Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar
Just some thoughts:
1. A lot of women focus on kids and neglect husband. I find this is an attitude. If they feel sex is important in their marriage, they will make time for it. If they remember their husband is also important, they will make time for him. It's a matter of priorities. Unfortunately, many women only prioritise their children, then work responsibility, then husband. They expect their hubbies to be supportive and let them rest, help with housework, etc... but they forget they also need to be supportive of their hubby and relationship. This of course can apply vice versa, some men also focus on feeding wife and children and career, they forget to sayang their wives and children.
I am always amazed by those women who can balance career, kids, husband and personal needs. Really is Super Woman. They also tend to be high flyers... I'm out their league. LOL!!! But I'm happy enough with someone who puts me, kids and herself on the same high priority.
I know some cases where after divorce, the woman wake up and realise that not only they neglected ex-husband, they also neglected themselves and decide to give themselves some priority. Then they start to dress nicely, diet and/or exercise, put on make up, buy nice clothes, lingerie, arrange babysitting so they can go out with gfs or date new men. Last time, simply cannot let go of their children. In most cases, they realise the irony, although sometimes reluctantly. Unfortunately, for a few, the attitude is still "I want to show him what HE is missing!" *pengz*
2. Sex with same person, the same way will become boring after years. That is a given. As couples, we have to work to spice it up. With my fiancee of a few years, it is starting to feel SOP. Then the other day she blindfolded me and gave me BJ... the sensation is much more enhanced when you cannot see what's going on and your are not allowed to touch (of course I return the favour in kind). We are already taking about soft bondage when our own home is ready. Made we realise that it is not really that hard to enhance our sex lives.
3. Making love is also more fun when we go stay-cation or vacation. Simply having the time and luxury to connect, play and seduce makes the otherwise SOP sex more fun. Nicer bed, wake up later, well rested and better mood. No need to lower volume in case family/neighbour hear us. No work stress lingering in the mind. No rush to get dressed, can just cuddle and nap naked in each other arms.
4. Behave like an affair. Sometimes when I know my fiancee is at home on leave, I will purposely arrange my work or take half day leave just so I can go over and ML with her... as if we're having an affair. It is not as "exciting" as a real affair, but it feels better then SOP. Plus her family not at home, so we can really take our time and be more uninhibited.
2, 3 and 4 can only apply if 1 is not the situation or has been resolved.
I've said this a few times here and there in SBF. Consider marriage counselling even if you are NOT at the verge of divorce. I've personally experienced it... some people will listen to and believe neutral 3rd party "professionals" (i.e. marriage counsellors) more then they do to their life partner. You need someone else to tell your other half that sex is THAT important.
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