Sex life is failing...

[cherielady]

Originally Posted by szczesny

Guys urge for sex will drop, maybe ur hubby going thru' this period. think both of u shd go for some outdoor activities instead of idling around at home....

Okay, thanks for the suggestion!

[cherielady]

Originally Posted by p00t

Sex is a physical & emotional form of communications.

Having common interest & activities helps

Thanks for the suggestions

[cherielady]

Originally Posted by Subconscious

Hi Cherie, I'm in the same shoes as you, but experiencing things from the other side of the fence. Check out my thread in this Adult Discussions folder. My thread has attracted a lot of unwanted attention, including meaningless, irresponsible and sarcastic remarks from many senior Samsters who have made lots of assumptions when they don't know the real story.

I am one known in real life for being ethical and respectful of others' views and desires, so if you trust me on this, we could be friends. I may be able to offer my views from the guy's perspective. Confidentiality is guaranteed. Waiting for your PM.

How do I see your thread?

[cherielady]

Originally Posted by fictionman

How cum u r so SURE he don't find sex outside???

Even if he did, it would be in the past. I am sure he isn't in our current lives due to some factors which I can't explain in a public forum. He reads this forum too, don't want him to know I started a thread about us

[cherielady]

Originally Posted by samdiy

Get some relaxing aromatheraphy scents, watch some r rated movies together-comedyy types to relax perhaps...

Thanks for the suggestions. I shall try to "innocently" stumble on some porn and show him while we are on the bed.

[Tomb]

TS Cherie,

you didn mention if you try to seduce your hubby or make him hard to want him to make love to you.

Are you even trying hard enough? i.e. give him a wet lick on his dick or caress his body?
It is easy to blame others but fail to see what really went wrong.

A lot of men here love their wives to tease him, to pleasure them etc.
Unless you say you suck him and he push you away.
Else, why don you try some foreplay to him first?

[Wipedout]

Originally Posted by cherielady

I try to touch him (is this not an obvious sign that I want to make love???) but he doesn't jump on me like he used to.

Agreed with Tomb, quoting the relevant section of your post. Just touching a little and he's supposed to read your mind? Go wild! Do more!

I notice this common theme from women who post asking why sex has dwindled. They think a sexier outfit and minor touching is going to do the trick.

If you want sex, go and get it! Blow him until he's hard then ride to your own satisfaction. Don't let (shyness/guilt/random lame excuse) get in the way of your pleasure with your husband.

[peanut123]

Possibly. Did you put on a lot of weight since marriage? Are you the "same" girl he used to lust for, physically?

Now, I think for most guys, as long as his wife didn't put on 30kg and doesn't look like a fish-monger, he should still want to have sex with her. Sex is hardwired into a guy's brain, and though he may say no once in a while, he won't say long repeatedly for long periods of time, as he will naturally have the urge too.

So, either something is killing the urge (stress, lack of physical attraction), or he's getting it outside.

If something is killing the urge, you need to talk to him to find out what it is. If he's getting it outside, well, then its a different story.

Does he wank off regularly? When he does have sex with you, does he produce a lot of semen? If he doesn't, then he's been releasing himself, so you then have to find out if he is doing it DIY or with another woman.

Finally, eh, I hate to ask this question, but could your husband be secretly gay?

Originally Posted by cherielady

Thanks, he is quite tired from his job sometimes and stressed about finances at times too. But I would think that despite these, a man would still try to have sex regularly. Could it be (5) he doesn't find me attractive anymore?

[looney83]

If u guys got financial problems, i strongly suggest both of u work it out together.

i don't think its fair to let your husband tied down with all the bills & debts.

Try to talk to him more.

always remember, when the day u guys stop talking to each other. that is where ur downfall start.

so keep chatting with him.

[rooneyrocks]

Just like his i phone, once he is into it, he will get addicted.
So why not do someting different, something sexy.
He watch porn, what type he like n try to experiment with it together with him.

[lateNightyOwl]

Originally Posted by xiaosiami

This is the problem itself!

When smart devices becomes an addiction, it takes over your life including sex life.

Smart devices are killing socialising. People sit together at the same table for a social gathering but are busy whatsapping or FBing others.

So husband and wife in the same room. He plays his games...you watch you videos. His mind is on killing the boss mob to go on to the next level, your mind is on chasing the next episode of sitcom.

Where got the urge? You tell me.

If you still cannot understand, can pm me....i can explain in further details.

I am speaking from experience coz it is happening to me!

I agree with this. iPad, iPhone etc do take your mind off sex, and many other things in fact

[Subconscious]

Originally Posted by cherielady

How do I see your thread?

Sis cherielady, my thread is here:

http://samleong.shop/showthread.php?t=406873

It's true that I'm looking for a FB in that thread, a married lady preferably. However, here I'm offering you my friendship, without expecting anything more. I dare say that I am probably one of only a handful of guys who knows how your hubby feels, as I am in the situation myself. If you are afraid that I will go further, we can be open and chat publicly here. But bear in mind that I will not be able to go into a lot of details without revealing my identity.

[k9er]

Originally Posted by Subconscious

Sis cherielady, my thread is here:

http://samleong.shop/showthread.php?t=406873

It's true that I'm looking for a FB in that thread, a married lady preferably. However, here I'm offering you my friendship, without expecting anything more. I dare say that I am probably one of only a handful of guys who knows how your hubby feels, as I am in the situation myself. If you are afraid that I will go further, we can be open and chat publicly here. But bear in mind that I will not be able to go into a lot of details without revealing my identity.

har low, this lady trying to salvage her marriage and her relationship with her husband.

if you are as decent as you claim, leave this lady alone. you think other guys don't know what you think?

take your romeo someplace else and please, i repeat, if you are as decent as you say you, prove us wrong and leave a lady who loves her husband and WANTS to have sex with HER HUSBAND.

You wanted a FB. don't sugarcoat your ill-intention. it's disgusting.

Yes, guys think like guys. Even indecent ones like me. But at least some of us have real decency and borderline. Don't test the line, especially by trying to appear upright infront of others here.

You think what sort of forum is this? You wanted friends? Join some society club or associations.

[Subconscious]

Bro k9er and crood, I've always hated to hijack others' threads but in this case, you guys are pushing me over the wall. I will just post this one post with regards to your misinterpretation and move on. I believe Sis cherielady deserves better treatment. Sis cherielady, please pardon me for this post - I just want to set the record straight.

First of all, I don't see what the fuss is about. We are all in Sammyboy forum because we feel a need to satisfy our queries, share our findings or otherwise boast about our conquests in the areas of sex and lust, as it is impossible to do that in the mainstream media. I know that there are some young boys in this forum who are single and some attached ones who have yet to lose their virginity, but I dare say at least 70% - 80% of the guys here (like me) are already attached or married and still "tou chi", whether in the company of FBs, WLs, ONS, or what not. I have not done my checks on both of you, and I do not intend to, but I believe I can safely assume more than half the guys in this thread are not decent (myself included, I can admit).

However, just because I started another thread looking for a married FB means I cannot genuinely share in this decent thread, offering a helping hand to a lady who seriously needs help? Is that how things work here? If Mrs Infidelity appears here and offers sound advice, are you guys going to blast her too? And I dare say I am more qualified than all the brothers here, including both of you, because I have one qualification that none of you guys have - I have a sexless marriage. Yes, it's nothing to be proud of, and I am ashamed about it, and I very much envy you guys for having wonderful sex lives. But I am one who always turns adversity into opportunity. If I can help someone lead a better life through my own lousy experience, I would gladly do so, without expecting anything in return.

I have been a motivational trainer for more than ten years, and experience has taught me (and I have been teaching my students too) that we cannot change what others think, but we can definitely change the way we react to others thoughts and actions. Therefore, I have been very tolerant of the negative remarks that have been hurled towards me, trying to ignore them rather than to hurl back abuses (which many other brothers do) and let the thread degenerate into a flame war. However, in spite of all these developments, I do not blame you. I believe you have been misinformed, if only because of the way I typed my posts and the fact that I offered to help in this thread, so soon after I asked for a married FB in another. And of course, offering to help Sis cherielady privately via PM definitely doesn't help matters. And as if this isn't enough, I offered to be her "friend" in my last post. (By the way, by a "friend" here, I meant a fellow Samster out to help, with no other meaning implied.)

If I wanted to, I could have created another account in this forum and posted here using that new account. Then there would be totally no negative association at all with Bro (or DEVIL) Subconscious, and nobody would associate a seemingly-innocent (Wolf in sheep's clothing) fellow Samster here in this thread with a lustful sex maniac looking to devour someone's unsuspecting wife. But is that really necessary? Do I really have to go to that extent to maintain two accounts? Why can't I just be myself? Don't tell me both of you, and ALL the other guys in this thread, do not discuss the merits of this FB or the service of that WL or recount the latest juicy stories in other threads? We are all active in multiple folders and multiple threads. Why should I be judged solely based on what I posted in another thread, which was unhelpfully (and intentionally) referred to here by Bro crood? Like you guys, I chiong outside but I have a sense of decency too. I have a kind heart that I want to share with others. Like many of you, I donated to the typhoon victims in Philippines and I help people around us to the best of our ability, in cash or in kind. I am not trying to test any line. If I have inadvertently given the impression that I am trying to do that, I apologise. Please, leave my other thread alone and let me contribute here.

To show my sincerity and to prove you guys wrong, I will offer my help here publicly for all to see. If Sis cherielady wishes to engage me further for any clarification or further advice (because I am in the same shoes as she is, which all of you guys are not), then she is doing so of her own accord. Sis cherielady, I am putting this statement in public so there is a common understanding between us. You can choose not to PM me if you decide I am a criminal who should be avoided at all costs.

I wish the mini-war to stop here. It is really tiring and very unproductive. Let us get on with helping our dear Sis cherielady. However, if any of you still insists on directing your tirades at me, then so be it. If you think I'm typing a whole load of bullshit here and trying to play reverse psychology, then so be it. I will probably just register a new account and start posting here - And do not worry, I will not mention anything about looking for a FB. I would rather create a new account and start afresh than to carry on with this meaningless war. It has taken up a lot of my time and energy that could have been spent on better causes. If this is the system that operates in this forum, the style that things here are run by, then so be it. After all, I have just returned from a long hiatus, and lots of things have changed (I am probably more senior here than most of you guys and gals are). Give me some time to adjust to this new forum. Have a great evening.

[fictionman]

Originally Posted by Subconscious

Sis cherielady, my thread is here:

http://samleong.shop/showthread.php?t=406873

It's true that I'm looking for a FB in that thread, a married lady preferably. However, here I'm offering you my friendship, without expecting anything more. I dare say that I am probably one of only a handful of guys who knows how your hubby feels, as I am in the situation myself. If you are afraid that I will go further, we can be open and chat publicly here. But bear in mind that I will not be able to go into a lot of details without revealing my identity.

Speechless....