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Originally Posted by tornbitwin2
Something happened... GF and I exchanged SMS again, ended up talking over the phone. Eventually ended up crying to each other. She didn't ask me to get back to her,I didn't commit to anything too. Oh god, why am I so f@(?ing weak!!!!
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Been there, done that. Because you miss the passion, the sex, the once-in-a-lifetime connection, understanding, devotion to you (despite having a child of her own), etc. Because all the fights, bad times, etc, cannot overshadow the good times you both had. Because your wife will never be her.
It's ok. We're all human. You slipped back one step. Just pick yourself up and move forward on your path with wife and daughter.
One thing I learnt is to ignore all contact from her. If you stop replying to her, she will eventually give up trying to contact you.
- Set your phone to block/redirect her number so it never rings. You won't be forced to make a quick decision to pick up a ringing phone... which usually we end making a bad decision. If it lists as miss call, you have time to think and then ignore.
- Block her SMSes. If you are using Android or iPhone, find an SMS app that you can set to auto block/delete SMSes from specific numbers.
- Set your email/Facebook/Whatsapp/etc to do such things too.
If your phone cannot do any of the above, your other option is to change number. Or just tell yourself not to respond at all. Not even to tell her to go away... every time you respond, even negatively, is a glimmer of hope for her.
She is not your responsibility. How she feels now, what she is going to do, etc... NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. There is no need for you to reply to make her feel a little better, or whatever. Even if she threatens to jump off a building.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tornbitwin2
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However, its easier said than done.i still look at GF's photos, still keep the stuffs she got me. Pretty much living half heartedly at the decision i made. ... WIFE is convinced that i've not been in contact with GF so she has put that aside and having full concentration on my daughters needs.
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Now I want to scold you. Fer f sake, throw away the memorabilia, erase any digital photos of her you might have, and be a man/husband/father and resolve to stick by your decision!!! You need to root her out of your life... the only things that should remain are memories of her and those will fade over time.
Your wife will never be her, but it does not mean you can't build a deeper relationship with your wife. Step by step. Go marriage counselling and let them help you become a better couple. This cannot wait until your daughter is in better condition, because no matter how much better she becomes, she will always need both of you around. So make time now, else your relationship troubles will fester.