married men

[EtherC]

TS,

first I would like to say its great to see liberal women like you around who are not afraid to enjoy good sex.

However reality does bite and we still belong to a traditional Asian society despite SG's multinational metropolitan reputation. Ask yourself if establishing a family is one of your life goals. If it is, I would suggest you don't destroy your future happiness by becoming what we men call a easyrider. Take extra caution when selecting a FB, do protect yourself.

Sg is a terribly small place with tons of people knowing each another and people do like gossip. If the guy tires of you don't be surprised he'll pass your info to some other guy and let him take over. Your reputation can be tarnished over a single men's outing with a guy bragging about his conquests. We men can separate sex and feelings much better than women. With a easyrider reputation it will be tough to hook a decent life partner.

There are few things men wouldn't do for sex. Sex is one of our prime biological directives along with power & domination. Hence, lying is just a negligible hurdle for us. The unhappiness trick is one of the oldest tricks in the book. The main aim is to pander to your female ego that You are the ONLY one who can bring me relief, thereby increasing your self worth and stimulating your innate caregiver tendency as a woman. Its a cheap psychological illusion. Another very old trick is to steer the direction of the date to create a point where you're more open physically & emotionally to sex . Eg, slow walk on a desolate beach after a nice dinner to create privacy and lower inhibition. Talking about emotional stuff to bring you emotionally closer and allow you to empatise.

Let's just say men who are good at the game rarely learn this from teachers, its largely through experience. Which means he has done this probably with a lot of women.

Hope you gain a different perspective from this! Might get zapped for revealing trade secrets LOL.

[Sensual8725]

Originally Posted by EtherC

TS,

first I would like to say its great to see liberal women like you around who are not afraid to enjoy good sex.

However reality does bite and we still belong to a traditional Asian society despite SG's multinational metropolitan reputation. Ask yourself if establishing a family is one of your life goals. If it is, I would suggest you don't destroy your future happiness by becoming what we men call a easyrider. Take extra caution when selecting a FB, do protect yourself.

Sg is a terribly small place with tons of people knowing each another and people do like gossip. If the guy tires of you don't be surprised he'll pass your info to some other guy and let him take over. Your reputation can be tarnished over a single men's outing with a guy bragging about his conquests. We men can separate sex and feelings much better than women. With a easyrider reputation it will be tough to hook a decent life partner.

There are few things men wouldn't do for sex. Sex is one of our prime biological directives along with power & domination. Hence, lying is just a negligible hurdle for us. The unhappiness trick is one of the oldest tricks in the book. The main aim is to pander to your female ego that You are the ONLY one who can bring me relief, thereby increasing your self worth and stimulating your innate caregiver tendency as a woman. Its a cheap psychological illusion. Another very old trick is to steer the direction of the date to create a point where you're more open physically & emotionally to sex . Eg, slow walk on a desolate beach after a nice dinner to create privacy and lower inhibition. Talking about emotional stuff to bring you emotionally closer and allow you to empatise.

Let's just say men who are good at the game rarely learn this from teachers, its largely through experience. Which means he has done this probably with a lot of women.

Hope you gain a different perspective from this! Might get zapped for revealing trade secrets LOL.

Second ur comment. Well said. Very enlightening.

[BiRd13]

Think the reply and response you made towards him, make him have different thinking... I have a friend like you... Who will sometimes talk, and somehow side track to sex stuff... I'm a open-minded guy so sometimes will sex chat with her as well... Frankly speaking, do have some naughty thoughts towards her sometimes... which I think is common... Whenever we meet, will try to 'seduce' her... In the past, really 'succeed', and for sure, we have lots of bed story as well... Recently we get back with each other again, and often talk via watsapp as well.. We still talk side track sometimes which lead to sex topic again... Whenever she asked me y I always have 'naughty' thinking, I told her that the way she talk/chat/msg makes me thinking y y...

So probably you are one of them as well... Perhaps you may want to control your msg, and probably not to share/talk too much personal stuff, which may lead him think y y...

[becca]

Originally Posted by EtherC

TS,

first I would like to say its great to see liberal women like you around who are not afraid to enjoy good sex.

....

Hope you gain a different perspective from this! Might get zapped for revealing trade secrets LOL.

Thanks EtherC for a little insight into what goes on in men's brains.. all those thoughts about my contact being shared and all does occur to me.. guess you probably have the thought that my exbfs that came contacting me again know each other.. therefore the mentioning about sharing contacts.. but they don't know each other one leh.. from different groups of friends..

Anyway.. thanks for your lengthy advice..

[becca]

Originally Posted by BiRd13

So probably you are one of them as well... Perhaps you may want to control your msg, and probably not to share/talk too much personal stuff, which may lead him think y y...

i don't think my messages make him think y y leh.. he ownself think y y first.. i don't mind talking about it as friend.. like how i do with my close guy friends.. just talking only wat.. if he wanna think too until he thinks he has a chance.. then he abit.. think too highly of himself.

[Darina]

All I can say is that men will try their luck to get between your legs
It's whether you want to or not and whether you encourage them.

I have married ex bfs coming to me to pour out their problems. But it stays at that but maybe it's because I'm married and they don't think I'm inclined to want to sleep with them.

Likewise I also hv single ex-bfs coming to me with their problems but they hope that I will sleep with them because I'm the perfect no strings attached partner if I ever sleep with them.

Thing is, I'm very open when I talk. I can share personal stuff and I can talk about sex (not talk dirty though) but that doesn't mean that I will sleep with the guy. I think you just have to be very very clear about that. I talk to my guy friends about sex but I make it very clear to them that just because I talk about it doesn't mean that I"m open to doing it with you. They are all very respectful of that and appreciate that they can talk to me without me taking offense and they respect that I'm not going to have any hanky panky with them.

Works out fine so far.

[Botakhead]

Sister, so many samster given their point of view. The bottom line is where do you stand? Do you still want to have anything to do with them after they already married? Talk can slowly get very serious and cause alot of problems later on.

Better to stop all past ex r/s, it'll do you good for your future. Although it may happen that the ex may also know your BF (if you've one now). But as long as the line had been drawn, made known to your BF that you've totally given the past ex's r/s the axe, no need to worry anymore.

[becca]

Originally Posted by Darina

All I can say is that men will try their luck to get between your legs
It's whether you want to or not and whether you encourage them.

I have married ex bfs coming to me to pour out their problems. But it stays at that but maybe it's because I'm married and they don't think I'm inclined to want to sleep with them.

Likewise I also hv single ex-bfs coming to me with their problems but they hope that I will sleep with them because I'm the perfect no strings attached partner if I ever sleep with them.

Thing is, I'm very open when I talk. I can share personal stuff and I can talk about sex (not talk dirty though) but that doesn't mean that I will sleep with the guy. I think you just have to be very very clear about that. I talk to my guy friends about sex but I make it very clear to them that just because I talk about it doesn't mean that I"m open to doing it with you. They are all very respectful of that and appreciate that they can talk to me without me taking offense and they respect that I'm not going to have any hanky panky with them.

Works out fine so far.

thanks! it's heartening to know that you managed to get it into their minds that you are not keen on sex. i have an ex, i used to just chat with him as a friend until he decided to start suggesting indecent stuff.. then i told him off and etc and that he shd focus on his wife and kids.. but no use. that guy is still pestering me (msging me) which i ignore until now since 2 years ago but he's still trying!

now this is another ex that is married with kids too, which i just want to maintain as friends. just hope nothing like the last exbf will happen

[Darina]

Originally Posted by becca

thanks! it's heartening to know that you managed to get it into their minds that you are not keen on sex. i have an ex, i used to just chat with him as a friend until he decided to start suggesting indecent stuff.. then i told him off and etc and that he shd focus on his wife and kids.. but no use. that guy is still pestering me (msging me) which i ignore until now since 2 years ago but he's still trying!

now this is another ex that is married with kids too, which i just want to maintain as friends. just hope nothing like the last exbf will happen

Did you tell him straight in the face "I will not sleep with you" besides focusing on his wife and kids? Sometimes if you don't be that direct they think they still hv a chance.

Of course if he disappears after, you are better off without him as a friend anyway.

But I hv to tell you the smarter ones stop the nonsense but let you know that if you ever change yr mind, they are available for booty calls.

[WIBlack]

Like Darina said, just tell them straight in their faces saying "Be good to your family, we can only be normal friends!"

I never have Exs coming to ask me for sex favours (no exs before) but being approached by one samster who keep asking me to be his FB after I posted some comments and started a thread here. I just tell him, no. Most recent try of his, I said Never.

I also have a friend's husband who tried hard to obtain my number from his wife and start asking me out for breakfasts, meals, and told me he is interested to pet with me, and for me to fall into his trap of asking for sex willingly with him. Not once, but twice, thrice. Once he got fustrated of unable to get me, he turned tactic and ask to be friends, and it start all over again untill recently I said NO to him and cut off all contacts.

So, its really up to you, TS to stop him from 'pestering' you although you may like his attention. I am willing to give up getting attention because I rather he be nicer to his family than me being 'one of the third party' to hurt my girlfriend.

Hope you stand firm and know what you are doing.

[sean69]

Originally Posted by becca

many times, the guys end up wanting to have sex with me.. sian of friendship ending up that way.

suddenly.. our agreement to meet for dinner.. became he suggest we meet for movie.. then became suggest we go across the causeway and for no reason mentioned abt if stay until too late then stay overnight!

somehow just feels like something naughty is up his mind or am i too sensitive because of past experience??

Originally Posted by alan0338

if u are sian then y still carry on leh?????

Alan0338.. dun be confused... i think TS likes the thrill and attention of being hunted..

it is very obvious that those men are interested in sex with her.. and i dun think she is that "innocent" not to know that..

like wat some samtress posted, if something is wrong, either tell them off or cut off all contacts..

question is, did TS still continue to maintain contact and giving the horny bastards some lingering hope? .. when she can watapps the guy "ur wife around is it?? " .. she is indirectly telling him that she knows he is married but its ok to continue to flirt !! ..


TS.. welll.... we dun have to be friends ..*hint*...

[becca]

Originally Posted by Darina

Did you tell him straight in the face "I will not sleep with you" besides focusing on his wife and kids? Sometimes if you don't be that direct they think they still hv a chance.

Of course if he disappears after, you are better off without him as a friend anyway.

But I hv to tell you the smarter ones stop the nonsense but let you know that if you ever change yr mind, they are available for booty calls.

yap.. i have told him straight that i will not consider doing anything with him and alwayz ask him to focus on his wife n kid.. still havent disappear, but also haven't stop trying.. still not turnoff by i alwayz talk about his wifey

[becca]

Originally Posted by sean69

Alan0338.. dun be confused... i think TS likes the thrill and attention of being hunted..

it is very obvious that those men are interested in sex with her.. and i dun think she is that "innocent" not to know that..

like wat some samtress posted, if something is wrong, either tell them off or cut off all contacts..

question is, did TS still continue to maintain contact and giving the horny bastards some lingering hope? .. when she can watapps the guy "ur wife around is it?? " .. she is indirectly telling him that she knows he is married but its ok to continue to flirt !! ..


TS.. welll.... we dun have to be friends ..*hint*...

i know men are interested in sex but i still think tat male-female friendships are still possible but seems tat i alwayz unlucky

and hoh.. asking whether wife around is it.. is to try to confirm my suspicions tat there is a need to hide and not encourage to flirt!!!

watz with tat we dun have to be friends hint?

[Slotti]

Originally Posted by becca

i know men are interested in sex but i still think tat male-female friendships are still possible but seems tat i alwayz unlucky

Sexual attraction are naturally inherent btwn both sexes , whether one goes to bed eventually or not , does not matter .
You may have size him up over time & found he can only be a good friend since he is now happily/legally married & he shouldnt have the best of both worlds ... he maybe persistent in pursuing you cos he knows you're soft-hearted & stand a chance to bed you ..
Just let it be, nothing you can do more ( except to break all contacts ) & Iam sure the message is clear to him/ex that you're not in for a sexual r/s ..

[Ljsuckok]

Hello sister, i think you very bo liao lor!

Quote one of them....

Re: Rape fantasies

my bf likes to do that to me to.. grab my ponytail and spank my butt.. i love it too.. always ask him to spank harder and fuck me harder..


Not sure what do you want to achieve in this thread started by you!