its Sharing Time......
The 20s and 30s
Even in their 20s and 30s, a lot of women have difficulty reaching that elusive orgasm.
These days, most sex therapists believe that if you can't climax (or don't climax easily), it's a good idea to start by practising on your own.
This may seem obvious, but many women, even today, feel inhibited about self-love and can't help feeling that it isn't something they should be doing.
But
masturbating helps you to learn exactly which pressures and rhythms you need in order to bring you to orgasm. So, it can be really useful.
You may also find it helpful to watch some sort of sex-education DVD, such as Betty Dodson's Selfloving.
Once you have learned to climax easily on your own, you can then show your partner exactly what you need in order to make you come.
Of course, this may feel embarrassing at first. But the first step in fulfilment with a partner is to communicate your feelings to him or her and also to communicate how you like your body to be touched.
When you can't find the words, use caresses. But also try to build up a vocabulary with your partner that's easy to use. A lot of couples find their sex lives fail simply because they don't have the right language. And saying: 'Could you rub my ...er ...er?' isn't specific enough to be helpful.
Some women, incidentally, find achieving orgasm much easier with the help of a vibrator. And nowadays there are several excellent online mail order businesses, run by women for women, which sell good quality sex aids that really work.
They also sell lingerie, erotic literature and lubrication. They are equally helpful to gay and heterosexual women.
jz sharin,
