Guilty | Amorous | Lust

[gocoffeebean]

Hey TS.... I totally had the same life as u to the from wife kid situation to Kelly part. Even until today I'm still stuck in that situation. My "Kelly" would share with me everything but the man in her life would never be me. It hurts but I can't let go.
I'm glad Elaine came along to release u from Kelly.
Haiz. Marriage is a strange thing. The before n after r worlds apart especially on the wife part.

[Michael12Rock]

Originally Posted by alphonsus

Go for it! Once in a life time

Bro alphonsus, I have to admit ... I'm no hero (fortunately or unfortunately)

Originally Posted by gocoffeebean

Hey TS.... I totally had the same life as u to the from wife kid situation to Kelly part. Even until today I'm still stuck in that situation. My "Kelly" would share with me everything but the man in her life would never be me. It hurts but I can't let go.
I'm glad Elaine came along to release u from Kelly.
Haiz. Marriage is a strange thing. The before n after r worlds apart especially on the wife part.

Hi Bro gocoffeebean - Honestly, some part of me still misses Kelly. It was good that my department got relocated to another floor, so we see each other less nowadays ... I guess she still has a special place in my heart as she's "the one that got away" - I never managed to "conquer" her ...

All the best for you and your "Kelly" and I hope you won't follow my footsteps ...

I came across this saying before ... think it's true ... at least for me...

妻不如妾，
妾不如妓，
妓不如偷，
偷不如偷不着!

[woohooo]

Originally Posted by Michael12Rock

Elaine and I eventually agreed that it was best that we stop seeing each other for a while. I took some time to gather my thoughts as well as to get over the grief of losing Elaine. I then plucked up enough courage to have another long talk with Sue. I told her that we can’t continue like this, as we’ll end up leading separate lives and I don’t wish to imagine the outcome.

“Are you seeing someone?” that was her first question.

“No” I replied, looking at her straight in the eyes. I had prepared myself mentally for this question and I knew that any answer other than a firm “no” would spell the end of us. Technically, I wasn’t lying.

After a long heart to heart talk, she agreed that if we love our kids, our marriage has to remain strong and that we should also give ourselves some “couple time” away from the kids. We decided that our “first date” would be on our wedding anniversary, which was coming up soon on a Friday. I’d plan the date while she’d settle the kid’s babysitting arrangements.

Sue arranged for her parents to come over to our place for a few hours for us in the evening. She even made extra effort to go to a salon to set her hair. She looked ravishing in a new dress that she bought for the occasion. As we headed to dinner, I surprised her with a bouquet of her favourite roses. It felt like our first date. Indeed, this was the first time in a long while that we were out on a date without the kids. It felt odd as we seemed to have forgotten how to behave as a couple after so long. But it felt great as well to have our couple time back.

Watching the sunset over the city skyline, while slowly savouring exquisite dishes and sipping wine, on the 72nd floor of Raffles City wasn’t something that we get to enjoy with kids around. The ambience in Equinox made it all the more romantic. The mood was relaxed and we enjoyed our chat.

“This feels like a perfect evening” she cooed.

“Would anything make it even more perfect?”

“Well … a night’s stay perhaps …” she replied jokingly with a laugh. I just smiled.

After footing the bill, we got down the express lift to the ground floor. As we strolled hand in hand, she didn’t notice that I hadn’t taken the same route back to the car park. Instead, I had led her through to the Fairmont hotel lobby. It was only when we got into the lift and I used the access card to go up to the hotel room floor that she realised what is going on.

“Ahh … Dear … You booked a room?!” she exclaimed, totally surprised.

“Yup … hope you like it …”

“I’m impressed … You win already … pull off something like that with any girl and you can get her to do anything” she was clearly pleased.

“Anything?”

“Anything!!” She smiled and kissed me, then she hesitated “But I didn’t plan for us to stay overnight leh …”

I knew she was referring to the kids. I assured her that I had it all planned. In fact, I had already packed an overnight bag with all the kids’ necessities and we’ll just need to go home later to pick them up for a stay-cation after our date. The assurance set her mind at ease. She was very pleased that I had included the kids in my plan.

It was true that I could get anything I wanted. She didn’t utter a single “Don’t want la” throughout the evening . We made passionate love that night at Fairmont and it was the best sex that I had with her in the longest time. We both remembered that night so fondly that, since then, whenever we drive pass City Hall, we would be reminded of that romantic evening. However, the flipside is that I had set such a high benchmark for that date that all the subsequent dates paled in comparison. In other words, it was unsustainable. The frequency of our couple time started to dwindled. Dates were postponed or cancelled for one reason or another. Before long, we were back to where we started.

I have since learnt to accept it and to be “zen” about it. Upon reflection, I learnt that my disappointment and bitterness stem from my expectations of Sue, which is something that she couldn’t fulfil given our circumstances. At the end of the day, I have come to terms with the fact that family is most important and too much is at stake to risk it with an affair. So I’ve learnt to cope. On days when the urge felt overbearing, I’d just visit my usual HCs to get some temporary relief.

Do I think of Elaine? Yes, of course. We still text each other once in a while, but somehow we kept things casual. Perhaps neither of us wanted to “commit” our feelings again …

------------

My experiences over the past few years have shaped my perspective of sex, love and marriage. I could probably generalise my thoughts with some analogies:

Paid sex / ONS are like potato chips. They can be enjoyed almost anytime, without fuss, and they come with a variety of flavours (like it or not ). They satisfy our cravings, but they are usually unfulfilling after the binge. They can also be very addictive. Once started, it’s really quite difficult to stop.

Fuck Buddies / FWB are like Snickers bars. They are convenient and able to satisfy a hunger when needed, but you know it’s a just substitute for a proper meal. And the situation can get pretty sticky too, if you bite off more than what you can chew.

Marriage is like a home-cooked meal. It definitely takes more effort to prepare, but it’s usually more wholesome and nutritious. When prepared and appreciated with love, it can be warm and hearty, leaving one with a sense of bliss. Then again, it could also be cold leftovers on the dinner table that turns one off at the thought of it. It all depends on whether we bother to keep the food warm or to go home early for dinner. It’s all about our priorities and how much effort both parties want to put in.

Sorry for being philosophical about this. I guess my experience is really quite common, judging from the comments shared in some of the other threads here.

Hope to hear some thoughts about what I've shared, and I guess I’m also curious to hear from the ladies’ perspective … Am I “生在福中不知福”? ...

I feel you bro... you are NOT alone. Many go through the same situation. The women too...

But you know what is rare? The realization that you have obtained... that the expectations both have of each other... is not sustainable. Hence the expectations have to be moderated & lowered, to avoid disappointments and hurts. At the same time... increase patience & tolerance for one another...

[Michael12Rock]

Originally Posted by woohooo

I feel you bro... you are NOT alone. Many go through the same situation. The women too...

But you know what is rare? The realization that you have obtained... that the expectations both have of each other... is not sustainable. Hence the expectations have to be moderated & lowered, to avoid disappointments and hurts. At the same time... increase patience & tolerance for one another...

Thanks for the encouragement, bro.

Yes, it took some reflection for me to realise that my expectations of Sue need to be moderated. So much so that I have practically given up asking or suggesting altogther. Even on occassions that she hinted that there might me a chance for some action, I wouldn't get my hopes up as such instances had ended up in disappointments more often than not.

And frankly, visiting HCs just doesn't cut it. No matter how much GFE the lady is able to provide in the room, there's something missing ... Darn, I miss Elaine as I write this ...

[silk_magic]

very good story bro...maybe one day i should pen mine too as it is ongoing

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by silk_magic

very good story bro...maybe one day i should pen mine too as it is ongoing

You shd bro !...support u ! ...wow, it's ongoing !...then hv to wait awhile more to read yr story...shd be jus as interesting if not more !...btw T.Q. v. much once again for yr generous return upzz ytd...Deeply appreciated ! ..

Yes, a very nice story, TS !...Keep it going asap...T.Q. !

[Michael12Rock]

Originally Posted by silk_magic

very good story bro...maybe one day i should pen mine too as it is ongoing

Was pleasantly surprised that someone is still reading this thread ... thanks for bumping it up ...

And yes ... please do share your story ...

Originally Posted by Rickey

Yes, a very nice story, TS !...Keep it going asap...T.Q. !

Thanks bro. Some things are currently brewing, but still at "early stages" (quite tempted - I'll see how things goes). I'm also too tied up right now to write anyways.

Thanks for reading

[MagicFingers]

Originally Posted by Michael12Rock

Was pleasantly surprised that someone is still reading this thread ... thanks for bumping it up ...

And yes ... please do share your story ...



Thanks bro. Some things are currently brewing, but still at "early stages" (quite tempted - I'll see how things goes). I'm also too tied up right now to write anyways.

Thanks for reading

Wow, TS, thanks for sharing. I guess grass on the other side is always greener.. May you find happiness in your life, whoever it may be with.. Cheers!