Quote:
Originally Posted by ferragamo
I am glad I started this thread. Due to the sharing from many people, I have seen that I am not alone in this problem.
And bringing it out in the open, perhaps will wake up some wives to what is happening in their marriage.
Not all men fuck around because of need for variety , there are some of us that really really actually just want to have sex with our wife, not just poke in and out then watch tv, but sensual sex that both husband and wife enjoys.
The problems start when this disappears from the marriage
Jim has given some real world advice on marriage counselling, and this is very good.
I think marriage preparation courses should emphasize to the couple, especially the wife, that good sex is crucial in a marriage. Instead of only covering finances, kids, in-laws and religion.
It is also heartening to see other guys also say that they choose not to divorce because of their kids well being. I think this is very important. Kids are innocent, they never asked to be born.
Nowadays the young couples are too self centered and too easily say 'let's divorce', without thinking of the children. This is a cursed path that our society is heading down towards.
If this thread saves just one marriage, perhaps something good has come out of the rest of our suffering. Better than nothing.
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Dear Bro ferragamo,
It is heartening to see such thoughts coming from husbands like you & some other bros here. Your post prompted more thoughts from me... hope you guys don't mind my 2nd input here.
On a positive note, I like to believe that your wives do appreciate you but perhaps show/ demonstrate in other ways -- just not via the channels of physical intimacy or bedroom antics.
We all know the saying "Women marry men hoping they'll change. Men marry women hoping they
won't". Going back to the major grouse of this thread -- how did the lusty sex kitten that you men married become a dead fish? I'm
not saying that it's okay to be a dead fish (I think no female samsters would like to think we're dead fishes - irk!) but hoping & expecting your female partner to continuously possess the never-flagging appetite of a succubus, from her 20s all the way to her 50s -- that is quite tough especially after kids & body changes etc.
Plus: as parents, would you as fathers (or mothers) actually impart to your own daughters that being wild & slutty is important to keeping a marriage alive?
I know for sure that my own parents would freak out majorly if they know that I'm erm... "hungrier" now
.
Just saying that we do grow up with social norms & pre-conceived ideas that are rather hard to kick. It's kinda expected that being a good mother, a respectable wife holds precedence...
I'm
NOT saying that I or most women agree with this expectation. Just pointing out what society still expects as such (other than the world of sbf). Double-standards.. that's life.
Change is constant... and in this case, I guess we all hope that our partners would not change for the worse i.e. become dead fish especially since your wives had displayed a wild slutty side before. Just proposing perhaps
some management of expectations? Of course I fully support marital counselling or even sexual counselling... and exercise. Nothing like exercise of some form to get our juices going
Ending with an anecdote... some time back, a gf (obviously a current-low-sex-drive one) was grousing to me about similar topic. That her husband was demanding sex on tap i.e. at any time to drop trou and get it on. They have 2 kids and like most S'porean couples of today, bogged down with obligations, bills etc. Her complaint: "How can he expect me to still behave like a sex kitten & do it all over the place? The sex kitten in the past didn't have responsibilities, in-law issues, screaming kids ok???"
My tongue in cheek reply - "Don't be a sex kitten lor.
BE THE TIGRESS in the bed instead!" (That earned me a dirty glare
)