First off, pardon me if I post this thread in the wrong category. I was thinking here and 'Matters of the Heart' but I think its more appropriate here. If wrong, moderator please shift to the correct category.
You see brothers, I need advises/opinions. This is the most bottom times in my life. I do not want to ask advises from family or friends, because I do not want the opinions to be biased/double standard. I think its better to ask strangers because you guys do not know me well so wont be too judgmental. So here goes.
(this is as honest as it can be)
I am in mid 30s. In a 7 yrs of marriage with a beautiful daughter. A year or so ago, my family was introduced to a young beautiful girl by a relative (they are bf-gf )from my spouse's side. She was sweet, cheerful, girlish, all the good stuffs you could think of for a teenager. She used to stay over in our place, sometimes 3 -4 days never go home. My family and her became quite close. My relationship with her was mutual, we treated each other like Godbrother and sister, ya know what I mean.
Things change after the next 6 mths. The bf (relative of my spouse) became abusive (mentally, not physically). Bully her, taunt her, forced her to do things, etc etc. All in front of me and wife. So I began to felt sympathy for her, wanting to comfort her when her eyes turned red, but I know where I stood, and I stood firm.
So last November they broke up, and she began to move on, didnt come to our place anymore, just hi and bye messages thru FB. Last month it struck me suddenly to contact her and asked her doings. I thought it was all innocent..
When we contacted each other, I just wanted to ask her out and talk over drinks. But when we met, I felt this feeling that I have thought I had removed it forever in my heart. I began to fall for her.
Slowly, dates after dates after dates, I began to show my affection and care towards her, and she recipocrated by telling me she missed me la want to see me lar you know the sweet nothings. In the end I told her I have feelings for her, and she said she too have feelings for me but she didnt want to proceed more because Im married. And what see next shocked me.
"Baby, Im possessive and loyal. If I have feelings for you, Im sure I have it now, you have to divorce with your wife so that we can be together"
Now that coming out from a teenager, I did not know what to say, or do.
(Sidetrack a bit: For the record, I didnt marry my spouse out of love, but out of responsibility. Technically an arranged marriage. Cos I bombed her. Mum forced me to marry her, so bo pian. I was out of love since 2001 when the gf i loved most left me, so no more after that, not even my spouse, until now )
We continued datings. We even had sex. I was cock sure she was in love with me, with wat she said and did to me.
And because my relationship with my wife was already on cracks and hard to be fixed, I divorced my wife.
As she was still young and sweet and hot, naturally she had lots of contacts from boys. But lately this particular guy had been calling her, SMSing her and messaging her in FB. I was suspicious. Cos the way she talked to him, trying to say something but can't because I was there. I asked her if she was seeing someone or in a relationship with someone, she denied and die die say Im the only one in her heart.
Until 1 day I cannot tahan I logged into her FB (she used to tell me the pwd, I nvr logged in out of respect)
I thought my heart stopped.
A guy had been contacting her. All the sweet nothings and the sweet names she called me, she said it to the guy too.
She met him without my knowledge. And I dunt even know when she met with him cos almost every day I was with her.
In the message she said she cried because she missed him too much.
In the end I confronted her. And she finally admitted she was in love with this guy and this guy was in love with her and they were going to be an item.
But she said to me to keep my heart open and wait for her if I really love her, in case she and the guy cannot be together.
I was devastated.
1. What shall I do now? Should I move on? Or should I wait?
2. Is it my fault for having high hopes on her? I was god damn pissed because indirectly I felt she was the catalyst that made me divorced my wife.
I need advise. Please.
remember Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal? never leave you sperm unattended.
Leave while you still have your dignity intact.
Like the brothers said, people don't hold the values you did when you were their age. Having read so many exploits of the brothers here, you should be able to sense that bf-gf and "i love you"s means nothing to younger people nowadays.
And the age difference makes the difference. Even if she loves now all the while till now, in just a few more years, when you hit 40 and she would just be a budding adult who will know a hundred more potential suitors, where would you stand in her life.
You are not her one and only anymore, just a back-up plan. It's like working at a job, all the while searching for a better paying one.
For her, I think it's just a case of Electra complex.
There is this one thing that I always tell people when they are considering about divorce. NEVER EVER DIVORCE because of another girl. It always end up ugly.
I saw a few of my friends divorce before. One of them claim that his ex-wife is a control freak, thus he divorced her. Right now, he is married with another who control every single thing he do. But he said he can tolerate her...
Another friend divorced his wife(who he claims to be too possessive), just like you for a SYT. Now she's totally sticking with him and suck up every possible penny out from him. But he said he don't mind at all...
She told you to keep your heart open cause she don't want to lose you as a source of income (I assume you are loaded, and you did spent quite some money on her)
So what I think you MUST do in this situation is, to put your feeling aside and stop putting in feelings and spending on her. Maybe if you can just continue screwing her until she leave you for good. That's the only 'compensation' you can get for now.
__________________ Twelve percent of adults have had sex at work
Around 30 percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm
A woman's butt sticks out 25 percent more when she is wearing heels
A blowjob is the number one sexual act desired by straight men
Why we all kenna played out by SYT? Really sure that the young lady was the next best choice ... My experiences same as yours Bro. The SYT can really "play around" ...
But you are a solid man man. Can continue to screw her. I already too traumatized ... I salute you!!
Now that everything is finally over, thinking back i m still glad i did what i have done then....Falling in love all over with the younger lady and invested so much time with her. Due to my sexless marriage problem, my little head down there was always not thinking straight.
Once woken by the bad news that she is seeing someone, my little bro went straight for her pussy everytime we meet, coz i realised i cannot savage the situation anymore, and since the new relationship between my lady and her new bf has only just started, my little bro still got lots of oppotunities....till the D-day!
Honestly i love her very much, but i knew she can't be mine eventually, so i just try to get back what i have invested to the max, i did not have the intention to take advantage of her, even from day one !
But since she decides to pull out, my little bro wokes up and work alot harder. Hehe
We screwed each other alot more than before the bf appears in the pic. Its all a mind game, women fall in love with your speech, i was furious then, but behaved supportive and understood her plight, listen to her side of the stupid story and giving her advices....ends up we both in bed all the time, she even commented, how come i screw her with so much more vigour ! Actually it was done out of revenge.
Sorry i still need to apologise for my way of handling things here, i agreed its not very nice and proper but if you are truly in my same situation, its either you choose to be angry and depress or be happy and screw her till breakoff.
Many times in a relationship, ex came back after a failed relations elsewhere, its usually alot hotter, if you can accepts her back, i knew i can, coz my heart still loves her, but my brain was telling my little bro to screw her harder next time. haha
First off, pardon me if I post this thread in the wrong category. I was thinking here and 'Matters of the Heart' but I think its more appropriate here. If wrong, moderator please shift to the correct category.
You see brothers, I need advises/opinions. This is the most bottom times in my life. I do not want to ask advises from family or friends, because I do not want the opinions to be biased/double standard. I think its better to ask strangers because you guys do not know me well so wont be too judgmental. So here goes.
(this is as honest as it can be)
I am in mid 30s. In a 7 yrs of marriage with a beautiful daughter. A year or so ago, my family was introduced to a young beautiful girl by a relative (they are bf-gf )from my spouse's side. She was sweet, cheerful, girlish, all the good stuffs you could think of for a teenager. She used to stay over in our place, sometimes 3 -4 days never go home. My family and her became quite close. My relationship with her was mutual, we treated each other like Godbrother and sister, ya know what I mean.
Things change after the next 6 mths. The bf (relative of my spouse) became abusive (mentally, not physically). Bully her, taunt her, forced her to do things, etc etc. All in front of me and wife. So I began to felt sympathy for her, wanting to comfort her when her eyes turned red, but I know where I stood, and I stood firm.
So last November they broke up, and she began to move on, didnt come to our place anymore, just hi and bye messages thru FB. Last month it struck me suddenly to contact her and asked her doings. I thought it was all innocent..
When we contacted each other, I just wanted to ask her out and talk over drinks. But when we met, I felt this feeling that I have thought I had removed it forever in my heart. I began to fall for her.
Slowly, dates after dates after dates, I began to show my affection and care towards her, and she recipocrated by telling me she missed me la want to see me lar you know the sweet nothings. In the end I told her I have feelings for her, and she said she too have feelings for me but she didnt want to proceed more because Im married. And what see next shocked me.
"Baby, Im possessive and loyal. If I have feelings for you, Im sure I have it now, you have to divorce with your wife so that we can be together"
Now that coming out from a teenager, I did not know what to say, or do.
(Sidetrack a bit: For the record, I didnt marry my spouse out of love, but out of responsibility. Technically an arranged marriage. Cos I bombed her. Mum forced me to marry her, so bo pian. I was out of love since 2001 when the gf i loved most left me, so no more after that, not even my spouse, until now )
We continued datings. We even had sex. I was cock sure she was in love with me, with wat she said and did to me.
And because my relationship with my wife was already on cracks and hard to be fixed, I divorced my wife.
As she was still young and sweet and hot, naturally she had lots of contacts from boys. But lately this particular guy had been calling her, SMSing her and messaging her in FB. I was suspicious. Cos the way she talked to him, trying to say something but can't because I was there. I asked her if she was seeing someone or in a relationship with someone, she denied and die die say Im the only one in her heart.
Until 1 day I cannot tahan I logged into her FB (she used to tell me the pwd, I nvr logged in out of respect)
I thought my heart stopped.
A guy had been contacting her. All the sweet nothings and the sweet names she called me, she said it to the guy too.
She met him without my knowledge. And I dunt even know when she met with him cos almost every day I was with her.
In the message she said she cried because she missed him too much.
In the end I confronted her. And she finally admitted she was in love with this guy and this guy was in love with her and they were going to be an item.
But she said to me to keep my heart open and wait for her if I really love her, in case she and the guy cannot be together.
I was devastated.
1. What shall I do now? Should I move on? Or should I wait?
2. Is it my fault for having high hopes on her? I was god damn pissed because indirectly I felt she was the catalyst that made me divorced my wife.
I need advise. Please.
dont be silly, remember the day when you got married and had your first child. the first time your child called you papa. ur willing to throw all that for a fking immature little girl who has no fking concept of the idea called love?
your in your mid 30s, you should know the answer already.
a girl who isnt willing to openly share pics of you and her together on FB and etc is not a stable girl. There is no true love if your relationship isnt made known.
truth to be told, girls are more heartless than men today. protect yourself guys. we got ns to serve and still got women charters to fuck us up.
no sex video/pic = no true love
no openly announced relationships = no true love
not married, no kids no responsibility = not true love
Now that everything is finally over, thinking back i m still glad i did what i have done then....Falling in love all over with the younger lady and invested so much time with her. Due to my sexless marriage problem, my little head down there was always not thinking straight.
Once woken by the bad news that she is seeing someone, my little bro went straight for her pussy everytime we meet, coz i realised i cannot savage the situation anymore, and since the new relationship between my lady and her new bf has only just started, my little bro still got lots of oppotunities....till the D-day!
Honestly i love her very much, but i knew she can't be mine eventually, so i just try to get back what i have invested to the max, i did not have the intention to take advantage of her, even from day one !
But since she decides to pull out, my little bro wokes up and work alot harder. Hehe
We screwed each other alot more than before the bf appears in the pic. Its all a mind game, women fall in love with your speech, i was furious then, but behaved supportive and understood her plight, listen to her side of the stupid story and giving her advices....ends up we both in bed all the time, she even commented, how come i screw her with so much more vigour ! Actually it was done out of revenge.
Sorry i still need to apologise for my way of handling things here, i agreed its not very nice and proper but if you are truly in my same situation, its either you choose to be angry and depress or be happy and screw her till breakoff.
Many times in a relationship, ex came back after a failed relations elsewhere, its usually alot hotter, if you can accepts her back, i knew i can, coz my heart still loves her, but my brain was telling my little bro to screw her harder next time. haha
why dont u cum inside her and see see if her new bf can accept. girls who step 2 boats always lose out more. if she preg then u shiok liao. revenge accomplish
why dont u cum inside her and see see if her new bf can accept. girls who step 2 boats always lose out more. if she preg then u shiok liao. revenge accomplish
I have no such intentions for revenge, if she has grown more stable and are willing to come back, i m more than willing to accept her back, cos i have special feelings for her.
I m 45, she is 30. I dont really need a SYT, i need a gem.
Bro tamtam, life is really short and there are not that many years left to waste, hence live it as u see fit and should u think that anything about it doesn't fit, then screw it n move on... ...
Been married n now divorced, 10 years gone, we are not getting any younger, trying to happily live like there's no tomorrow ever since...to the extent of popping generic versions of viagra, cialis etc, to make sure that I can bonk like there's no tomorrow
Hope you learn something after this incident and create a charactor with your values and past experiences .... after these failed r/s
That's no use moaning for the past, move forward, make yourself a better man and be the RIGHT man for your next r/s or next partner or even your ex-wife after batching things up ........... just my little advice.
I have no such intentions for revenge, if she has grown more stable and are willing to come back, i m more than willing to accept her back, cos i have special feelings for her.
I m 45, she is 30. I dont really need a SYT, i need a gem.
dude, if that the case then i will say 4get about her lar...she is 30, that isnt very young also....she should be mature enough to understand what she is doing to herself and others.
she did this now at 30, you think she will change so fast??
14-04-2012, 10:49 AM
