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Old 08-08-2012, 11:37 AM
vietboy vietboy is offline
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

Quote:
Originally Posted by ansonsohna View Post
Thank you everyone for your response and feedback. I really do appreciate it (and via proxy) I think my brother would too.

5) We (meaning my Brother and I) do apprehend that, as a general rule, Viet gals view marriage a little differently from us. Its almost like a patron relationship. You are the conduit for a better life than what she is experiencing in Vietnam.

Its almost an exchange of you providing for her materially and in return she gives you Tender Loving (and hopefully some degree of loyalty). The minute you fail to deliver, is the time she starts looking for alternate patrons.

Yes, Viet gals nearly never burns their bridges. Old boyfriends and ex husbands are always just round the corner. And ready to play surrogate should a VIet gal's significant other not deliver his end of his bargain.

We are lucky that we operate in a society that allows us to eke a living through our 'credentials' (more or less). For these girls, in order to further themselves, it is the use of "relationships" that is the modus operandi. The pathway to social mobility upwards is nearly always how they can KC and then parlay this KC into social and monetary capital. Hence we do not blame a Viet girl for always being on a lookout for something and someone better - that is her insurance for her future.

Hope you don't take offence to this posting at any level. And I hope that my participation here can help a little in navigating the way to a better understanding of a Viet Life Partner.

PS; I am still surprised at the ruling that you cannot divorce a Viet girl before three years in Singapore - even if both parties consent to it!!!!!
Bro, 1st of all, thanks for sharing.

Though I would agree to some point u mentioned, but still have some I disagreed with.

Yes, to some of them we singaporeans may be a floatation device out of their current situations in vietnam but not all Viet girls use "relationships" to move up the "social" ladder and not all viet girls think that marriage is a transaction. Those that think these way are those who have a motive, a materialistic or monentary focused motive.

I have know a couple of examples of viet girls sticking through thick and thin with their husbands and will not leave their husbands bcos of sickness and poverty. And they are singaporean husbands i'm talking about. After yrs, they still have a loving and happy family with kids.

And the only ladder I see that they can move up, is the social ladder back in vn, not in singapore, here they are still regarded as "third class" population.

Sometimes, we may be too close to someone or some situation that we may be influenced by them without us realising. Seeing the big picture is needed.

Bro Hurricane did brought up a good point, as yur brother has been travelling in and out of VN, why not consider getting a decent gal there? At least not so much headache now and in the future.

Above are just my 2 dongs. Sorry if I have offended u or any other bros with my 2 dongs.

Having said my share, your brother's decision is still ultimately his and he should not be influenced by any posts here or anyone. Do keep us posted with any updates on the course of action that yur brother is taking. (Sorry lah it me that is kapo lah. )