The Price of My stupidity

[misallocated]

Hi dear bro's out there,

the following experience of mine serves neither as a warning or as a precautionary tale. I'm writing this so as to better sort out my inner feelings and emotions.

In retrospect, I do not think that I am a person filled with lust and horniness. I have a steady girlfriend whom I intend to marry soon. But, just like any man out there, I do have the ocassional wants and needs to try something/someone else.

Till date, my forays into the commercial scene have been limited to KTV outings, massages with happy endings and some Freelancers. All in, I estimate that I would have had commercial sex with 10 to maybe 15 different sex workers over the last 3 years.

One common occurence amongst all of them is that I always use protection. Even for a blowjob, nothing goes barebacked. I guess that the sex education in our school system has played its part and I am a firm believer in safe sex, regardless paid or not, young or old. Till now....

I hooked up recently with a certain Freelance massuse whom I shall not reveal her name or details,to protect her's and my privacy. She's famous for giving top notch massages and ends it off with a decent handjob along with some roaming, top only. Also, she's known for NOT providing any blowjobs or sex to new or regular customers though my understanding is that some bros out that have tried.

Sometime this week, I arranged for a session with her. I am a pretty chatty guy being in the sales industry and after a number of sessions, we had become pretty accustomed and friendly so it was easy talking to her.After the massage, she continued with her handjob but somehow, this time, things were different.

Emotions ran high, I wasn't thinking straight , neither was she I think, one thing led to another she said it would be nice to have sex after such a long time. Thing was, there wasn't a condom around. Not being able to think straight, I just did it raw. Yeap, raw. Dumb as hell, you practise 3 years worth of safe sex and throw it out of the window in one session.

She allowed me to come inside, saying her period had just ended and it should be safe. Guess what ? yeap, came in her. Another dumb move. So thats 2 dumb moves in a row.

Why am I worried ? On the drive back, I was thinking...f**k..she says she doesn't do it with anyone. How the hell would I know if she did ? Even if not with her customers, what about her husband back in her hometown? He might not have been keeping it in his pants while she's away right?

She allowed me to do it raw and come inside probably says the either of 2 things. She's either very confident that Im safe and clean or she has really bad sex education knowledge. Either ways, it does nothing for me.

RIght now, I've got a headache, abit of sore throat, which I don't know whether to attribute to the f**king haze or have I really got it ? The dread A word....


I've been reading up, the risk of HIV increases during menstruation, and I definitely saw some blood stains on the towel after the dumb act. I was in her for less than 2 mins max , cause the handjob prior had gotten me seriously aroused and pumped up. Still is that even a consolation or redeeming factor ?

Yeap, I know, get tested. After so much reading , I know exactly where, how, the procedures to get tested. I will go get tested. But I can only do it in a one month time and further confirm the results in 3 months. How the fuck is time going to pass with all the pessimistic thoughts running through my head ?

I'm fucked....

Stupidity comes with a fucking price....deal with it.

Will be updating my post detailing my thoughts and feelings as the day goes by....just to string them into words I guess....

Take care guys.

[slickdick87]

Bro u got go check up? R u tested Positive?

[kgbkgb]

meanwhile, pl abstain. if not, condom is a must. u dun wanna put anyone else at risk.

[sammyboyfor]

Bro u got go check up? R u tested Positive?

Are you some sort of moron or what?:rolleyes: Can't you read?:eek:


Yeap, I know, get tested. After so much reading , I know exactly where, how, the procedures to get tested. I will go get tested. But I can only do it in a one month time and further confirm the results in 3 months. How the fuck is time going to pass with all the pessimistic thoughts running through my head ?

[thedocisin]

bro,

sorry to hear bout that man.
if it hasn't been 3 days you might want to consider going on HIV PEP.
http://www.drtanandpartners.com/there-is-no-cure-for-hiv-except%e2%80%a6/

otherwise you can consider getting the HIV PCR or P24 done.
can put your mind at ease without having to wait 3 months.

good luck to you bro. keep us posted.

[keiji]

Dear Bro,

The coughs may be due to the haze, HIV or AIDS wont show that soon, it takes a while before the signs show. Cool bro..

cheers!

[nokia88]

There was a time after aroused i was without a condom after massage . Quickly dress up go downstairs buy and went back into room with it . No doubt more troublesome but its for the benefit of both of us .

Now i always carry 1 with me . Take care bro .

[ilovesingapore]

there is no such thing as 100% safe sex even with CD!!!

[RealEstateGuy]

Brother, I don't seem to be the most popular guy on this forum due to advocating safe sex and more importantly a complete lifestyle change away from promiscuous activity. It goes against the culture here, especially on some of the sub thread discussions, but I really hope you will be OK and let this be a learning experience for yourself and others, including myself, that sex is not a game. I mean brother the intensity of the moment is like an euphoric drunk state and when on the kind of high you were on causes one to lose common sense. Brother, I hope you will be OK and keep sane for the time being. The principal way to avoid this prospectively is to avoid such situations. SG society is falling apart and at its seams with rampant promiscuity beyond the conventional.

[superleo]

Bro, dont worry about it, illness can be cured with medication and aids is very unlikely unless you are so suay!

What is more scary is that she tell you that she is pregnant with your child a month later. Then HOW! This will turn you up side down man!

[johnhandsome]

huh..next time pls think twice before you do that... life is precious!

[gills001]

Bro, god bless you.. Hope eventually it's negative..

[woot]

i feel you dude, had the same experience but this time it was no fault of mine since i always do it with the condom on but the damn thing burst so i couldn't sleep for ages.

What i did was get one of those portable aids test kits and booked the girl for another time and did a test on her which proved negative.

I followed this up with a test of my own a few months back which was also negative.

Since then l've been very careful but sometimes in the heat of moment i guess one can do some stupid shit.

take care!

[Martell99]

bro pray hard hope everything is ok... most important is dun do it wif yr gf during dis period of time until you are confirm safe, i'm sure you dun wish to hurt her rite...
anyway bro relax la not so heng 1st time will kenna... hope you learn from dis lesson dun let yr little bro control you...

[misallocated]

Dear Bro's

thanks for the kind words and advice (yes boss sammyboy, I noticed that you place particular emphasis on this word, hence the need to underline :)

In fact, one bro gave a brillant, out-of-my-box idea about buying the test kit and getting the FL massuse to test for HIV. I really think thats a great idea, I would love to proceed with it but the thing is, how do I put it across to her ?

I like to think that I have high EQ and it seems to me that if I ask her to test, it would seem that I don't trust her and she might even deem it insulting since she has reiterated to her customers and on the forums that she DOES NOT do FJs.

Its not like there's any emtional entanglement involved, but I wouldn't want to piss her off and end up having to wait for another nail-biting 3 weeks.

So i'm sure that there has to be a nice and tacit way to put my message across without pissing her off since technically, she can help alleviate some of my worries for awhile but I need some creative ways to ask her.

Help needed here brothers.

An update on my emotional and physical well-being. Emotions wise, my nerves are a wreck. I have to continue being my normal gregarious self with my parents, gfs, colleauges , friends and customers and it is draining me. Try faking a smile and cracking jokes when your mind is constantly going," what the f**k have I done to myself ??!!!"

Part of my job involves entertaining my clients, bring them out for drinks at KTVs etc and the girls there do not interest me one bit at all....I would rather stay home and mope about what i stupidly did and how is it gonna affect my loved ones ? I mean, what the hell are they gonna say about me at the fucking funeral ???

Physical-wise, yes I know that symptoms do not kick in early, but still , the headaches have progressed to fevers and a flu , could be due to the weather, but , is it too much of a concidence ? I read that there's a possibility of a high fever in 3 weeks so I'm counting down but trying my best to lead a healthy lifestyle to try and prevent it from coming so as to falsely take it as a sign that things are gonna be allright.

Went to visit my new place with my GF today, great place, great facilities. She was decribing how she wants to do up the place, where's our dog gonna sleep , showing me her shortlisted IDs, cause it was over first place and she's really enthusiastic. My heart had the "sour" feeling. If things do go wrong, how to tell her ? How do i tell someone that I'm gonna ruin her life plans ?

Once again, im fucked. Nice.

[nokia88]

There are others like hep b that can spread through bodily contact too .

[turtlepower]

bro,

keep dwelling into what has happened won't reverse the process.
What's most impt now is to check yurself and get back into health.
Going DSC for full check up is one option, but a minor STD will means
yur identity could b exposed and who know might lead to another issue
if family members know.
Another option is to make an appt n see Dr. Tan at OUB.
Private sexual health screening.
Forget about void deck GPs.
If u have the courage to do it raw, brace yourself once more and do a thorough check with Dr Tan.
Wish you good luck!

Dear Bro's

thanks for the kind words and advice (yes boss sammyboy, I noticed that you place particular emphasis on this word, hence the need to underline :)

In fact, one bro gave a brillant, out-of-my-box idea about buying the test kit and getting the FL massuse to test for HIV. I really think thats a great idea, I would love to proceed with it but the thing is, how do I put it across to her ?

I like to think that I have high EQ and it seems to me that if I ask her to test, it would seem that I don't trust her and she might even deem it insulting since she has reiterated to her customers and on the forums that she DOES NOT do FJs.

Its not like there's any emtional entanglement involved, but I wouldn't want to piss her off and end up having to wait for another nail-biting 3 weeks.

So i'm sure that there has to be a nice and tacit way to put my message across without pissing her off since technically, she can help alleviate some of my worries for awhile but I need some creative ways to ask her.

Help needed here brothers.

An update on my emotional and physical well-being. Emotions wise, my nerves are a wreck. I have to continue being my normal gregarious self with my parents, gfs, colleauges , friends and customers and it is draining me. Try faking a smile and cracking jokes when your mind is constantly going," what the f**k have I done to myself ??!!!"

Part of my job involves entertaining my clients, bring them out for drinks at KTVs etc and the girls there do not interest me one bit at all....I would rather stay home and mope about what i stupidly did and how is it gonna affect my loved ones ? I mean, what the hell are they gonna say about me at the fucking funeral ???

Physical-wise, yes I know that symptoms do not kick in early, but still , the headaches have progressed to fevers and a flu , could be due to the weather, but , is it too much of a concidence ? I read that there's a possibility of a high fever in 3 weeks so I'm counting down but trying my best to lead a healthy lifestyle to try and prevent it from coming so as to falsely take it as a sign that things are gonna be allright.

Went to visit my new place with my GF today, great place, great facilities. She was decribing how she wants to do up the place, where's our dog gonna sleep , showing me her shortlisted IDs, cause it was over first place and she's really enthusiastic. My heart had the "sour" feeling. If things do go wrong, how to tell her ? How do i tell someone that I'm gonna ruin her life plans ?

Once again, im fucked. Nice.

[sammyboyfor]

Went to visit my new place with my GF today, great place, great facilities.

If it's a condo you're referring to, those wonderful "facilities" will bring you more grief than any STD ever will. You'll be burdened for the rest of your life with having to pay for stuff you'll never use.

[nicholassoong81]

Bro,

I feel for you. The same thing happened to me too. She was a KTV girl whom I got to know at Chang Ping. We got into a relationship. I was stupid enough to allow myself to fall in love with her. On one of the trips there, I did raw with her. But I ejaculated outside her. First thought is she should be quite clean as she is only 18 years old and she claimed that she seldom sleep around with customers. But after returning to Spore, I started to feel worried as there is no way I can be sure that she doesn't sleep around. The bottomline is when we come out to play, wearing the necessary protection is essential. Don't put our lives and future at risk. I hope that you will be alright. I went through the same torturing process. Waited for 3 months to confirm that I am alright.

[troubledguy]

hi bros

got also a situation when my condom broke when coming into a sex worker. those house kind.

may i know why DSC only opens from 6.30 - 8.30pm? by the way, do they require you to furnish your particulars before the check up ?

cheers!

[Eropagnis]

Ya. Go for a check up.
Dr Tan is definitely more professional in my opinion than Shim.
Actually also don't know what's the doctor's name at Shim clinic.
One has few branches located at the heart of Sg in CBD area, one under a HDB block at a ulu location.
Somemore in Shim website, states that must shave pubic hair for physical check. Not too sure if this is a common practise or a preference so see shaved
areas.


bro,

keep dwelling into what has happened won't reverse the process.
What's most impt now is to check yurself and get back into health.
Going DSC for full check up is one option, but a minor STD will means
yur identity could b exposed and who know might lead to another issue
if family members know.
Another option is to make an appt n see Dr. Tan at OUB.
Private sexual health screening.
Forget about void deck GPs.
If u have the courage to do it raw, brace yourself once more and do a thorough check with Dr Tan.
Wish you good luck!

[iSAMMYBOY]

It is therefore important to go for a detail check up to make sure everything is fine.
Anything else is secondary at this point.

[God OfSex]

Bro, quit now before you get stuck failing which it will be very very hard for you to climb out of this trap. I have been in your situation for a much longer period and regret my stupidity. Fortunately, I am cleared of illnesses and though I still miss her dearly, I have refrained from contacting her. The short-lived "special feel and enjoyment" is not worth at all and can cause you lifelong misery.

Just stop seeing her ! Hard-hearted it may seem, you should know the consequences if something goes wrong. Don't worry, I am sure that she can take it and will not take it seriously with their customers. Like my FL, she does not even call/sms to say goodbye (maybe she is angry with me?) when she left.

[freezetheDB]

dear bro
all the best and hope the result will come out negative.

[Msdy777]

Hi TS,
don't worry too much as what is done is already done..
let me console you...
1. the girl u did raw with, she must have HIV before she can pass to you.
Even she got HIV, both of you must have open wounds or small cut on the skins to pass the virus.. in any case, I think the chances are low..
But you still can get stds...

2. just go watch some hardcore porn like gangbang, creampie, orgy clips, I sure those people got a higher chance than you to get HIV.

3. lastly for those bros out there who are scared of getting stds and HIV but cannot control your desire... I suggest you guys go to legal brothel at geylang because it is the safest place u fuck at peace... without worrying so much after a session.

Hope this will help you feel better!

3.

[hcg_explorer]

Hi TS,
don't worry too much as what is done is already done..
let me console you...
1. the girl u did raw with, she must have HIV before she can pass to you.
Even she got HIV, both of you must have open wounds or small cut on the skins to pass the virus.. in any case, I think the chances are low..
But you still can get stds...

2. just go watch some hardcore porn like gangbang, creampie, orgy clips, I sure those people got a higher chance than you to get HIV.

3. lastly for those bros out there who are scared of getting stds and HIV but cannot control your desire... I suggest you guys go to legal brothel at geylang because it is the safest place u fuck at peace... without worrying so much after a session.

Hope this will help you feel better!

3.

well said bro... upz u

[sammyboyfor]

Even she got HIV, both of you must have open wounds or small cut on the skins to pass the virus..

Please quote your sources of this wisdom.

[Msdy777]

Please quote your sources of this wisdom.
no? Pls enlighten ><

[Msdy777]

Please quote your sources of this wisdom.
http://www.mnaidsproject.org/learn/transmission.htm
i might misunderstand the meaning....

[Aesthetic]

http://www.mnaidsproject.org/learn/transmission.htm
i might misunderstand the meaning....

While the power of the internet is an impetus to inform, it is at the same time a double-edged sword, which also mislead. There's really a lot of conflicting informations revolving around the transmission of HIV.

[misallocated]

Dear Bro's

once again, thanks for the kind words. But the news just keeps getting "better"....

"According to the Ministry of Health, 463 HIV cases were detected last year, involving 418 men. About 27 per cent of them, or 115 men, were married."

Nice, thats what I might end up as....a statistic...

Oh by the way, smokers have an increased risk.....guess what ...yup, smoker ...thats me.

Any bro's managed to think of any ideas as to how to get the FL massuese to test using a test kit bought online in a tactful manner ? I already made an order online and should be getting them soon.

As for the risk of passing it to my gf, she has several long haul flights this month while I might be travelling as well, hence I will be minimising physical contact with her....but pardon me for asking, wouldn't your partner get suspicious if you avoid sex with her for the next 3 months ? The standard "stress recently" and "I'm dead tired" can only work for a couple of weeks before she starts asking questions right ?

I usually only know how to ask for or initiate sex....never tried turning her down before actually....

[mortar]

TS, i fully understand what/how you are feeling now cos i have gone thru the same thing as you before. Anyway here's my thread: http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=208887

The waiting is the most cham of all, I have a gf too, and i totally understoodED the pain of discussing the future/happy times with your gf while your mind is thinking of 'shit what have i done to myself? how am i going to face my gf and family if i really got myself into deep trouble' Nevertheless, check up is a MUST for you in order to peace out your mind.

I went to DSC and the waiting time there is hell too, heart thumping experience while they show you the ch8 drama show which chen han wei got AIDS. The thoughts of regret will be revolving around your mind. Very luckily, all my tests are neg and i really left the place in a peace of mind. Now i start to appreciate life/gf/family more than ever. No more commercial bbbj for me. Get yourself check soon bro, and best of luck to you.

[thedocisin]

Any bro's managed to think of any ideas as to how to get the FL massuese to test using a test kit bought online in a tactful manner ? I already made an order online and should be getting them soon.


bro,

dun want to burst your bubble but even if she test negative for HIV she could be in the window period.
in other words she could be contagious and still test negative.
wat i'm saying is even if you test her and she is ok, you still need to get yourself tested.

all the best to you man.

[misallocated]

Dear Bros'

I need your advise please. I found a bump on my groin area. It's NOT on my penis. It's actually on the pubic area on the right beside my penis. It's slightly reddish, less than 1cm in diameter, not really painful unless you press it. Doesn't seem to have any pus yet.

I though it was a swollen lymph node but i checked the pictures online and it's not as swollen as the pics i found. It's more like a big pimple. Shit....how now man???

I asked the massuese and she told me she last did the medical check-up including HIV about 2 months back. But of course, I understand the window period theory as I am still f**king worried....can't sleep in peace...no mood at work. It's f**ked up man.

I have made an appointment at Dr Tan at OUB next week. I understand that the charges are $80 for consultation and $600 for the PCR test. But I would like to do the whole suite of tests for all possible STDs. Any bro's out there can kindly tell me how much it would cost ?

Appreciate your replies guys.

[sammyboyfor]

I need your advise please.

Should be "I need your ADVICE please.".

"Advise" is a verb.

[justlook]

Dear Bros'

I need your advise please. I found a bump on my groin area. It's NOT on my penis. It's actually on the pubic area on the right beside my penis. It's slightly reddish, less than 1cm in diameter, not really painful unless you press it. Doesn't seem to have any pus yet.

I though it was a swollen lymph node but i checked the pictures online and it's not as swollen as the pics i found. It's more like a big pimple. Shit....how now man???

I asked the massuese and she told me she last did the medical check-up including HIV about 2 months back. But of course, I understand the window period theory as I am still f**king worried....can't sleep in peace...no mood at work. It's f**ked up man.

I have made an appointment at Dr Tan at OUB next week. I understand that the charges are $80 for consultation and $600 for the PCR test. But I would like to do the whole suite of tests for all possible STDs. Any bro's out there can kindly tell me how much it would cost ?

Appreciate your replies guys.


If you think all cost for checking expensive at singapore you can go to malaysia (Johor Bahru) last time i check for HIV and STD around RM 350 +-

[thedocisin]

bro,

last time i did full suite of STD test about $400+
sounds to me your 'pimple' worst case scenario is syphilis
syphilis can cure. just need to take penicillin injection.
chill bro.
all the best to you. really really hope you will be ok.

[iSAMMYBOY]

Seeing Dr Tan will be a good choice.
Heard that they uses laser for treatment in case yours is a tiny wart.
No need to shave off pubic hair to the skin like other clinics do.
Saw from Shim Clinic website that for physical examination ONLY, already need to shave off pubic hair. Might look clean but wierd thou.
Alot of people recommend Dr Tan, maybe after yur visit you may share your experience with bros here on their professionalism and expertise level.
Good Luck!


Dear Bros'

I need your advise please. I found a bump on my groin area. It's NOT on my penis. It's actually on the pubic area on the right beside my penis. It's slightly reddish, less than 1cm in diameter, not really painful unless you press it. Doesn't seem to have any pus yet.

I though it was a swollen lymph node but i checked the pictures online and it's not as swollen as the pics i found. It's more like a big pimple. Shit....how now man???

I asked the massuese and she told me she last did the medical check-up including HIV about 2 months back. But of course, I understand the window period theory as I am still f**king worried....can't sleep in peace...no mood at work. It's f**ked up man.

I have made an appointment at Dr Tan at OUB next week. I understand that the charges are $80 for consultation and $600 for the PCR test. But I would like to do the whole suite of tests for all possible STDs. Any bro's out there can kindly tell me how much it would cost ?

Appreciate your replies guys.

[God OfSex]

If you continue to see her, be mentally prepared for the conseqences if the unpredictable happens. Please tread carefully else you may regret! It's your choice. Meanwhilst, no point worrying about this & that until you have seen a doc.

Good luck and hope you will be fine.

[nuoyah]

bro, I read your story and could not help thinking that I've been there....done that...and walked the same situation you were in. I know the anguish you feel and tension I felt when I took my first HIV test at AIDS Anonymous was not pleasant to say the least. I was partially relieved that I was not tested positive then the thought hit that I had to endure another 3 months of pure hell mental torture. That was the good news...the bad news was I contracted gonorrhea. In my case, I did not even do it raw...I think it came from a BJ. Fortunately the condition was curable and things did not get any worse than that for me.

I was finally cleared of everything after 6 months and I could not tell you how relieved I was. There and then, I made my decision....no more commercial sex for me. It's just not worth it and the girls or FLs in Geylang, street walkers, etc.....it's just not safe. I know all that talk about them going for test, clean,blah blah...but seriously if a hooker is infected, most of them will not refrain from working to make money. Besides it takes time before the any virus is detected...it's this time that's most dangerous. IMHO I think they want to enact a little revenge on the next lusty sucker and spread the feeling around. I went to the doctor for a medical recently and I took my HIV test with confidence and no fear. I wish you well and if you are cleared, take courage from my story and abstain in future. Do not live in fear ever again.

[nicholassoong81]

Bro, your story is pretty scary. Did you have BBBJ or BJ? Really puzzled at how you got gonnorhea

[peanut123]

Dude, I don't know where you got your info from, but you are wrong on all counts.

1. You don't need to have cuts or open wounds to get HIV from an infected person. Cuts and open wounds increases your chances of getting HIV, but you can get infected even if you don't have any cuts or open wounds.

2. How does knowing that people in porn movies are more likely to get HIV help TS in any way ? That's like saying people jumping off 40 storey buildings are likely to get killed means its safe for me to jump off 20 stories. It makes no sense.

3. There's no such thing as safe or safest place to fuck for commercial sex. Commercial sex by its very nature is dangerous. Wanna be safe ? Stay home and PCC, or fuck a faithful partner.


Hi TS,
don't worry too much as what is done is already done..
let me console you...
1. the girl u did raw with, she must have HIV before she can pass to you.
Even she got HIV, both of you must have open wounds or small cut on the skins to pass the virus.. in any case, I think the chances are low..
But you still can get stds...

2. just go watch some hardcore porn like gangbang, creampie, orgy clips, I sure those people got a higher chance than you to get HIV.

3. lastly for those bros out there who are scared of getting stds and HIV but cannot control your desire... I suggest you guys go to legal brothel at geylang because it is the safest place u fuck at peace... without worrying so much after a session.

Hope this will help you feel better!

3.

[frivolous_ami]

I was in the same shoes. Bottomline is be responsible. Bang hard, but also must have condom. You never know what kind of crap the other fellow is carrying. Sometimes, whether fl or not, sg morals are collapsing as another bro was saying.

Carrying something and not knowing what it is.... is a horrible feeling. Do the right thing, do with condom or don't do at all.

[frivolous_ami]

3. There's no such thing as safe or safest place to fuck for commercial sex. Commercial sex by its very nature is dangerous. Wanna be safe ? Stay home and PCC, or fuck a faithful partner.

Faithful partner is a hard find. Even a so called faithful one can be playing around. Seen too many so called faithful ones banging around. So, still have to be very safe. Dun say those viet wife. Those still can say quite safe.

[ilovesingapore]

Dear Bro's

thanks for the kind words and advice (yes boss sammyboy, I noticed that you place particular emphasis on this word, hence the need to underline :)

In fact, one bro gave a brillant, out-of-my-box idea about buying the test kit and getting the FL massuse to test for HIV. I really think thats a great idea, I would love to proceed with it but the thing is, how do I put it across to her ?

I like to think that I have high EQ and it seems to me that if I ask her to test, it would seem that I don't trust her and she might even deem it insulting since she has reiterated to her customers and on the forums that she DOES NOT do FJs.

Its not like there's any emtional entanglement involved, but I wouldn't want to piss her off and end up having to wait for another nail-biting 3 weeks.

So i'm sure that there has to be a nice and tacit way to put my message across without pissing her off since technically, she can help alleviate some of my worries for awhile but I need some creative ways to ask her.

Help needed here brothers.

An update on my emotional and physical well-being. Emotions wise, my nerves are a wreck. I have to continue being my normal gregarious self with my parents, gfs, colleauges , friends and customers and it is draining me. Try faking a smile and cracking jokes when your mind is constantly going," what the f**k have I done to myself ??!!!"

Part of my job involves entertaining my clients, bring them out for drinks at KTVs etc and the girls there do not interest me one bit at all....I would rather stay home and mope about what i stupidly did and how is it gonna affect my loved ones ? I mean, what the hell are they gonna say about me at the fucking funeral ???

Physical-wise, yes I know that symptoms do not kick in early, but still , the headaches have progressed to fevers and a flu , could be due to the weather, but , is it too much of a concidence ? I read that there's a possibility of a high fever in 3 weeks so I'm counting down but trying my best to lead a healthy lifestyle to try and prevent it from coming so as to falsely take it as a sign that things are gonna be allright.

Went to visit my new place with my GF today, great place, great facilities. She was decribing how she wants to do up the place, where's our dog gonna sleep , showing me her shortlisted IDs, cause it was over first place and she's really enthusiastic. My heart had the "sour" feeling. If things do go wrong, how to tell her ? How do i tell someone that I'm gonna ruin her life plans ?

Once again, im fucked. Nice.

if u hv HIV, u can be the ambassador for Action for AIDS. Ur emotions are really high.

[nokia88]

If u gonna marry the girl at least tell her the truth and go through the test of faith together .

IIRC the rapid test kit is done using samples with a plastic swibe from different parts of the gum . And results shown after 30mins .

[misallocated]

Hi Bro's,

Just some updates. Well, might have seem pretty emotional to some bro's out there but well, I admit it's true. It is definitely an emotional roller coaster that you do NOT wanna be on boys.

So, went for the test at Dr Tan at OUB. He said it was pretty early so most tests cannot be done but I still went for a PCR swab anyway. Yes, bro's were right when they said it was a professional place. Laid out the options and planned the next course of action. The bump on my groin area was deemed to be a cyst or ingrown hair follicle of some sort since it was IN the skin rather than ON the skin. Don't ask me how to tell, it looks IN and ON at the same time. Was told to come back a couple of weeks later for results and further testing.

BUt things have progressed downwards since then. The very next day after the visit to Dr Tan, I discovered a ulcer/blister/bump on my lip. Inner lip to be exact. Was freaking out already but trying my best to keep calm and brush negative thoughts out of my head. The thing is I don't usually get ulcers, really really rarely and this time it happened so close after the fucked up event. I highly doubt it's a concidence. The next best part, a day later, my penis started itching. Yes, that has rarely happened and when it did , it usually goes away the next day after I give my penis a thorough wash.

This time however, the itch has persisted. It's actually itching under my foreskin and it got pretty bad til it woke me up in the middle of the nite. It has been happening for about 4 - 5 days now. I don't see any particular bumps or anything but it's too early too tell. Only way to ease the itch so far is by turning the showehead at full blast and washing it. But it still comes back after a period of time.

Concidence again ? Highly unlikely in my clouded opinion.

Most of the tests can only be done after 2 months, I have gone through only 2 weeks and I have to wait for another 1.5 weeks to undergo the full PCR and blood and HIV test. On the gf side, I have managed to avoid any sexual contact with her due to work schedule clashes as well as overseas client visits.

Some bro out there said I should let her know and be fair to her. Well bro, I would love to do just that but then again, easier said than done yes ? Any if not all men in my situation can do nothing but wait and pray for the fucking best.

Wish me luck guys. I need fuckloads of it.

[nokia88]

This time however, the itch has persisted. It's actually itching under my foreskin and it got pretty bad til it woke me up in the middle of the nite. It has been happening for about 4 - 5 days now.
Wish me luck guys. I need fuckloads of it.

Could be uti or yeast infection . Juz inform Dr tan and he will diagnose it .

[thedocisin]

good luck bro.
after you are all clear you need to throw one f'ing big party.
eat big fish big meat.

[Eropagnis]

Get it treated by Dr Tan before it becomes
http://cocksrly.com/images/genital_warts_01.jpg



good luck bro.
after you are all clear you need to throw one f'ing big party.
eat big fish big meat.

[intensity]

Good luck to you...at least you are responsible enough to avoid any sexual contact with your GF...

[mrgorden]

Good luck man.. and smart move avoid contact with your GF. I feel that you should not tell her yet.. no pt alarming her should it be negative.

In fact, even if suay suay tio, you should break it other ways, i feel.. maybe the hurt is lesser.

[Eropagnis]

How's your result bro?
Everything ok according to Dr. Tan that you seen.

Hi dear bro's out there,

the following experience of mine serves neither as a warning or as a precautionary tale. I'm writing this so as to better sort out my inner feelings and emotions.

In retrospect, I do not think that I am a person filled with lust and horniness. I have a steady girlfriend whom I intend to marry soon. But, just like any man out there, I do have the ocassional wants and needs to try something/someone else.

Till date, my forays into the commercial scene have been limited to KTV outings, massages with happy endings and some Freelancers. All in, I estimate that I would have had commercial sex with 10 to maybe 15 different sex workers over the last 3 years.

One common occurence amongst all of them is that I always use protection. Even for a blowjob, nothing goes barebacked. I guess that the sex education in our school system has played its part and I am a firm believer in safe sex, regardless paid or not, young or old. Till now....

I hooked up recently with a certain Freelance massuse whom I shall not reveal her name or details,to protect her's and my privacy. She's famous for giving top notch massages and ends it off with a decent handjob along with some roaming, top only. Also, she's known for NOT providing any blowjobs or sex to new or regular customers though my understanding is that some bros out that have tried.

Sometime this week, I arranged for a session with her. I am a pretty chatty guy being in the sales industry and after a number of sessions, we had become pretty accustomed and friendly so it was easy talking to her.After the massage, she continued with her handjob but somehow, this time, things were different.

Emotions ran high, I wasn't thinking straight , neither was she I think, one thing led to another she said it would be nice to have sex after such a long time. Thing was, there wasn't a condom around. Not being able to think straight, I just did it raw. Yeap, raw. Dumb as hell, you practise 3 years worth of safe sex and throw it out of the window in one session.

She allowed me to come inside, saying her period had just ended and it should be safe. Guess what ? yeap, came in her. Another dumb move. So thats 2 dumb moves in a row.

Why am I worried ? On the drive back, I was thinking...f**k..she says she doesn't do it with anyone. How the hell would I know if she did ? Even if not with her customers, what about her husband back in her hometown? He might not have been keeping it in his pants while she's away right?

She allowed me to do it raw and come inside probably says the either of 2 things. She's either very confident that Im safe and clean or she has really bad sex education knowledge. Either ways, it does nothing for me.

RIght now, I've got a headache, abit of sore throat, which I don't know whether to attribute to the f**king haze or have I really got it ? The dread A word....


I've been reading up, the risk of HIV increases during menstruation, and I definitely saw some blood stains on the towel after the dumb act. I was in her for less than 2 mins max , cause the handjob prior had gotten me seriously aroused and pumped up. Still is that even a consolation or redeeming factor ?

Yeap, I know, get tested. After so much reading , I know exactly where, how, the procedures to get tested. I will go get tested. But I can only do it in a one month time and further confirm the results in 3 months. How the fuck is time going to pass with all the pessimistic thoughts running through my head ?

I'm fucked....

Stupidity comes with a fucking price....deal with it.

Will be updating my post detailing my thoughts and feelings as the day goes by....just to string them into words I guess....

Take care guys.

[Rainbowfish]

Any update from the TS? Is everything ok?

[Fatboy39]

Hey bro,

There some test you van perform earlier than the elisa test which is performed 3 months post exposure. Look in Wikipedia.org under HIV testing. I have mentioned this in alot of posts similar to yours.

Just to calm you down, firstly, your sickness earlier is due to the fact that you were suffering from psychosomatic symptoms. Meaning to say, you were stressed out due to thinking too much and it made you sick because when you stress or have sleepless nights your body weakens and is easily attacked by viruses (not HIV) or bacteria. So chill bro.

She is just as affraid of getting HIV as much as you do so she is most probably safe too. But don't ever do it again. Also, a guy is less likely to be infected compared to a girl. A girl's bodily fluid will have to enter your shaft and into you balls or inside somewhere in order to get you infected. Ulcers and cuts also plays a role. But not 100% of the time if a person does it raw then you must get infected. Not that I encourage raw. The itching on the foreskin maybe caused by smagma which is accumilation of crap inside your cock. Your chemistry changes when you are stressed where your kidneys may have discharged crystals may also be the cause. The crystals can cut your skin on the penis where the cut is so small that you feel an irritation (itch) rather than pain. As for the lump,rash or something, maybe caused by too much sweat due to you are stressed.

Stop killing yourself or you will more likely die of stress rather than HIV which you don't have. Chill bro. I know how you feel. I had similar experience back in 2007 when I discovered a cut on my gums after painting an FL. The enxiety was a killer. What I did was concentrate on something else which is fun to you. I'm sure you are alright. Please let us know the outcome.

Good Luck Bro!!!

[iceblender]

Bro,
I agree with Fatboy39. I tend to have this kind of emotional war too, it is very taxing and really make someone lose all interests in life, for the period.
Try divering your attention to.., eg. forcusing into works, this keep your mind from going wild. And before you knew it, everythings will turn out well on a good fine day!
Keep your loved ones safe, and i believe what you need most now, isnt your confession. But rather, your emotional support from everyone.
You have the concerns from all bro all here!

Be blessed!

[zxcas123]

Good Lcuk, bro. God Bless:):)

[Crazyforsex]

I hope the test results go well bro...

Good luck.

[peanut123]

This response is a bit late, but better late than never.

A little bump on your groin that is sensitive to touch is NOT an STD. It is a bacterial infection caused by poor hygiene or ingrown hair follicle. You are more vulnerable if you scratch your groin or if you shave your public area (which makes ingrown hair more likely).

What happens is that a hair follicle gets infected with bacteria and it becomes a lump, like a big mosquito bite. It turns brownish, and make even leak pus and blood. It is generally not painful unless you press on it.

Go see a doctor ( DSC clinic or GP also can ), and they'll give you some antibiotics. I got this before. Each time the doc gave me some antibiotics, and the problem goes away.



Dear Bros'

I need your advise please. I found a bump on my groin area. It's NOT on my penis. It's actually on the pubic area on the right beside my penis. It's slightly reddish, less than 1cm in diameter, not really painful unless you press it. Doesn't seem to have any pus yet.

I though it was a swollen lymph node but i checked the pictures online and it's not as swollen as the pics i found. It's more like a big pimple. Shit....how now man???

I asked the massuese and she told me she last did the medical check-up including HIV about 2 months back. But of course, I understand the window period theory as I am still f**king worried....can't sleep in peace...no mood at work. It's f**ked up man.

I have made an appointment at Dr Tan at OUB next week. I understand that the charges are $80 for consultation and $600 for the PCR test. But I would like to do the whole suite of tests for all possible STDs. Any bro's out there can kindly tell me how much it would cost ?

Appreciate your replies guys.

[insiderivan]

Good luck to you.

[samyboys]

Bro, dont worry about it, illness can be cured with medication and aids is very unlikely unless you are so suay!

What is more scary is that she tell you that she is pregnant with your child a month later. Then HOW! This will turn you up side down man!

i agree with this.

[samyboys]

good luck to TS, be brave and responsible to face it.

sometimes in a heat of passion, we cannot think properly, we just want to carry on

[starystarynite]

i don't understand the motivation whythe FL wants to do it with you raw??

nothing gain for her and i am sure they have super good self control power..most hotel have condom too especially the transit type...just go down and ask from counter...easy...i tried twice...no problem..better then you worrying now..

but what is done is done...just don;t do it with your wife tobe and get her into trouble...for you, let's pray...nothing else can be done until you can check and ensure you didn;t kena anything...and hopefully the FL doesn't come back with a baby of yours...

BTW, you can get the HIV test kit and do it with the FL....at least give you some indication.


Hi dear bro's out there,



the following experience of mine serves neither as a warning or as a precautionary tale. I'm writing this so as to better sort out my inner feelings and emotions.

In retrospect, I do not think that I am a person filled with lust and horniness. I have a steady girlfriend whom I intend to marry soon. But, just like any man out there, I do have the ocassional wants and needs to try something/someone else.

Till date, my forays into the commercial scene have been limited to KTV outings, massages with happy endings and some Freelancers. All in, I estimate that I would have had commercial sex with 10 to maybe 15 different sex workers over the last 3 years.

One common occurence amongst all of them is that I always use protection. Even for a blowjob, nothing goes barebacked. I guess that the sex education in our school system has played its part and I am a firm believer in safe sex, regardless paid or not, young or old. Till now....

I hooked up recently with a certain Freelance massuse whom I shall not reveal her name or details,to protect her's and my privacy. She's famous for giving top notch massages and ends it off with a decent handjob along with some roaming, top only. Also, she's known for NOT providing any blowjobs or sex to new or regular customers though my understanding is that some bros out that have tried.

Sometime this week, I arranged for a session with her. I am a pretty chatty guy being in the sales industry and after a number of sessions, we had become pretty accustomed and friendly so it was easy talking to her.After the massage, she continued with her handjob but somehow, this time, things were different.

Emotions ran high, I wasn't thinking straight , neither was she I think, one thing led to another she said it would be nice to have sex after such a long time. Thing was, there wasn't a condom around. Not being able to think straight, I just did it raw. Yeap, raw. Dumb as hell, you practise 3 years worth of safe sex and throw it out of the window in one session.

She allowed me to come inside, saying her period had just ended and it should be safe. Guess what ? yeap, came in her. Another dumb move. So thats 2 dumb moves in a row.

Why am I worried ? On the drive back, I was thinking...f**k..she says she doesn't do it with anyone. How the hell would I know if she did ? Even if not with her customers, what about her husband back in her hometown? He might not have been keeping it in his pants while she's away right?

She allowed me to do it raw and come inside probably says the either of 2 things. She's either very confident that Im safe and clean or she has really bad sex education knowledge. Either ways, it does nothing for me.

RIght now, I've got a headache, abit of sore throat, which I don't know whether to attribute to the f**king haze or have I really got it ? The dread A word....


I've been reading up, the risk of HIV increases during menstruation, and I definitely saw some blood stains on the towel after the dumb act. I was in her for less than 2 mins max , cause the handjob prior had gotten me seriously aroused and pumped up. Still is that even a consolation or redeeming factor ?

Yeap, I know, get tested. After so much reading , I know exactly where, how, the procedures to get tested. I will go get tested. But I can only do it in a one month time and further confirm the results in 3 months. How the fuck is time going to pass with all the pessimistic thoughts running through my head ?

I'm fucked....

Stupidity comes with a fucking price....deal with it.

Will be updating my post detailing my thoughts and feelings as the day goes by....just to string them into words I guess....

Take care guys.

[seawave]

Good luck to u bro. Sometimes cant control.