Quote:
Originally Posted by hickeybites
reading this thread & felt some degree of shame...because i used to be one of those "i'm-tired-tonight-honey" wives.
just to lend some perspective from "the other side"... my past inertia was definitely not cos i didn't like sex or our kid became more important or i didn't find my hubby attractive anymore.
after giving birth, i just felt so unattractive & there was so much pressure (both external & internal) to be a good mum & wife & career woman...with the stress of all that roles-juggling gone, my libido just took off  ! |
In the 1st place, nature didn't make male and female equal. Why only the females can get pregnant / bear babies? Why only the females have milk in their breasts after childbirth, can breast-feed? Although I don't know the purpose of men's nipples.
It is all thanks to the over-blown mentality about equality of the sexes from the west / US, and SGPeans tend to love to imitate things / trends from the west / US, and to a certain extent, SGPeans tend to carry things to the extreme.
In all factories, there will always be some exceptions, ie, defective products, that comes out of the manufacturing lines, regardless of how good the Quality Control is. Similarly, most human / living beings are similar / typical, but there are also some exceptions. As said, it is exception, and exceptions are the minority, otherwise, why are they called exception? Back to SGPeans, many SGPeans, especially females, think they are exceptions, they are equally competent as the men, if not even more competent / capable. So SG females want to be career women, want to be the perfect woman (wife, Mum, daughter, daughter-in-law) at home. Be realistic, how many things / people are perfect in this world (that's why I say SGPeans tend to be extreme)?
Take a step backwards, do you think this demand or aim is realistic? Yes, it can be achieved, but everything has a price. Maybe on the outside, you may have a perfect, happy family, you do well in your career. But deep inside, nobody knows better than you, the struggle in the office / corporate, and balance family life (as a Mum, as a wife, as a daughter to your parents, as a DIL to your husband's parents, etc), and this is walking a tight rope and highly stressful. Once the rope snaps, that's it.
The feminist groups from the west / US says that MCP is degrading women, takes away dignity of women. Just because of a few successful women (exceptions), they say that women are equally competent as men in the working society, if not better, and at the same time, can still bear children and be good mothers. Look, if women are equally competent, why don't more women work as construction / renovation workers, or those labour intensive occupations? Sitting in the air-con office, of course everyone can!
Nature didn't make men and women equal in the 1st place! Even replacing a faulty lamp on the ceiling, fixing a loose screw, hammering the nail, the men are born to be better. Similarly, sewing, cooking, minute details, the women are born to be better. Each has his / her own strengths and weaknesses. By stressing to be equal, that person is simply mixing everything up, not capitalising on the strength, and magnifying the weakness all at the same time!
Many ang mohs have this concept in the bigger picture:
Whoever brings home the bigger piece of bread, whoever has the bigger say. I had colleagues who paid for everything, accomodation, meals, expenses, etc. So he demands his gf (also ang moh) to do the housework, cooking, etc. Other female colleagues said, "Shame on you, to think that you are from US, and you are still so MCP." His reply was, "but I'm paying for everyting, accomodation, food, expenses, and she is not working at all !"
The other more independant females work / make their own living, they really contribute half the share of the expenses, and they said, they don't want to depend on the men, they want to have equal say as the men, so they contribute exactly half the expenses. If they contribute any lesser, that means their men contribute more, than their man should have more say.
That said, I feel they are really more democratic in this sense, disregarding the natural advantage / disadvantage of their gender. And it's up to the individuals to choose, whether they allow the men to have more say, rule over them, MCP, etc, or they have equal say. While SGPeans, especially females, likes to take those words out of context.
End of the day, as long as everyone is happy and nobody gets hurt, who are we to say anything? 一个愿打，一个愿挨