Thank you very much to the 2 sweet wifeys here, sis Ccsor & cutebabe86, for speaking from the wifey's POV & for understanding the problems of so many husbands trying to hv sex wif their own wives from both angles. So nice of them to come out here to give their encouragement & ideas to hubbies to keep on coaxing their wives for sex & not give up...3 cheers to them for their positivity & efforts to help solve this long standing problem by giving their wifey encouragement !! ..T.Q again babes !
You may be right. Fyi i am the one doing the foreplay every single session and he's nvr the type to go into foreplay, none at all haha. So end up during the 10 to 15 mins of sex, i will always end up unsatisfied n feel no connection.
As I am in sales, i met many types of ppl and have a suitors along the way. I have stayed faithful all this while until one man come along recently and I kinda got involved with him (i know i may get reprimanded for this sign). But at times when we are at our weakest, we tends to fall. Thats why i say you are right.
I tell you this is definitely not a good feeling. Cos nobody would expect to have a failed marriage but sometimes its the circumstances that changes us (i am not having any excuses cos i am in the wrong too).
My hubby kinda lost me because i am neglected both emotionally and physically bah.
So my point is two persons must make it a point to communicate and make effort in a marriage no matter how long and how many years. Dun follow in my footsteps.
Wish me all the best in my rocky marriage.
Hi Ccsor, I can relate to wat u r gg through. Initially I'm puzzled why hubby isn't keen to hv regular sex w me. For past year, I've been hankering after n pressurizing him, he begin to come to me but he can only make it once a week. We've been tog since I was 18 n now I'm in my mid-30 and he's a decade older, so I think, mayb he feels sexing w me is boring. I feel cut-off sexing w him too, as he only takes care of his own needs. I've to do everything for foreplay - BJ, licking even got to do my own self service while he lazily lie there. He doesn't go down on me (said he doesn't like to do it) n rejected my frenching attempts. Recently, I told him I wanna give him a massage n he just said he's not into it. When I told him, I like to parade in lingerie for his viewing, he said he's not into tt as well. However, he likes to watch porn but has recently totally stopped due to my pressurizing. I told him I can always dress up n be his porn gal or game for anything he fantasise if it's within my natural means. He merely responded he is unadventurous in sex.
So it's just BJ and then he will lick me abit and then can't wait to penetrate. Is decades old sex relegated to such unconnected sex? He finds it okie but this kinda sex doesn't satisfy me. Is he behaving normal in decades old relationship or is he abnormal or simply not interested in sexing w me? Do u think I can ever get him to change?
Hi Ccsor, I can relate to wat u r gg through. Initially I'm puzzled why hubby isn't keen to hv regular sex w me. For past year, I've been hankering after n pressurizing him, he begin to come to me but he can only make it once a week. We've been tog since I was 18 n now I'm in my mid-30 and he's a decade older, so I think, mayb he feels sexing w me is boring. I feel cut-off sexing w him too, as he only takes care of his own needs. I've to do everything for foreplay - BJ, licking even got to do my own self service while he lazily lie there. He doesn't go down on me (said he doesn't like to do it) n rejected my frenching attempts. Recently, I told him I wanna give him a massage n he just said he's not into it. When I told him, I like to parade in lingerie for his viewing, he said he's not into tt as well. However, he likes to watch porn but has recently totally stopped due to my pressurizing. I told him I can always dress up n be his porn gal or game for anything he fantasise if it's within my natural means. He merely responded he is unadventurous in sex. So it's just BJ and then he will lick me abit and then can't wait to penetrate. Is decades old sex relegated to such unconnected sex? He finds it okie but this kinda sex doesn't satisfy me. Is he behaving normal in decades old relationship or is he abnormal or simply not interested in sexing w me? Do u think I can ever get him to change?
Whenever I saw a female writing in such a thread I always feel so envy and angry with the hubby.
Cos I am such the opposite and have been waiting and waiting for more than 3 yrs.
It is really contradicting at times...
Without her, I always think of sexing with her
But when she is there, it gives me that anger why she always rejected me.
Why must I always get rejected...rejection is very painful.
So sad to hear tis, but wat is yr problem wif yr wife, bro machinetan ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by darylcch
Whenever I saw a female writing in such a thread I always feel so envy and angry with the hubby.
Cos I am such the opposite and have been waiting and waiting for more than 3 yrs.
It is really contradicting at times...
Without her, I always think of sexing with her
But when she is there, it gives me that anger why she always rejected me.
Why must I always get rejected...rejection is very painful.
Yes, rejection is the worst feeling for any human being, to bear...yes, it is very, very painful indeed !
Quote:
Originally Posted by kjjsexy
Hi Ccsor, I can relate to wat u r gg through. Initially I'm puzzled why hubby isn't keen to hv regular sex w me. For past year, I've been hankering after n pressurizing him, he begin to come to me but he can only make it once a week. We've been tog since I was 18 n now I'm in my mid-30 and he's a decade older, so I think, mayb he feels sexing w me is boring. I feel cut-off sexing w him too, as he only takes care of his own needs. I've to do everything for foreplay - BJ, licking even got to do my own self service while he lazily lie there. He doesn't go down on me (said he doesn't like to do it) n rejected my frenching attempts. Recently, I told him I wanna give him a massage n he just said he's not into it. When I told him, I like to parade in lingerie for his viewing, he said he's not into tt as well. However, he likes to watch porn but has recently totally stopped due to my pressurizing. I told him I can always dress up n be his porn gal or game for anything he fantasise if it's within my natural means. He merely responded he is unadventurous in sex.
So it's just BJ and then he will lick me abit and then can't wait to penetrate. Is decades old sex relegated to such unconnected sex? He finds it okie but this kinda sex doesn't satisfy me. Is he behaving normal in decades old relationship or is he abnormal or simply not interested in sexing w me? Do u think I can ever get him to change?
Oh dear, sis kjsexy, yr hubby doesnt realise wat a good wifey he has beside him !...wifeys like you, Ccsor & cutebabe86 & a few others are very rare to find...those who like or are willing to initiate sex wif their hubbies ! ...many wifeys as they grow older are simply not interested to hv sex wif their husbands anymore for various reasons..sigh.
Logically speaking, Sex just like anything else can become mundane, when done over & over again w/o variations wif the same person, same place, same method, same usual routine etc...but at least, yr hubby does lick you & want to penetrate you..*wink*.
Suggestions >> Tink you need to know yr man, wat fires his passion & frm there slowly connect it to sex wif you...surprise him in all ways possible both sexually & non-sexually i.e. doing things tat you know pleases him 1st w/o telling him cos usually the element of "surprise" works wonders & maybe play "hide & seek", "peek-a-boo" or role-play wif him in yr bedroom...not sure if these will really work, but there's no harm trying i suppose...using toys may also help the process for some..not easy i know, need a lot of effort on yr part, sis...
Empathize deeply wif you & other wifeys likewise affected, tat you all do not get to enjoy sex to the max wif the respective hubbies you are married to...for which you all so richly deserve & entitled to under the terms of the marriage contract...my view is tat neither party shd deny the other the pleasures of sex in a marriage...but i still believe tat all guys are horny & in the right time, right place, right girl, right circumstances etc they will show it...just my 2 cents worth of tots..
So sad to hear tis, but wat is yr problem wif yr wife, bro machinetan ??
Yes, rejection is the worst feeling for any human being, to bear...yes, it is very, very painful indeed !
Oh dear, sis kjsexy, yr hubby doesnt realise wat a good wifey he has beside him !...wifeys like you, Ccsor & cutebabe86 & a few others are very rare to find...those who like or are willing to initiate sex wif their hubbies ! ...many wifeys as they grow older are simply not interested to hv sex wif their husbands anymore for various reasons..sigh.
Logically speaking, Sex just like anything else can become mundane, when done over & over again w/o variations wif the same person, same place, same method, same usual routine etc...but at least, yr hubby does lick you & want to penetrate you..*wink*.
Suggestions >> Tink you need to know yr man, wat fires his passion & frm there slowly connect it to sex wif you...surprise him in all ways possible both sexually & non-sexually i.e. doing things tat you know pleases him 1st w/o telling him cos usually the element of "surprise" works wonders & maybe play "hide & seek", "peek-a-boo" or role-play wif him in yr bedroom...not sure if these will really work, but there's no harm trying i suppose...using toys may also help the process for some..not easy i know, need a lot of effort on yr part, sis...
Empathize deeply wif you & other wifeys likewise affected, tat you all do not get to enjoy sex to the max wif the respective hubbies you are married to...for which you all so richly deserve & entitled to under the terms of the marriage contract...my view is tat neither party shd deny the other the pleasures of sex in a marriage...but i still believe tat all guys are horny & in the right time, right place, right girl, right circumstances etc they will show it...just my 2 cents worth of tots..
Rickey & Darylcch, thanx for yr empathy.
I jus tried to hv an open dialogue w hubby the other day to discuss wat i can do to help. I feel the issue is with me, n not him. To him, he's satisfied leading a life like this n keep ensuring me he shows me love in a lot other ways not limited to sex n I should change my mindset. He also said he's under a lot of stress being the main provider for the family and feel tt once a week is the best he can do. When I ask for cuddles in bed n nothing more for say another time in a week to feel emotionally connected, he said he's v stressed n prefers to hug his pillow to sleep. I think he might b having depression... But I'm a normal woman and so feel v trapped w a hubby like tt.
Hi Ccsor, I can relate to wat u r gg through. Initially I'm puzzled why hubby isn't keen to hv regular sex w me. For past year, I've been hankering after n pressurizing him, he begin to come to me but he can only make it once a week. We've been tog since I was 18 n now I'm in my mid-30 and he's a decade older, so I think, mayb he feels sexing w me is boring. I feel cut-off sexing w him too, as he only takes care of his own needs. I've to do everything for foreplay - BJ, licking even got to do my own self service while he lazily lie there. He doesn't go down on me (said he doesn't like to do it) n rejected my frenching attempts. Recently, I told him I wanna give him a massage n he just said he's not into it. When I told him, I like to parade in lingerie for his viewing, he said he's not into tt as well. However, he likes to watch porn but has recently totally stopped due to my pressurizing. I told him I can always dress up n be his porn gal or game for anything he fantasise if it's within my natural means. He merely responded he is unadventurous in sex.
So it's just BJ and then he will lick me abit and then can't wait to penetrate. Is decades old sex relegated to such unconnected sex? He finds it okie but this kinda sex doesn't satisfy me. Is he behaving normal in decades old relationship or is he abnormal or simply not interested in sexing w me? Do u think I can ever get him to change?
Dear sis, i can relate and understand how you feel. No matter how we try to avoid, the passion in sex tends to wear off as yrs goes by.
For my case, its very simple cos i found out he betray me, so i hv more or less accepted that the sexuality attraction has fades off. Sometimes i wish i nvr know.
As for ur hubby, like what he say he may be having stress with him work that cause him to lose interest in sex. U may see if he's open to talk. I ask mine for so many years and he nvr give me a reply. Until i find out through a male friend how to tag his locations by peeking at his phone.
Of cos i am not saying u should doubt him. Have a good talk with him on his root problem. any changes in his habits or behavior? However if he does mention he will not tell in the end, like in my case. Dun feel disheartened.
Men look for excitement in sex generally maybe not all. So the thing is how to keep this excitement with ur hubby is a challenge. All i can say is try with him. I wouldnt hope u end up like me, fall for another when not supposed to be.
Good luck to u.
Whenever I saw a female writing in such a thread I always feel so envy and angry with the hubby.
Cos I am such the opposite and have been waiting and waiting for more than 3 yrs.
It is really contradicting at times...
Without her, I always think of sexing with her
But when she is there, it gives me that anger why she always rejected me.
Why must I always get rejected...rejection is very painful.
Sometimes i find amusing leh. U know wat, generally men eats out when their women fails to give them sex.
But even when women gives their husband sex, they still not contented. It makes us ponder what's wrong. Maybe this is something women can't understand.
I jus tried to hv an open dialogue w hubby the other day to discuss wat i can do to help. I feel the issue is with me, n not him. To him, he's satisfied leading a life like this n keep ensuring me he shows me love in a lot other ways not limited to sex n I should change my mindset. He also said he's under a lot of stress being the main provider for the family and feel tt once a week is the best he can do. When I ask for cuddles in bed n nothing more for say another time in a week to feel emotionally connected, he said he's v stressed n prefers to hug his pillow to sleep. I think he might b having depression... But I'm a normal woman and so feel v trapped w a hubby like tt.
Deeply empathize wif you sis kjsexy...you now know wats your problem & I believe you are quite clear of wat is the solution for you, but yet it's not so easy to take up the solution which is not too good for yr marriage...sigh...seems like there's nothing very much you can do but maybe you shd help yr hubby out of his depression 1st, help him lessen his stress as you mentioned b4 considering other options & hopefully yr sexual relationship wif him could be back on track,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ccsor
Sometimes i find amusing leh. U know wat, generally men eats out when their women fails to give them sex.
But even when women gives their husband sex, they still not contented. It makes us ponder what's wrong. Maybe this is something women can't understand.
Best is if he tells you why straight in the face...but in cases like yours, dear sis Ccsor...one can come to the conclusion tat the husband is not satisfied wif his wife for certain particular reasons & one of them is most likely tat he is looking for variety of women...esp so if there seems no other valid reasons for him not to hv & enjoy sex wif his wifey !..I tink tis proverb is very, very true !..."familiarity breeds contempt" which causes the marital love to slowly fade away wif time...so the solution maybe to re-invent yr love-making from the usual norm..i/o more of the same every time, giv him surprises now & then & shower him wif more of yr love by various & all means possible etc, etc...tis may help to restore the sexual relationship back to normal like as if on your wedding nite...just my 2 cents..
Deeply empathize wif you sis kjsexy...you now know wats your problem & I believe you are quite clear of wat is the solution for you, but yet it's not so easy to take up the solution which is not too good for yr marriage...sigh...seems like there's nothing very much you can do but maybe you shd help yr hubby out of his depression 1st, help him lessen his stress as you mentioned b4 considering other options & hopefully yr sexual relationship wif him could be back on track,
Best is if he tells you why straight in the face...but in cases like yours, dear sis Ccsor...one can come to the conclusion tat the husband is not satisfied wif his wife for certain particular reasons & one of them is most likely tat he is looking for variety of women...esp so if there seems no other valid reasons for him not to hv & enjoy sex wif his wifey !..I tink tis proverb is very, very true !..."familiarity breeds contempt" which causes the marital love to slowly fade away wif time...so the solution maybe to re-invent yr love-making from the usual norm..i/o more of the same every time, giv him surprises now & then & shower him wif more of yr love by various & all means possible etc, etc...tis may help to restore the sexual relationship back to normal like as if on your wedding nite...just my 2 cents..
You are right. Its rather difficult to handle the psychological barrier as in my because my husband still wants to touch me. Also, its difficult for a woman to put behind what's happened and to love the husband again. It takes time cos i have gone through a trauma in a way. Devastated kinda feeling. Marital love has suffered in a way, with me turning my attention to someone else. he kinda felt it and asked if i hv someone else. What i have for him is my commitment and becos of my gal, i simply dun wan her grow up in a broken family. Most of times,
It it often kinda late to realised and win bk something which u are losing. So men and women, try not to take things for granted. Life is still beautiful.
24-03-2015, 12:39 AM
...many wifeys as they grow older are simply not interested to hv sex wif their husbands anymore for various reasons..sigh.
