[hiretuja]

Dear brothers,

First off, pardon me if I post this thread in the wrong category. I was thinking here and 'Matters of the Heart' but I think its more appropriate here. If wrong, moderator please shift to the correct category.

You see brothers, I need advises/opinions. This is the most bottom times in my life. I do not want to ask advises from family or friends, because I do not want the opinions to be biased/double standard. I think its better to ask strangers because you guys do not know me well so wont be too judgmental. So here goes.

(this is as honest as it can be)

I am in mid 30s. In a 7 yrs of marriage with a beautiful daughter. A year or so ago, my family was introduced to a young beautiful girl by a relative (they are bf-gf )from my spouse's side. She was sweet, cheerful, girlish, all the good stuffs you could think of for a teenager. She used to stay over in our place, sometimes 3 -4 days never go home. My family and her became quite close. My relationship with her was mutual, we treated each other like Godbrother and sister, ya know what I mean.

Things change after the next 6 mths. The bf (relative of my spouse) became abusive (mentally, not physically). Bully her, taunt her, forced her to do things, etc etc. All in front of me and wife. So I began to felt sympathy for her, wanting to comfort her when her eyes turned red, but I know where I stood, and I stood firm.

So last November they broke up, and she began to move on, didnt come to our place anymore, just hi and bye messages thru FB. Last month it struck me suddenly to contact her and asked her doings. I thought it was all innocent..

When we contacted each other, I just wanted to ask her out and talk over drinks. But when we met, I felt this feeling that I have thought I had removed it forever in my heart. I began to fall for her.

Slowly, dates after dates after dates, I began to show my affection and care towards her, and she recipocrated by telling me she missed me la want to see me lar you know the sweet nothings. In the end I told her I have feelings for her, and she said she too have feelings for me but she didnt want to proceed more because Im married. And what see next shocked me.

"Baby, Im possessive and loyal. If I have feelings for you, Im sure I have it now, you have to divorce with your wife so that we can be together"

Now that coming out from a teenager, I did not know what to say, or do.

(Sidetrack a bit: For the record, I didnt marry my spouse out of love, but out of responsibility. Technically an arranged marriage. Cos I bombed her. Mum forced me to marry her, so bo pian. I was out of love since 2001 when the gf i loved most left me, so no more after that, not even my spouse, until now )

We continued datings. We even had sex. I was cock sure she was in love with me, with wat she said and did to me.

And because my relationship with my wife was already on cracks and hard to be fixed, I divorced my wife.

As she was still young and sweet and hot, naturally she had lots of contacts from boys. But lately this particular guy had been calling her, SMSing her and messaging her in FB. I was suspicious. Cos the way she talked to him, trying to say something but can't because I was there. I asked her if she was seeing someone or in a relationship with someone, she denied and die die say Im the only one in her heart.

Until 1 day I cannot tahan I logged into her FB (she used to tell me the pwd, I nvr logged in out of respect)

I thought my heart stopped.

A guy had been contacting her. All the sweet nothings and the sweet names she called me, she said it to the guy too.
She met him without my knowledge. And I dunt even know when she met with him cos almost every day I was with her.
In the message she said she cried because she missed him too much.

In the end I confronted her. And she finally admitted she was in love with this guy and this guy was in love with her and they were going to be an item.

But she said to me to keep my heart open and wait for her if I really love her, in case she and the guy cannot be together.

I was devastated.

1. What shall I do now? Should I move on? Or should I wait?
2. Is it my fault for having high hopes on her? I was god damn pissed because indirectly I felt she was the catalyst that made me divorced my wife.

I need advise. Please.