is this prelude to an affair from ex colleague?

[justwanadoit]

left my ex coy afew months a go, there was a new lady staff who came in 2-3 months prior my departure, we din associate much since diff area of work but she seat outside my office, so i got plently of chance to see here zao geng. she has average face with some pimp[le but she has pretty good figure and fair skin and nice legs, think she 28 yr old


during last few days of my time there, she one day jio me for lunch say wanna know more about this company as she is feeling the pressure, this ex coy has high turn over and very eccentric and difficult boss.

she we we for lunch, i told her about the ppl and what to expect who to look out for and advise here to see for herslef if she really like the job vs sacrifices to make worth it or not....she then kinda reveal she felt the stress of this job and dun know how long she can continue...


i also let her know i married and intend to go for tour after my last day...then she very nice and bot a tour bag tag for me and wife.

Then i found out from her, she a bit lone ranger cos she dare travel alone to cambodia b4.maybe i old fashion but 1 lone gal travel south east asia a bit daring...

anyway, 1-2 week after my last day, one day she sms me, but sms not clear, i tot she sms wrongly, i sms her 'i think u sms wrongly'
she sms me back,'no , the sms is for u'

then she sms me again say if i free to talk, i was with wifey to dinner so i said i call her back. then from then on she call me just after work got another time to pour out her diificulties at work...


i also a bit 'gian' so patronise her a bit. recently i sms her ask her how life, then she sms she quitting, she then call me and chit chat talk about work and her plans afterwards, then she ask me go out for lunch or kopi...but when she ask she sound a bit like pai seh or sheepish over the phone....


just asking u guys who use to office affairs as i use to work in all guys environment, is this a bit strange for lady colleague to keep calling or sms u , then follow up with meal invitation?

normally most ladies will know when to stop being too close to another guy colleageu right? esp he is alread married.

i actually a bit interested if really is no string attach fling, if like complicated and become like fatal attraction then i surely avoid.

any advice from experience guys how u should play this???

no flaming me, besides, i admit maybe myself thinking too much, it is nothing more than a friendly meal, lidat i also relief as no temptation mah but what if temptation arise . also how will a woman make suggestive move with sounding too obvious or slutty?

[cumfast]

Maybe she wants you to open her a path to the company you working at?

[yang punk]

Think its too early for you to start dreaming of bonking her at this stage. Why not just take things one step at a time. You will know when the time comes if she is destined to be your fb!

[patrickzapu]

Beware she could be a trap planted by ur wife to test u..........notink's free in tis world......

[BatistaSG]

Better be safe than sorry

[Oralcraz]

Usually difficult to tell what's on a ladies' mind. Like bro "yang punk" said, tag along and see how's thing develop. Observe body language and sometimes the eyes do give out some signal.
Btw, nobody can foresee if this is kind of "Fatal Attraction" or not. If you are concerned and worried, then don't go any further. Good luck.

[lilmei]

maybe she's juz friendly because u r the only person who is nice to her in her new and difficult work environment but then again, nvr buy toto u'll nvr noe if u strike Gp 1.

Try ba, i wish u all the best.
wait for yr FR.

[spacehawk]

The man who insists on seeing perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.

[justwanadoit]

thks for all advices, i agree with bros, it's too early and it's all in my imagination at the moment...sigh...when u not working, ur mind runs wild but usually run to sex...

[DexDJ]

bro.. i think it's in both your best interests to start off as friends first.. like the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed.. nothin to lose if you have her as good friend.. if things turns out to be more than friends, well, take it as an added bonus..

[johntan_68]

Dear Bros,

This story is not an affair with my colleaque but an acquitance with a gal from my company seated next to me going for course. I have never met her before and later learned she join the company this March only.

She looks attractive not busty. I think A/ A+ only and always dress sexy with V cut in front. Dont know if this is her style of dressing or show me her neh neh? After we intro ourselves on 3rd days of lesson, I knew she is a wifey with 2 young children age 2 & 5. I am also married and have 2 young gals so as parents we talked a lot on children schooling, their character and their naughty nature. She is married but no ring so I hinted some questions finding more info on her hubby but, she barely mention and refused to talk. I knew something is amiss with her married so I refrain going further to dick into her personal life.

Only recently, last Friday lesson I finished all MCQs on the chapter taught on Thurs. She complained a lot of work til 2am+ then I asked, "wah sleep so late and yor lao kong must be asleep than". Then she pull me closer to her, whispered "I tell you a secret pls dont tell anybody". I comply with a promised. She says, "her lao kong wasnt sleeping but he passed away this June when he went exercise at East Coast." I was totally stunt, shocked and felt terrible sorry to her talking so much about her late husband a week earlier. She says, feeling better to talk about him than refrain to talk about him keeping in my heart. I was feeling very sad for her 2 young children and at the same time, I have a wild thought..."Wow she hasnt had sex since June; dont know if she missed it"? hahaha....

Since knowing her story, we are closer and I treat her nicer showing concern about her life & children. Just 2 days ago I went Toys R US to get my 2 kids X'mas present, and I told her I bought 2 X'mas gifts for her young children too; a boy & a gal. She kept saying Thank You for your thoughtfulness & concern. Be a nice colq and a friend, I told her "no worries; toys are children interest and I want your children to spend a Special X'mas without their Daddy. I hope the toys can replace their lost & loneliness." I think this is an additional credit to leave her better impression of me. I know she is now a widow acting as a mother & father to her 2 children and a long story I shall not mention here, I can only commented ; she has terrible Mother's in-law &family. Sigh!

Like 1 bro mentioned in this site. "It is better to start with friends 1st and move on to become good friends and who knows a bonus later". Right now, am not asking anything in return. Just want to be nice to help her during this hard times juggling with work, 2 young children and financial. We only chat when we met in class, other than that we dont smsing each other but emailing. I behave normal talking and sharing my story, work, my wife & children to let her feel at ease. But to show consideration of her feeling, I speak less of my family interest to her; this maybe sensitive reminding her of her late husband's.

We are all men here. We are all buaya. Hehehe...sometimes I ve wild thought myself what is the SEX feeling with her after puasa since June? We will be working a lot together in the future and I hope nothing happen to us and better NOT TO. However, if she gives in to me someday then let see 1st.

Bros, pls dont jab me if you dont like my story. I am only sharing with all of you my dilemma if I should continue my friendship with her or cancel the opportunity to work together. I approach her if she is willing to work with me on future business deals; without hesitant she immediately agree. Wow! I was only testing water only. I will share more if there is happenings.

Cheers to all of you

[newscapegoat]

If you just want a no-strings attached FB, you'll have to toe the line very carefully.

Like cumfast has said, she might be just looking for an opening in another company. Women know how to use their looks and body to their advantage.

Since you have already responded to her smses, you've opened the door to her, letting her know you are available to her confiding in you. Even if she isn't looking for another job opening, she might become emotionally dependent on you for her to unload her complaints. Once these kinds of affair start in this manner (the emotionally dependent kind), it'll be hard to reverse and you might one day have to choose between her or the wife.

If you just want a FB, don't let her unload on you. You gotta be a little cold-blooded and stop her complaining. Let her know you are just a man needing a little sex.

If you wanna listen to her pour out her heart to you, then keep it platonic and maybe set her up with one of your buddies. Don't get involved.
If you get involved sexually and she starts to think you're great bf/husband material, you'll have fatal-attraction-esque troubles in getting rid of her. And it will boil down to choosing one or the other. Sometimes you end up with neither.

I'll recommend going with yang punk's suggestion, get to know what kind of person she is first.

I was involved in similar office affairs before, but between vendor and clients. I don't wanna bore you with details but all the lessons I've learnt through my experiences can be summed up in my above 2 cents.

- want FB, don't let her unload onto you emotionally.
- want to be nice guy and hear her out, don't get involved sexually.
- want to be nice guy and FB, good luck - things will get messy. Very messy.

[Oralcraz]

To : johntan68
I can understand yr dilemma. Is natural to get horny. Whatever may happen, there is no right or wrong. Is fate that brings people together. Just remember, family comes first and try not to hurt yr colleague feelings.....she already lost her hubby in a tragic way. She must have cried her heart out then. Best wishes to her.