Thank you everyone for your response and feedback. I really do appreciate it (and via proxy) I think my brother would too.
I am usually quite flippant when it comes to postings in SBF but in this instance I will adopt a more serious tone as I want to clarify some important pointers. Please do not get offended if it goes against your moral or existing paradigms that you hold with regards to your understanding of a Vietnamese Life Partner.
Reading through the hundreds of pages here in this thread, we know that the prevailing attitude is that having a Viet Life Partner is challenging - but ultimately rewarding if one is able to surmount the obstacles (especially within oneself).
Yes, even as we demonize the Viet girls' proclivities we also celebrate the joys of having such a relationship. To get a relationship going with a Viet gal is not difficult but build it up into Life Partnership is a monumental challenge - probably even more so than having brides of other nationalities.
And you don't need even more obstacles by having to contend with individuals like my brother in trying to take your Life Partnership one step further! Hence although not explicitly expressed, there is a general view of "disapproval" in his getting involved with a married woman.
I would like to point out here that:
1) I may be a newbie when it comes to understanding Viet girls but my brother certainly isn't. He was stationed in Vietnam for four years and he still visits Vietnam nearly every month either for work or social now. He has been involved in several relationship with Viet ladies and has suffered heartbreak even as he enjoyed the ecstasy.
2) Even if you disagree strongly with my brother's involvement with a married woman, do understand that there IS a context whereby he is drawn into the relationship. My posting obviously did not adequately address this. We know that, as a general rule, its better NOT to get involved with a married lady - its almost common sense.
But, as emotions and life circumstances flow, sometimes these things happen. And if it does happen, I do not judge or moralize. For me, this principle applies to everyone, not only to my brother.
3) Although each individual is unique and cannot be pigeon holed, this thread is special because it DOES help one to understand better the cultural, social and economic parameters from where a prospective Viet partner operates from. Its a guide and discussion platform for those who seriously want further their relationship with a Viet gal.
In this instance therefore, my brother's situation can only further add to the understanding process as it comes from another perspective - a third party in a marriage (of which there is not many within this thread)
4) I have mentioned here in thread earlier that I am involved with a Vietnamese Fuck Buddy who "mother hens" a mini Viet community. I didn't elaborate as I don't want to ruffle feathers. Through her, I see through a unique prism into the mindset of a Viet gal residing in Singapore as I am her sounding board and confiding ear. As such, I know of the "grey" areas, the indiscretions, petty quarrels, the Free lancing in order to get extra income and supplement the allowances given by their ongsa ..... I even know the intimate sex lives of many of these girls.
5) We (meaning my Brother and I) do apprehend that, as a general rule, Viet gals view marriage a little differently from us. Its almost like a patron relationship. You are the conduit for a better life than what she is experiencing in Vietnam.
Its almost an exchange of you providing for her materially and in return she gives you Tender Loving (and hopefully some degree of loyalty). The minute you fail to deliver, is the time she starts looking for alternate patrons.
Yes, Viet gals nearly never burns their bridges. Old boyfriends and ex husbands are always just round the corner. And ready to play surrogate should a VIet gal's significant other not deliver his end of his bargain.
We are lucky that we operate in a society that allows us to eke a living through our 'credentials' (more or less). For these girls, in order to further themselves, it is the use of "relationships" that is the modus operandi. The pathway to social mobility upwards is nearly always how they can KC and then parlay this KC into social and monetary capital. Hence we do not blame a Viet girl for always being on a lookout for something and someone better - that is her insurance for her future.
6) So knowing all these but yet my brother got involved with a married girl and invested his emotion wholly. Obviously there must be a context right?
Hope you don't take offence to this posting at any level. And I hope that my participation here can help a little in navigating the way to a better understanding of a Viet Life Partner.
PS; I am still surprised at the ruling that you cannot divorce a Viet girl before three years in Singapore - even if both parties consent to it!!!!!
