him "daddy works hard so that we can buy such and such etc".
so i really dont know how to enlist my son in my fight.
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Yes, honestly, sincerely, I can understand. Is painful and hurting if your son get involve especially he is so young, innocent and don't even really understand. However, yr situation seems like "no turning back" and you seems very determine to keep the family intact. What I'm trying to put across is that hopefully, yr husband
LOVE for the son (as a last resort) can turn the situation around for you. The main concern for you is to hold him back ..... for as long as it can be. What comes next, how you want to manage the relationship, how you want to change and start afresh with him or how is he going to react is another issue.
I mentioned again, my son was six when I almost divorce my wife. Just can't take it anymore. I was like going to work with "eye bag" and "like to stay away from home as much as possible." However, even when I was having a fling, my heart and mind is still thinking about home ... my son. I did not grow up in a happy family and I was determine not to let my children grow up like what I've gone thru. It was this
love for my son that woke me up. I began to calm myself and have a good thought. I began to priorities myself and be more practical and objective. Finally, I decided to "see more open", bite the bullet and stay on. Today, is already coming to 19 yrs on my marriage ....., I can say that I did not regret. My wife relationship and me is not fantastic, but manageable, even though sex is not on our agenda.
Well hopefully you hubby is reading this, hi adviseme hubby, think again carefully, I believe you have a thoughtful and understanding wife. Family priorities always come first. There is no perfect match ... only if we want to match it. I have a few divorced friends who re-marry. They are not really that happy after all. Worse, still have to take care of two family.
Take care.