What is True Love?

[free]

Today, I spend some time with my beloved to discuss what are some of the things that we would like the other half to do for us every day. We managed to list down a set of minimum things-to-do (only a few items each, lah).

We felt that it is both good and important to do that, starting from the morning where we will make an effort to make each other's day, and finally ending with our daily good night kisses. Hope this process will take root to a point where it becomes automatic for us. So with each other's minimum desired expectations and needs met, hopefully it will set the tone and free us to do other nice things and give each othe nice surprises, and looking out for each other's happiness.

We are learning that True Love needs to be worked on, and not take the things we do for each other for granted. Something I learnt from Miss R that we have put into practice - thank each other for even small things, things as simple as when we tell each other "Chan rak ter" (or equivalent).

[mayday]

wat is true love....may i ask, does one often end up with the one u love for the rest of yr life aka marriage?

i guess the answer is a NO...then may i ask agian...y get married in the 1st place? y be stuck with someone who isnt the love of yer life for the rest of yer life and also having a soft spot for that THE ONE? is this fair to u and yer wife?

any bros with answers? or some discussions on this?

[MachoDevilX]

Originally Posted by mayday

wat is true love....may i ask, does one often end up with the one u love for the rest of yr life aka marriage?

i guess the answer is a NO...then may i ask agian...y get married in the 1st place? y be stuck with someone who isnt the love of yer life for the rest of yer life and also having a soft spot for that THE ONE? is this fair to u and yer wife?

any bros with answers? or some discussions on this?

Well... I will say that you have point out a good topic for discussion.

As we grow older, our expectations of our lifelong partner often changes with time. This is perhaps due to our experiences of life that we have been through in which changes our perceptions of what we want.

When we are still young in our teens or early twenties, we often follow our heart blindly. It means we often do things based on our heart rather than based on reality... That was why when we choose our gfs, we often choose the one we like the best and not the one who suit us the most. I believe that a lot of the bros will agree with me that a normal human being, regardless of whether is a guy or girl, will fall in love with more than one person. Hence, when we are young, we often choose girls whom we like and it is based purely by my heart.

As we grow older, our perceptions of life-long partner changes. We no longer look for girls purely based on feelings. Certain requirements such as whether or not the girl can understand us, whether or not the girl suit our character, whether or not we can live together with the girl in harmony, whether the girl's thinking is somehow alike with us etc. will come into our thoughts... It is more than just plain feelings. Of course certain feelings must be there in order for the relationship to work out but definitely not the so-called "most loved". This is applicable to girls as well. Therefore, a lot of us will very often not able to marry the one whom we so-called love the most since a lot of factors will come into place. "Timing", "Environment" and "situation" will often be the factor that will affect our choice of life-long partner.

Hence, those who have already married, treasure your partner. He/she might not be the one whom you love the most. But he/she could be the one whom you can live with and understand you the most...

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by mayday

wat is true love....may i ask, does one often end up with the one u love for the rest of yr life aka marriage?

i guess the answer is a NO...then may i ask agian...y get married in the 1st place? y be stuck with someone who isnt the love of yer life for the rest of yer life and also having a soft spot for that THE ONE? is this fair to u and yer wife?

any bros with answers? or some discussions on this?

The question should be what is the "love of your life"? rather than what is true love? Also your statement, although theoritically has some logic does not stand realistically. When you get married, you do not think that the other party is not the one you would love for the rest of your life. If you did, you would not have married.

What you guess, is also wrong. Whatever or whoever gives you the idea that one doesn't often end up with the one you love for the rest of your life? Or if you insist you're right in your guess, could you please provide some facts to back it up?

I have checked with my parents. Although my mom says that she had many suitors when she was young, and my dad isn't lack of GFs, and although through the years of marriage there were quarrels, although both my parents are of different religions, although very often my mom would complain about my dad like she sometimes can't stand him, etc, etc, both my parents have told me if they had to go thru life again, they would have married each other. Maybe you should check with your parents too.

I have been married 3 times. Yes 3 times. The first time ended in divorce because we felt we were not made to be man and wife. Period. The second time ended in divorce because I felt she wasn't the one. Period. The 3rd one, as it is, is what I feel the one I would want to spend my entire life with, til death do us part. Have my wife and I had differences? Sure. Do I cheong, have flings along the way? Definitely! Have I meet anyone whom I thought would make a better companion for me? Plenty! But no, considering all facts, my wife is the one I love and if I had to go thru life, I would still marry her and spend my life with her.

So don't let a minority few cloud your mind to make it feel that the world is like what you think of.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by MachoDevilX

As we grow older, our expectations of our lifelong partner often changes with time.........

As we grow older, our perceptions of life-long partner changes.....

Hence, those who have already married, treasure your partner. He/she might not be the one whom you love the most. But he/she could be the one whom you can live with and understand you the most...

Kekekekekekeke, I really admire MDX for all his advises leh...

[medicheng]

What MDX wrote is quite true. Think I am now going thru the process of from young to old, for choosing wat I like to choosing wat is suitable for me.... maybe I am trying to combined both properties together? haha

[MachoDevilX]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Kekekekekekeke, I really admire MDX for all his advises leh...

Bro, I also need your advices leh.... But then more or less, I have thought of it already... I won't proceed up to the extend of home run... maybe just run half-way first and see what follows after that...(You should know what I mean) We will talk again when you are back in SG...

I will always offer my "humble" views and advices to anyone who approaches me or write in this thread...

Originally Posted by MachoDevilX

Bro, I also need your advices leh.... But then more or less, I have thought of it already... I won't proceed up to the extend of home run... maybe just run half-way first and see what follows after that...(You should know what I mean) We will talk again when you are back in SG...

I will always offer my "humble" views and advices to anyone who approaches me or write in this thread...

Yap, IMHO, i feel that bro MDX and bro TV have gone through alot in life n their experiences speak 4 themselves, it is sumtink tt newbies like myself, both in love n chonging, have 2 learn from them.. Bros, u have my respect! *Salutes* !

[mayday]

Originally Posted by MachoDevilX

As we grow older, our expectations of our lifelong partner often changes with time. This is perhaps due to our experiences of life that we have been through in which changes our perceptions of what we want..

..most since a lot of factors will come into place. "Timing", "Environment" and "situation" will often be the factor that will affect our choice of life-long partner.

yeh, i agree w u bro macho, but somehow there is still this bitter taste left behind even when u understand such choices/things. maybe i still wanna live in a fairy tale world, wanting to spend my life with my most loved..hahaha

then again, marriage this type of thing, plain feelings will not substain it all the way also, responsibility and give and take comes into play as well.

haiz, maybe should stop viewing the world thru rose tinted glasses. haha

[mayday]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

When you get married, you do not think that the other party is not the one you would love for the rest of your life. If you did, you would not have married. .

sorry bro...cant catch yer ball on this statement...can make it slightly clearer?

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Whatever or whoever gives you the idea that one doesn't often end up with the one you love for the rest of your life? Or if you insist you're right in your guess, could you please provide some facts to back it up?.

of cos i wun insist that my guess is 100 percent rite..but from finding out informally amongst my frens..most also think that only really lucky ppl can spend the rest of their life with the most loved person. others think that most probably they will choose someone who suits them ,like wat bro macho has mentioned.

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

my wife is the one I love and if I had to go thru life, I would still marry her and spend my life with her..

if thats the way u feel, then i would really wanna congratulate u. cos after all, we are all just after our own happiness and from the looks of it, u have found yers.

[Vaseline]

Originally Posted by mayday

wat is true love....may i ask, does one often end up with the one u love for the rest of yr life aka marriage?

i guess the answer is a NO...then may i ask agian...y get married in the 1st place? y be stuck with someone who isnt the love of yer life for the rest of yer life and also having a soft spot for that THE ONE? is this fair to u and yer wife?

any bros with answers? or some discussions on this?

Sometimes u get married for companionship,
For the one u love the most, may not be the best companion....or i should say fate doesn't allows......
To me there is a difference between love and commitment. You can love someone till the end of time. But in the middle of the relationship can you promise not to fall for a better looking guys/gals?
If you are commited, you will make an effort to stay on the track. Avoiding any temptation that comes to you.......

Cheers

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by mayday

sorry bro...cant catch yer ball on this statement...can make it slightly clearer?

You asked "does one often end up with the one u love for the rest of yr life aka marriage?" and you gave the answer as "no" and asked "y get married in the 1st place? y be stuck with someone who isnt the love of yer life for the rest of yer life "

I'm saying that if from the start you know that this is the girl whom you do not love for the rest of your life, you would not have married her.

of cos i wun insist that my guess is 100 percent rite..but from finding out informally amongst my frens..most also think that only really lucky ppl can spend the rest of their life with the most loved person. others think that most probably they will choose someone who suits them ,like wat bro macho has mentioned.

You have a few friends who like all of us, sometimes talk for the sake of talking in general.

First, they are a very, very, small percentage of all men lah..

Secondly, they are only giving you "coffeeshop talk" not their "real" thought-out answer.

Let me put it this way. If they witness a guy raping a woman, what would they do? Probably help the girl but not to the extend of killing the rapist. That's being human. But if they happen to come across their wives being rape, what do they do? Probably kill the rapist. If that is not love, then I don't know what is.

BTW, if their answer for their wives is the same as the normal girl, I guess they should get a divorce immediately to be fair to their wives.

if thats the way u feel, then i would really wanna congratulate u. cos after all, we are all just after our own happiness and from the looks of it, u have found yers.

Happiness is not difficult to find. When you want to marry a girl, take a good look, visualise her in her old age together with you. If this is the woman whom you want to really spend the rest of your life, that you've found happiness.

[Blue_gal]

I would like to know is this the meaning of TRUE LOVE?

I knew UNCLE for almost a year +. He was posted to oversea working ever since we started our r/s. We will try to meet up whenever there is holiday.

I used to FLING when i am not attached. (not alot but if i NEED there is always someone i can ask from) Even since i gets to KNOW UNCLE, i had stopped seeing them...UNCLE is always not in sg, i can go out and "HAPPENDING" again But i choose not TO...I tends to LOSE interest in FLING and when they called/sms me i would tell them i am ATTACHED and will never "entertain" them..(knowing that SEX will be involved).....

Another funny thing is that ever since i am ATTACHED i am not that HORNY as compared to before (those flings i had before).....

Of course when UNCLE come back we still does MAKE LOVE......

Is this "faithful or TRUE LOVE or STUPID"?

Confuse
BitChy Blue AUnt|e

[BigGuy]

Originally Posted by Blue_gal

I would like to know is this the meaning of TRUE LOVE?

I knew UNCLE for almost a year +. He was posted to oversea working ever since we started our r/s. We will try to meet up whenever there is holiday.

I used to FLING when i am not attached. (not alot but if i NEED there is always someone i can ask from) Even since i gets to KNOW UNCLE, i had stopped seeing them...UNCLE is always not in sg, i can go out and "HAPPENDING" again But i choose not TO...I tends to LOSE interest in FLING and when they called/sms me i would tell them i am ATTACHED and will never "entertain" them..(knowing that SEX will be involved).....

Another funny thing is that ever since i am ATTACHED i am not that HORNY as compared to before (those flings i had before).....

Of course when UNCLE come back we still does MAKE LOVE......

Is this "faithful or TRUE LOVE or STUPID"?

Confuse
BitChy Blue AUnt|e

First thing to your posting.......

SEX involved in all relationships regardless if it's a fling, GF/BF or married couples.

What u r heading into now is a mixed of being faithful, trustworthy, in love and being stupid. For a start you tends to be very into sex, there after you want to stablize the relationship by spending more meaning time together.U can spend 10 years together and it's likely nothing but merely a sex object to each other even if married lor.

In a nutshell, what u r facing r a mix of everything u can describe.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by Blue_gal

I would like to know is this the meaning of TRUE LOVE?
Is this "faithful or TRUE LOVE or STUPID"?

Confuse
BitChy Blue AUnt|e

Only YOU know the answer to your question.