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Originally Posted by analog
In any case, there are two choices:
1. You fix your marriage and grow old together,
2. You get divorced and likely die alone. (This more of a problem for women than men)
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Sadly bro Jim...whether we want to believe it or not...we all die alone.
Having a few people around us while we die alone simply complicates things...may make some people happier but equally may make some people more miserable.
What you may be talking about bro, is the wish to have someone around those years before we die...that I can agree with...however...
Depending on who that person is...I may or may not subscribe to having a spouse can solve that problem.
A neighbour of mine died last year and in his will, he gave his maid a quarter of his asset...the wife, who got half cried bloody murder.
I knew him quite well. He was stuck in his wheelchair for the last 5-6 years...everyday, his maid would wheel him around...to get coffee, lunch and just to be out and about...he couldn't have fucked her because his condition wouldn't have allowed it....the maid spent hours accompanying him...even wheeled him to come tcss with us...
I have asked the wife...being the naturally kaypoh and direct person that I am...why won't she spend more time with him...
Her answer...too troublesome...he tells the same stories all the time and she got tired hearing it...he has too many demands...want to go here...go there but cannot walk...her final conclusion...I have a life you know?!?! (btw...her life, as far as I know, is playing mahjong, 12-15 hours a day...well, and time for the salon cos her hair style was different all the time.)
His children were all grown and they really did have their own life...
So...his spouse was not the one he could depend on...even though they have been married for 40 odd years...
I think he should have given the maid half or more...but ok, she only did it for a few years when the wife did it for much longer...
Anyway, my point is...we all die alone...the fancy funeral is done for the benefit of the living, and not for the person in the coffin.
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Now, many of you are thinking that the cousellor will sit your wife down on an elevated chair and bright lights shining at her and question her through a loud speaker "WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND?". It does not work like that. The cousellour gets you talking to each other and tries to stay out of it. It will go something like this:
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Bro Jim...
Please understand that I am not against your suggestion of talking to counsellors...I am against the way that you suggested...that you go find one, tell her your problems...THEN call the wife and say, honey, I love you very much and because of that I went and seeked marriage counselling, and by the way, please expect a call from a counsellor....
That will get our bros here killed!!
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So that's it boys and girls.
Do NOT talk to third party women about your problems, your wife will hit the roof....this is expected. You talk to a consellour or a lawyer, that's it. What is between you and your wife is private so you should talk to people that are bound by their professions to stay quiet.
Cheers,
jim
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I fully agree with this bro...but still insist that the wife should be the one making the appointment. (the husband can make the suggestion...but let the wife make the move.)
Thanks bro...
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