Kum Siah one and all for taking your time and effort to post your response. Much appreciated.
First of all, let me tell you my position so that you will understand where I am coming from.
1) First of all, you guys are persceptive and right to a certain extent about me being a "third party". But it is NOT to this specific case.
2) I have Viet FB (and she is married to a sinkie). My FB is now a Sinkie PR. She has no children and is married for nearly six years. It is unlikely that she will leave her husband - certainly not for me. I am uglier than her husband, more pock kai and probably worse off in bed!
3) Yes. I have entertained thoughts of making her my life partner - especially during times when me and my fiance (a sinkie) are facing trying times. But at the end of the day, we both realize that its just a convenient "arrangement" that will not lead to anything further.
4) But this "convenient" relationship brought about a unique perspective on the Viet-Sinkie life partner connection. I have read all 800 plus postings before and can really appreciate the points you guys are making.
Why? This is because my Viet FB introduced me to her Viet Social Circle. (What to do, lam theng only five minutes at most ... the stud that I am!
I am the only batang in the hen party social circle. Everyone in this circle is attached or interelated to a sinkie (and some Malaysians) somehow. And they do discuss the situation quite openly - plus FB update me gaps as she is very very gossipy.
Maybe I look so like an uncle (or even aunty) but they took me as their own. By "own" I mean as if like a Viet women. Now how macho is that!!!!!!!
Its only a pity that my TV is soooo crap - if not the amount of insider information I can provide is staggering.
5) As this informal support structure is very large - and getting larger by the day. I can see and weigh up the points you raise. I know about affairs, controlling husbands, useless husbands, how they supplement income (despite not being allowed to work as holding LTSVP), who is ex WL etc .... this is serious, but I even know at least five women's there menstral cycle! (And I don't even know my gfs)
6) The "case-study" I put in this thread is actually sanitised. If I were to put the full story, you guys may actually guess the couple involved as the community is relatively small. Gossip may just travel - especially if guys like to share stories with your significant others ......
In short .... despite having seen the warts of sinkie-viet coupling (and the many many challenges), I feel that in the heart of heart, that a life partnership viet mei mei is still considered option. In fact, I might go this route should my relationship with my present gf falter.
Take care bros ..