Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardlee
Hi bros,
My wife is always trying to change my perception that SHE is a great mother and a busy working woman. Because of the KID, SHE made sacrifice of her career just like other sinkie women. She usually works late and works hard for the company just like other career women; sometimes she comes home in bad mood due to her stressful work.
A sensible and responsible sinkie husband MUST UNDERSTAND the wife and take up all the house chores, plus looking after the kid when the wife is still working in office.
So how can a husband divorces a wife IF the sole reason is JUST LACK OF SEX? 
Is this a valid reason to present to the family court? Will they laugh away believing the hubby has lost sexual appeal and be the one to blame instead??
All friends, relatives and in-laws will sure laugh at me for being a bloody irresponsible pervert.
I don't think I have the balls to even tell my friends / colleagues that my wife is not having sex with me. You know it is a man's pride. It will be very difficult to face the family court based on this sexless reason. Very paiseh leh.
SEX is already thrown out of the window at this stage of the marriage.
Unfortunately I have high libido but living a sexless marriage now.
Every night, only jenny and jane helping the dick... |
Ok bro...
I hear you...
Now, please let me know this so I can see if I got it right...she is a good mother...no denying that...she may be a great wife too (other than the lack of sex part...)...but....she knows that you have high libido, yes? That is not a sceret yes?
Now, I understand it can be pai seh for you...but you also have to realise that it might be pai seh for her too if this gets out...
So...here's the plan...
I assume you have spoken to her about this issue...if not...speak to her...tell her that as a husband, you feel trap between being faithful to her and at the same time living without sex...see what she has to say...
Whatever side issues she bring up...push it aside...don't want to talk about stressful work...don't want to talk about her being a good mother...nope, those are not on the agenda...you only want to talk about the lack of sex...
Unless her reason is: 'I cannot stand having sex with you'...ask her if she is willing to plan a short trip so that you and her can be intimate again...and we are talking about a weekend trip...half day, one night, half day and back...worst case...just check in to a hotel for one Saturday night, maybe at Sentosa, your second honeymoon so to speak...if she says no to that, then it is not about the stress from work bro...it is all about you...
If she says yes...great...give it a shot...see what happens..
If not, you then tell her...you have no choice left...either she gives you written permission to seek sex elsewhere (I know...maybe you don't want to...but bear with me please...), or you may have to seek a divorce...
With the word divorce...she should take it more seriously...if she doesn't, then we know where you stand bro...
Let's assume she is willing to discuss this...where are you allow to seek sex from...GL? A secret mistress so there is less risk of STD and neither of you will lose face? Or she gives it up and has sex with you...
Plan A, she has sex with you....Do NOT be reasonable about this....understand that if you agree to sex once a week, she will slowly bring it down to once a month, then once a year again....go for broke...four times a week...and PLAN the schedule for it.
Work out what days are good and actually plan it in like an appointment. No ifs, and no buts...it is scheduled like her work calender...it must be followed.
If she turns this down...go for plan B...GL? State how often, four times a week? Get her agreement. If she does not agree...go for plan C...a Secret Mistress...hell, even let her choose for you...you come up with a list of possible candidates...she makes the final approval...sounds fair? Ok, maybe not to her...but you are the one making the request...go for it..
If she turns this down too, last resort time...plan D...Divorce...
Please bro, do not shy away at this stage...do NOT let her call your bluff...you must be dead serious about this and she must see that...
Ask her what she thinks of it...work out the terms of the divorce...she gets everything? Half? what? How about the child? You get to keep or see two, three times a week? To stay over with you on the holidays? You ask the questions bro, do not hint hint and let her come up with solutions...ask specific questions, offer suggestions and push her to have to answer you...
Then, if she is even thinking about it...explain to her that citing a lack of sex for divorce is gossip ridden and will affect her reputation at her work place...you are willing to be reasonable and agree on another reason for a divorce...how about the genaric one...citing differences beyond repair? (or whatever the legal term is...
)
If she agrees to this, you save face without having to admit a lack of sex...even if she doesn't agree, you have given her food for tought...
No need to press her for an answer there and then...you have done your part...now tell her you are willing to give her 7 days to come to a decision...note the date and tell her a time on that day you will be asking her for an answer.
Then bro...whatever happens, go find a lawyer within the first 2 days...
I do not want to alarm you but women are very quick with shit like that...next thing you know, she will take you to the cleaners....protect yourself...just tell the lawyer the same reason you and her agreed to....
Nevertheless, we are hoping for her to 'wake up' from her dream state and have a think about the reality of her life...is her husband worth throwing away over work and money?
You may not like the answer to that question bro...but you do not have many options left...
If you can save the marriage bro...we will go out and celebrate after your renewed sexual weekend...I'll buy the first round...but if she really is not interested in you as a husband any more...we can go drown your sorrows...I'll still buy the first round...but at least you can move on with your life...
One last advise bro...make sure you are sober when you talk to her...do not sound aggressive or angry...just a quiet, simple husband and wife discussion...do not give her a reason to sue your arse on top of not giving you sex...
If you really feel you cannot confront your wife...bro, one last option...text her...just make sure you spell everything out properly because now both of you will have written evidence...be calm...be reasonable and state the facts only...one question at a time...Ok bro?
Now...go do this!!
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