I think that when 2 person of different culture and background come together, there will be a time when we have to adapt to each other, endure and pull thru the difficult times. After that period of time, the couple will get used to each other, trust each other more and enjoy family life. My first few years with my wife was a period of getting used to. Their culture, their way of doing things are all so different from us. The worst being i was staying in Vietnam and often i felt i was being `bullied' by my wife and her family. That's why i flew back to Singapore every 10 to 12 days there. I'm so often at the airport till i knew the airport and airline staff quite well. Back in Singapore for a few days, i will feel relax and energised. After that, i will fly back to Vietnam to `face the challenge'. But i never gave up, i always explained to my wife about the different things in Singapore, our thinking etc. I also explained to her about the chinese culture and our beliefs and how we are different from the vietnamese. I log on the internet daily to show my wife Singapore news, explained to her how these things happened. In simple words, lots of communication.
Year 2005, i brought my wife back to Singapore for 6 months. We stayed with my parents. But my wife was not quite used to staying with my parents. After 6 months, we shifted back to Vietnam. Life in Vietnam is nice, not much stress and good. But seeing my kids only learning tieng viet, i felt worried. I do not want my kids to grow up like the normal vietnamese. I am Singaporean, my children should be receiving good quality bilingual education. I went to the Singapore International School in Saigon and was quite shocked by their fees. Mid year 2007, i brought my whole family back to Singapore. I told my wife that we need to be concerned about my children's education. Business there can be handed by staff and frequent flying over. My children came back and i sent them to play grp and after some time, i see them making progress, speaking more english and mandarin, i felt relieved . I am happy with my wife and family, we spend time together daily and i have also learnt to `CLOSE ONE EYE' . I know my wife is still worried that her parents may not have enough money to spend, but i know she cares more for our own family. She knows well that she cannot keep helping her lazy siblings who refused to work and stay home to `shake leg'.
My own experiences tell me that the initial few years of marriage is about adapting to each other and enduring. If a couple can overcome that period of time and understand each other more, then the marriage will go on. Communication is very important.
