Quote:
Originally Posted by Wizard123
Married =17 years
2 boys. = 15 n 9
Last sex with wife = maybe 2008
Reason =physical =find her fat, volunteer to walk with her, but she just want to watch TV or play iPhone games
Emotional = piss with her as she refuse to do even a Part time job to help the family budget.
= letting the kids have free play of the computer games thus resulting in poor grade and absentee from school. Her solution is to get tuition teacher thus increasing my burden..have ever use the soft approach to explain to her that the kids need to finish their home work before they can play computer. And sleep by 10 pm to have proper rest before school. Fuck, all has turn to deaf ear..
Present situation.. I am tired n stress from my rotating shift..if I discipline my kids on the computer always result in me getting angry..
I am thinking of moving to my empty room, ignored her completely , cut her expense get a PRC get fren even I know the relationship is fake n base on money..
I need to have my rest n happiness.. Not a fucking ATM machine for the family..
Tired n stress
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My god, we're clones... I face the exact problem with my ex-wife for years before my divorce. It was extremely bad.... just like you've described, just that mine have a extremely bad temper and would call me continuously in my office when i work late, and quarrel with me daily for small little things.... mine went on a diet to get slim but immediately after ROM, ate like a pig and became a balloon.... and even went host bars to feed gigolos....
NOW, here's the reality!
YOU HAVE TWO KIDS! They need a dad!
If your wife is like this now, she is never going to be a good mother.
Singapore protects women and regardless of what you read on the internet, children goes to mother unless special circumstances (violence, etc..)... you can pay any lawyers $250-$400 and they'll tell you the same thing.
From my experience, I DIVORCED my ex-wife and although i could get back everything, i gave it to my kid but she totally didn't give a damn about the child pyschological upbringing and simply wanted custody to get the flat, and more money and claimed she wants to give the child a better life... she would rather drag the divorce hoping for more money while I tried to give as much to make sure the child grow up properly... she didn't know that the longer a divorce drag, the more suffering for the kid, and the family members around us, she just don't care...
I totally regretted my decision as i am sorry for my kid and it's all my fault. I should have just tolerated and ignored her for the rest of my life (let her waste her life till she rest in the coffin) and put all my attention on my child.
Save your marriage, tell her straight in the face she is FAT. You've enough of her nonsense, and everything you didn't like about her. That's phase 1, being frank does help. If that didn't work, type "save marriage singapore" there are lots of help out there. Counselling did more harm than good for me as my ex-wife is totally about herself, and care nothing about saving the marriage. The only method of saving the marriage was for me to commit to all her demands.
So, good luck to yours....
Think of your kids.
If you get a gf, and she engages a PI to get reports of you (other proof don't work in court) having sexual relationship with her, she can divorce you on adultery grounds, take everything from you.
If you initiate a divorce based on what you've described above, you can divorce her immediately based on unreasonable behaviour (no separation period), but she can put up a fight and drag about 6mths.... so you need to have some proof... check with your lawyers. Divorcing this way, court has a norms for couples to split assets, 17years marriage, you get 30%, she gets 70%.. around that region... and if you're financially supporting her now, that will continue in the form of maintenance after divorce...(I don't want to advice you how to overcome this as it's very bad stuff, check with lawyers)
If all attempts to save the marriage fails, MY ADVICE IS... SUCK IT UP for the sake of the kids.... don't let them fall into the hands of your ex-wife if she's really that bad .....just ignore her, have fun outside, you can sleep around, screw around to relieve yourself, but do not start a extramartial relationship to put yourself at a disadvantage. Go home, ignore her, put all your attention on your kids, love your kids, and just wait for your wife to kick the bucket in years to come..... at any point in time if your wife wakes up and realise how bad she is, give her a chance to repent....
BUT before, anything, look yourself in the mirror and ask have you been a good husband and daddy..... I did that for a week, before i started saving the marriage previously (even though i failed eventually), so that i know what's my baseline....