Quote:
Originally Posted by needtofuck
Hey Jim,
I have been reading through all these post and you have provided us with very sensible comments.
You said "Counsellor" numerous times, where, when and how ?
Any "good" ones to recommend ?
I like many of our bros here who are facing issues with the MRS at home, they dont respect us  , no sex, no this and no that.....I am desperate to fix my marriage or more like whats left of it.
I have two very lovely daughters which I have not intention of breaking their hearts.
Thank you.  |
Bro Needtofuck!
Good nick, ha, ha!
Here is what you need:
http://app1.mcys.gov.sg/Policies/Mar...unselling.aspx
There is a 1800 number to get the one nearest you. You can also go here:
http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/serv_newd...?Services_Id=2
Click on the one nearest you and email them.
Be polite, sincere and direct, don't beat around the bush. This is serious stuff and MCYS wants to keep your family together so they take it very seriously. I emailed them when I was at the end of my tether and they responded within an hour. You then fix a time for an appointment and you go alone the first time.
After you do, talk to your wife about it....be warned, it will SHOCK HER! So, if you see the counsellor Monday, Monday evening you talk to your wife and pre-discuss with the counsellor to call her Tuesday. When you do talk to your wife, you have to get something out in the open immediately:
"Do you want to stay married to me?".
If she says no, which lets face it, is a possibility, there is nothing more to discuss. If she says yes, then you move forward. Like I've said before, both of you must want to stay married, if one of your doesn't, its over. It takes two hands to clap. Except it for what it is, be an adult.
Regardless, the counsellor will call her Tuesday and she will make an appointment to see the counsellor. Remember, the family court will force you into counselling anyway so you might as well go now.
Now, you need to brace yourself for what comes next. You will meet the counsellor together and these meetings can be somewhat uncomfortable for both of you because the counsellor doesn't do much except ask you both questions and get you talking to each other. Your wife is going to tell you many things that you do that PISS HER OFF!. This is not a one way street lah. We all know what pisses you off about her, no sex. But at least this stuff gets out in the open. After that, you need to make a plan and this is what guys are good at. LADIES, LISTEN PLEASE:
Men look at problems, think of a solution and fix the problem. This is how a man's brain works, its our "id", this is us. Women, like to endlessly talk about problems.....men don't. A man sees something wrong and wants to fix it. So, the counsellor will get you both to work out a plan on what you BOTH need to do to get the relationship back to where it needs to be. Look, if you're not talking to each other its unlikely you'll be fucking, right?
DON'T ARGUE, listen. She's going to tell you all the shit that you do that dries her pussy up. And there is going to be lots, women are like that and she's had it bottled up for a while. Be prepared.
What bugs you about her? no sex......men are pretty simple, eh? Ha, ha!
Bro, go and do it, you'll feel better, Right now this is killing you inside. No married man should have to live like a Monk.
Move forward, its uncharted territory but its better than where you are now.
Cheers,
jim