[kasain]

The real issue
Almost lost track of it..
So we've been like a real couple since then, and now i have gone back to my hometown again. Its now a long distance relationship where we try to ctc each other daily, though theres not much time for it because of time+- and also her work..
Her work.. massage primarily, but she has also told me she.. escorts sometimes for cash.
And this here is the issue at hand not because she escorts but the suppressed feelings and anxiety because of it..
(i told her i accepted her circumstances when i confronted her about it a few days after our first night when some smuck called repeatedly early morning and she didnt want to answer, and my warning lights went on)
She says she doesnt want to tell me the sad parts of her life, but i cant relax and completely trust her before i know her ins and outs and the reasoning behind the things that happens.. this probably stems from my incapability to completely trust ppl, more accurately women, and especially vn girls, that is in this business..
I know she loves me, and even have thoughts of a future with me and have hopes for us..
I do feel that i love her too, more than i have any girl for several years, and i have open ideas about our future.. But i just cant take it the fact i'm in the dark, especially when her secrets are so essential when it comes to trust in a relationship.. Im scared she goes overboard the limit of work into fun. About all the other secrets she wont tell me. Scared things happens when im not there or things just suddenly, randomly goes out of control..
Simply i dont have enough trust in her because i have no clue how real or fake, how transparent things are, and i Want to trust her So much. For her reassurance and for my own mind to feel at ease..

I've told her i want to be a part of her real life and not just some accessory called 'Ck'.. Not just a lover, a boyfriend, a thing which theres plentys of in the sea.. as the knowing girls in vn are so pessimistic about, almost to the point of unattached even if they lost it..

What can i do, what should i say to let her willingly share her dark secrets with me, her hidden life, her true life???