Quote:
Originally Posted by deptrai4u
About this issue of marrying Vietnamese girls... recently i encountered a few good looking young singapore men wanting to marry Vietnamese girls and wants to do it quickly...
The big question is really this... IS THERE REALLY A NEED TO?
Most of the time, i see that it is the guy who wants to go ROM without realising that ROM means Registry Of Mistakes. Where the Viet girls concern, even if they care, we can always give them a deal where we go customary first and the rest later.. take it or leave it. And most of them will just go with it, at least that is my personal experience.
Singapore men please be fully aware that the moment u put the pen to paper, u are on the losing end immediately... nothing to gain out of it. Unless the girl insist on that and no other way out and u can live without air but cannot live without her, then u agree to it. If not, then always go on probation first... how long.... well, 3 years at least! That is the time needed for u to learn about them and open ur eyes big big and see the real them.
And if anything goes wrong, dun be too fast to put the blame on them. More than half the time, the blame is on the GUY. And usually the issue is that the guy did not make an effort to learn about their culture and instead expect the girl to adjust to Singapore lifestyle. Let me just say that it is a lot better and easier for everyone if the Singapore guy adjust to them.
Seniors, ur views pls.
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I will deem that the viet gers will not agree to customary marriage , most of the time. The viet gers are very much interested to stay abroad and also just as important, to get at least PR in Singapore. This situation is made worse with Singapore man agreeing to whatever they say after endless intercourse with them before the ROM. The idea on Singapore man's minds is it will be heavens if they can have sex like this everyday, without paying a cent for it, unlike commercial sex.
i hold different views in singapore man having to adapt to vietnamese ways of doing things. If after marriage, the couple is planning to stay in Singapore, then it will be best if the singapore man can guide their viet spouse to adapt to Singapore ways of doing things. i.e. Singapore culture. At the same time, the singapore man can delight the vietnamese spouse by learning their culture at the same time. But if the couple is planning to stay in Vietnam after marriage, then the Singapore man need to adapt to the viet culture, but don't forget to educate your viet spouse on singapore culture at the same time. Its a give and take situation. At the same time, don't always give in to your spouse's request to return to vietnam for the slightest reason. By allowing her to return to vietnam very often, you are sowing the seeds of disaster. If she has married you and is staying in Singapore, she should be making the effort and taking the time to adapt to Singapore. By returning to vietnam very often, she is showing her unwillingness to adapt and you are also exposing her to the high risk of her getting hitch to her former viet bf in vietnam. Show patience, guide her and communicate with her. Show her the interesting part of singapore culture, the tastiness of Singapore food etc.
One thing that Singapore man have to learn is not to `talk big' and `hide truth' infront of their viet spouse. You know your viet wife is hoping that she can get PR and you are not earning enuff to support her for that, tell her truthfully. Don't lie to her saying she will only get PR after giving birth to a child as singapore needs childdren. After giving birth to a child and she still kanna rejected for PR, she will feel that she's cheated by you. Show her you can take care of you and her and also your young kid. Show her you are making effort to make a living. Don't be lazy. Its the learning of ``TRUTH' after some time that led to the viet lady getting disappointed and leaving the Singapore man for good.
The marriage of 2 person of different culture needs patience to adapt, needs love to comfort and needs honesty and tolerance to maintain.
