Reading about sex work

[orneryjoe]

This 96-page report about sex work in New York city is available here.

Quite interesting to browse and one begins to realise that sex work, whether in the USA or Asia, contains many similarities.

[orneryjoe]

Here's one interesting fact from the report:

In New York State, the five main subcategories of prostitution-related offenses are:
prostitution...
patronizing a prostitute...
promoting prostitution...
permitting prostitution...
and loitering for the purpose of engaging in a prostitution offense... (p25)

In Singapore, the first two are not illegal. Not sure about the third one. The fourth is an offence for hotel owners. The fifth is solicitation and is an offence in Singapore.

[igor88]

And your purpose of this thread ???

[orneryjoe]

The purpose of this thread? I suppose it is because the subject is inherently interesting. Many bros here (including myself) visit sex workers and it would be good to find out more about them.

It's true that the report is about sex workers in NY, but sex workers everywhere share certain similarities with one another.

Just thought it would be a nice change from personal recounts to something more objective, but I expect that not everyone will feel the same and I respect that. Please feel free to skip this thread if it doesn't interest you.

[orneryjoe]

The reason why some turn to sex work:

This research suggests that people from a wide range of socioeconomic levels, from low-income to working-class and middle-class, use sex work as a means of economic support. For example, many turn to prostitution and other sex work to earn income quickly when they find themselves in vulnerable economic situations. Others are forced or coerced into sex work. In many of these cases, economic instability plays a primary role in the reasons for which individuals are coerced into sex work. [p30, Behind Closed Doors]

Seems like the route to being a sex worker in NY also applies to their Asian sisters.

[waiwaiz]

Originally Posted by igor88

And your purpose of this thread ???

to get zapped...

[orneryjoe]

An interesting quote:

Patricia compared sex work to other low-wage occupations, saying: “What a waitress makes in a week can be made within two or three days [in prostitution]... Some people have jobs just to pay their bills, even if they don’t want them... They’re doing something they don’t want to do in exchange for money. I mean, to me, a housewife is a prostitute - she’s home taking care of the kids and you give your husband sex and he pays the bills... People have the misconception that you have to be on the corner to be a sex worker ... When you get in, it is just hard to get out because the money is so easy.” [p33, Behind Closed Doors]

[orneryjoe]

What sex workers think about their work:

Most participants had at least somewhat mixed feelings toward their involvement in sex work. Many described sex work as simultaneously a positive, flexible arrangement and a degrading situation. Angie says, “I’m wondering if I’m going to ever do anything else. When my kids turn older, will they see their momma as a whore? I hope not.” However, even Dana, despite all the violence and indignities that she has experienced as a prostitute, says, “[In other jobs, you are] enslaved by people, especially in minimum wage jobs. Bosses wield a lot of power. Sex work is better because you have your own hours and money and no boss to humiliate you.” [p35, Behind Closed Doors]

[igor88]

Originally Posted by orneryjoe

The purpose of this thread? I suppose it is because the subject is inherently interesting. Many bros here (including myself) visit sex workers and it would be good to find out more about them.

It's true that the report is about sex workers in NY, but sex workers everywhere share certain similarities with one another.

Why would you want to know a sex worker better ???? The whole idea of commercial sex is to fxxk & forget isn't it ?

[orneryjoe]

Originally Posted by igor88

Why would you want to know a sex worker better ???? The whole idea of commercial sex is to fxxk & forget isn't it ?

Do you mean to say they are not worthy of being related to as human beings?

Admittedly, it would mostly be foolishness to fall in love with them but that shouldn't stop us from appreciating them and the services they provide.

I find them fascinating and have no qualms about wishing to understand them better. Besides, greater empathy might also get me better service.

[orneryjoe]

Not that I care, but for the unknown person who zapped me, saying that this thread is a "rubbish post", know that two other persons upped me for starting it - thanks, linus and topcook1.

With my points as they are now, I am under moderation status and there is little motivation for me to contribute frequently and constructively in this forum. The way I see it, the loss is to the forum and its members, and not to me.

This whole zapping thingy is inordinately stupid and absurd -- but life is full of inordinately stupid and absurd situations anyway, so I guess there's not much use complaining.

[orneryjoe]

When asked if they would like to leave sex work eventually, 69% (36 of 52) of respondents said “yes.” Many respondents voiced ambivalence about their continuing involvement with the sex industry. Candace, who is now transitioning out of sex work after 27 years in the business, said that why she stayed “is the mystery of life.” Bryan said he doesn’t know why he stays in the business and asks himself the same question every day. “It’s hard to give it up. How do you leave that?” clarifying that he was talking about “fun and the benefits.”

Leticia explained that, “Sometimes you feel like you can’t do nothing else. You get real addicted to it. I would love to work in a nice office or a hospital, but who has time to go to school? I have to pay bills, I take care of my momma—she’s sick. I just can’t afford to stop doing it. I probably will do this for a long time. I can’t even figure out when I would stop. That’s how bad it can get sometimes. You just feel like the shit won’t end, and that’s how I feel.”

Victoria also spoke of a feeling of inevitability about the work in her life: “It’s addicting. I can’t find myself in a square club. I can only do this if I gain square [non-sex worker] friends and I don’t have any square friends... it’s a lifestyle.”

Others were more pragmatic about why they stay and why they might leave, and some explained that they like the work itself. Sara said, “Being able to support myself . . . I will not shy away from saying ‘money.’ I find it more meaningful and easier to deal with than restaurant work. I like working one-on-one with people. When it goes well, I feel like I’m giving someone something that is needed and appreciated and makes me feel special. This is very narcissistic.” Celeste commented, “Because I love it and because I need the money.” Lily said, “The money, but sometimes it’s enjoyable.” Debbie commented on the lack of other options and also said that she likes the work: “I don’t have a resume and don’t know what I want to do. I like it. I worry about the future but I really enjoy the present.” Lisa noted that “I don’t know what my options are to change or do something better economically and it’s something I’m used to, easy. I’ve always thought it was easy, I may complain but I know that it’s easy because you don’t have to prepare reports or be totally punctual or be professional in that outside world way.”

However, others are strictly focused on the financial aspects. Luciana said that “the money is worth the risks. I want to stop, though, because I worry about the police.” She hopes to eventually open her own gym. Yoko acknowledges that “I said it’s not easy, but I’m getting used to it, not comfortable, I don’t [want] to use [the word] ‘comfortable.’” [p62, Behind Closed Doors]

[orneryjoe]

It is clear that the rewards of the sex industry were a barrier to leaving, especially considering the financial rewards. Most respondents described the money as the most rewarding aspect of their involvement with sex work. Leticia said, “Money, that’s it. Don’t believe nothing else they tell you. It’s just the money” and Maria agreed, “Money is the only thing. You meet a lot of people and are their therapist, they tell you their problems.”

Others offered different rewards as well as money. These often referred to personal interactions and “actually liking customers.” Lily reported that the greatest rewards of sex work were “Money, and the fact that everyone is happy to see me when I ‘go to work.’” Celeste said, “The most wonderful thing is getting to meet people that I never would have met otherwise and feeling very honored that they shared themselves with me.” Sean reported that he prided himself on reading people and what they want, and being able to please people. He was emotionally satisfied by being good enough in bed that people will call him back. It is “good for the ego.” Grace described her surprise at the many high class and high quality customers she met. They learned a lot from each other and shared with each other. She has a psychologist that loves to talk to her. Emiko said that she helps her clients speak up about their secrets and that her clients appreciate her work.

Freedom and autonomy were common themes separate but very related to financial gain. The interviews echoed a common theme, mentioning “freedom and financial security.” Viola’s biggest reward from the sex industry was “freedom, in your time and in doing freaky things. You’re the one in charge, never do anything you don’t want to do. Everything is fun and it’s fun money.”

Connie summed up this perspective well, saying that “I have no boss, no schedule.” [p63, Behind Closed Doors]

[igor88]

Originally Posted by orneryjoe

Do you mean to say they are not worthy of being related to as human beings?

Admittedly, it would mostly be foolishness to fall in love with them but that shouldn't stop us from appreciating them and the services they provide.

I find them fascinating and have no qualms about wishing to understand them better. Besides, greater empathy might also get me better service.

We all know why they are in this trade. You as a season chiongster should know. Why do you need to undrstand them better ? So that you can get free service from them? They are here for a purpose which I respect them for .

What would you get if you are able to understand them better ??? What do you hope to achieve ?

[Frankiestine]

I am surprise that for a country that promotes so many decadent life style and preaches human rights so vigorously, prostitution is actually illegal. Engaging the services of prostitute can get one arrested.