Quote:
Originally Posted by analog
Bro, this won't work.
You're treating her like she's a guy, she isn't, she's a woman so you can forget using logic, that doesn't work. But the MAJOR flaw in this line of attack is the ultimatum, that never works. If you back someone into a corner, they will fight back. I'd advise against that.
Counselling is best because it immediately disarms her defences. In her mind, if all you thought about was sex, you'd just get a mistress but you didn't, you went to see a cousellour. In a really strange way, many women see that as being romantic because it means you want to save the marriage. Look at it from a practical perspective, the family court will make you go to a counsellor if you sue for divorce so get it out of the way.
Just my thoughts.
Cheers,
jim
|
Thanks Jim...
I hear you but I disagree.
The whole point in the plan is the ultimatum...It is not for her to understand (because they have already spoken and she did not agree or accept logic)...it is to let her know that she is going to lose her husband if she continues to deny him sex. (either permanently or to sex workers.)
Yes, backed her into a corner...what is her fight back?? Refuse him sex???
I am hoping her fight back will be to have sex with her husband so that he will stop his silly thoughts of sleeping around.
At every stage, she is given the option to sleep with her husband, and all will be forgiven...and that is all our bros here are asking for...
It does not always work for 'smart' women to hear a professional tell her that she should have sex with the husband...the fact that the husband found this counsellor will stink to high heavens to her...now she will feel humiliated that her husband will 'gang up' with an outsider, another woman no less, to 'talk down' to her about neglecting her duties. (a male counsellor is worse, because what does he know about being a wife?)
Maybe it worked for you, bro...but I reckon it will backfire more often than it works...unless...the wife is the one who finds the counsellor...then the chance of success is higher...however...she doesn't think she has a problem so she won't go looking for one...END OF YOUR PLAN!!!
I had an FB who was a counsellor at a secondary school...and she resigned because she became the source of blame when all she was doing was to counsel the difficult students along with their parents...well, parent and child ganged up on her, basically told her to mind her own business...maybe the parents knew their kids are not putting in effort, but having an outsider say it brought their backs up...'stay out of our family issues bitch.' was the final straw for my FB as a counsellor.
While this may not happen to your marriage counsellor...I guarantee that 70-80% of husbands will get it when they get home...
Do NOT underestimate a woman when it comes to wrath and vengeance. And their 'cattiness' when dealing with another woman interfering with her private life... The lost of face means revenge will come so hard and fast that our bros won't even have the time to say sorry. (as a sis here said...he will die until very ugly...)
Like I said...my plan is not perfect, but no plan is...mine is starting to work though...changing plan now will weaken our bros' position and he will be lucky to go back only to square one...
The best defence is to attack...not physically, but idealogically...she wants a husband? Better start behaving like a wife...
Who is better to say that to a wife than her husband??
All in all...this is all just my opinion...
I only wish I thought of this before walking out on my ex wife all those years ago...I still feel I never forced the issue enough and she never had the chance to see how determined I really was...Could she and I work out? We will never ever know now...
I'd just like to spare the bros here the same mistake I made...
And yes, get a divorce and let the court assign a counsellor...at least it is not his choice...but starting a divorce comes from the ultimatum...
.