Quote:
Originally Posted by owl888
if she cannot accept your past, then I believe she's not the right person for you. I think you have not been officially married, still not too late the make the right decision, do the right thing and will save u a lifetime of pain.........
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Thanks bro. I understand that all of you are here for me.
I have my fears as well. Recent news report of how a poor child died after being hurled down the flat by his own mother and went on his way with only a single person to see him on his last journey is not adding optimism into my thoughts.
Not officially married yet and haven't signed anything yet for now (what would be burnt up would just be about $3000 for a rock and $10 for an housing application fee). But to be absolutely sure that things would get solved, had decided to sign both of us up on a marriage prep course. I am hoping that this course would open eyes, ears and hearts more than my attempt to show, talk and reason out things with her that marriage-parenthood are a joint responsibility and setting up a family is all about making ultimate sacrifices (even on weekend night outs as you catch up on precious sleep).
I guess the biggest pitfall between both of us is our age. 5 years apart and being the older one, I tire easily at a lot of things and handle stuff in the easiest, most efficient possible method. "Don't like this guy? - Ignore", "Don't like this guy but you've gotta work with him? - Act blur".
Her method? "You treat me nice, I treat you better. You treat me like shit and I will go all the way out and make special effort just to piss you off/make life as uncomfortable as possible for you." (which I personally find it extremely juvenile. Perhaps its our age and generation difference I guess).
I am hoping that the prep course would be of use. I'm not sure what attitude would she approach it with though. It makes me wonder about the thoughts that goes through her head at times.... Wonder if educational qualification (she's post-secondary & I'm degree) and religious (her staunchly religionless and determined to stay that way vs a 'study all that's good and try to learn it' me) difference is a huge gap as well though....