I cannot CUM

[Izumi]

Hi Bros, I got a problem that I need to seek advice from bros.

I a 24 years old local chinese and I have no sex experience until recently with my GF. we had a good time having hot sweet love, she came but I connot cum:(

we did it a few more times for the past few weeks the same situation happened:(

I had no problem cumming when masturbating while watching porn.

some frends told me I'm not used to wearing condom but I don't want to have unprotected sex for selfish reasons.

I had a feeling that this is starting to affect our relationship and my confident.:(

Plese advise me on this problem. Thank you.

[joeylow78]

you should wear a condom and PCC. Practice makes perfect. Sometimes it's the brand of the condom. Try switching to another brand.

[Lionrod32]

Bro, it might be the stress of trying to performing in bed ... Try to relax and dun put so much pressure on yourself ... Think of think abt how wonderful your gf is and how you want to cum in her (cap on of course) ... Naturally you will overcome your problem ... Cheers

[Faidenk]

TS,
There are several threads on this topic in the Sexual Health forum. I suggest you go there instead. Good day.

[Izumi]

Thanks for giving advice bros.
I'm just confused. some times we do it for almost 2 hours until we both tired already but still no cum. I don't feel much when inside her, can feel tight but can't fell sexual pleasure.:(
I usually cum around 5-10 mins when pcc.
what brand of condom is good ? I using durex fetherlite.
should i seek help from doctors or take any pills?:confused:

Thank you.

[naturegreen]

what brand of condom is good ? I using durex fetherlite.

You may want to try Okamoto Platinum 0.03. (http://www.shopintimates.com/images/big/okamoto-plat.jpg) It's thinner.

[BernardFrosty]

Maybe ur foreskin is too long and too thick. Genitals not exposed enuf during sex to get sufficient stimulation.

If circumcision is not an option, try pulling ur fore skin further back before putting on the condom.

[chinchiahoe]

Bro, your situation is rather uncommon, at least to me. I've another suggestion but not sure if you are receptive to it. U can actually try having sex or making love with another gal & u see if the result is the same(but try not to get addicted & hooked). The problem currently may not necessary lies with u. It may be your gf is not able provide u with the necessary pleasure(individual preferences) thus causing u not able to cum.

[VanGogh]

Bro, I was in this situation when I was younger in my early 20s, I sometimes can't even get an erection when my then GF is giving me BJ....

To me, deep down inside, I knew I had a psychological barrier, my psychological barrier was that I am not good in sex and my didi is small.... well, that's a psychological barrier i build in myself since teenage time as my best friend got a real big didi n mine was considered small when compared to his.... so it build up from there... ... (until when I go NS and realised my didi was not actually small but just not as big as that friend)

what I can suggest is to refrain from PCC for a few days before meeting her and make yourself real horny, once you get to cum over a couple of occassion, it'll be ok.

That's what I've been thru, hope it is of help to u :)

[tigerprawn]

TS, let me share my personal experience and hopes this helps. If you can cum during pcc, then there is nothing biologically wrong with you. The issue is probably incorrect wearing of condom which hinders orgasm or psychological.

I agree with one of the bros who posted earlier, if you are uncircumcised and new to sex, try pulling and retracting your foreskin back all the way first and make sure your cock is 100% hard and erect before putting on the condom. The condom should fit snugly like a second skin and not loose.

If it is a psychological barrier, then while I applaud your insistence on using a condom, I would suggest you try fucking your gf without condom first. Either your gf go on the pill (just for a month) or you practise the withdrawal method (which is more risky of course). After you "train" your cock to cum when fucking and not just during pcc, then you start to use condom for future sex.

Good luck bro! :)

[chinchiahoe]

I just like to add on abit of what Bro Tigerprawn had mentioned. Besides the contraceptive pill & withdrawal methods, there's also 2 more options I know of. Which is the rythematic method(quite troublesome) & taking the after-morning pill method(simplier but not recommended on a very frequent basis). Hope all our info are able to help u in a way or another. Happy trying.

[Director]

One advise TS, stop PCC. It is written in some sexual articles that too much PCC can and will affect sexual performance. Please note I mention too much PCC is bad. PCC is still a healthy outlet but not too much. It will affect real sex.

[carol888]

really envy you..i cum less than a minutes even now...my ex-pinay gf was complaining...

[{SPUD}]

If TS does not mind, I can share my thoughts here.

I had this problem previously and not even an ejeculation after 18rounds of session within 5 days. Without or without condom, it doesn't help. I guess such thing happen to many other people as well or may never happen before.

Rest assure that it is not really a problem. It could be some factors mentioned here, for I don't know if it is the same factor as mine. It could be the factors of what some brothers said here but nothing to be alarm. I guess you will know it when you are more clear in your mind and not to see it as really a problem since you can ejeculate when you masturbate.

[Izumi]

Hi Bro carol888, the grass is always greener on the other side.I envy you too.:)

I'm a average looking guy , I don't think it's easy for me to find a ONS. I'm afraind to go find prostitutes because of the risk of STD and HIV.

I'm not concerned about my size as I've seen others in the gym.

We insisted on using condom becaue I don't want to affect her career.I enjoy kissing and touching her body. But I just don't feel much when I'm inside of her.

Maybe I'm not horny enough around her cause I've watched too many porn. Maybe I'm subconsciously comparing her body with those ang mo porn stars.

I have stoped masturbating for 2 weeks before we tried again and I did not cum. I woke up the next day and found that I had a wet dream, which mean I can cum without physical contact.
I didn't tell her cause not sure how she will react to it.:(

Thank you for all the suggestions. I will definately try another brand of condom.

[unfit]

Hi Bros, I got a problem that I need to seek advice from bros.

I a 24 years old local chinese and I have no sex experience until recently with my GF. we had a good time having hot sweet love, she came but I connot cum:(

we did it a few more times for the past few weeks the same situation happened:(

I had no problem cumming when masturbating while watching porn.

some frends told me I'm not used to wearing condom but I don't want to have unprotected sex for selfish reasons.

I had a feeling that this is starting to affect our relationship and my confident.:(

Plese advise me on this problem. Thank you.
Bro dun stress yourself up...just relax and focus on yr pretty GF then job done liao...

This is all in your mind and mind over your DIDI...

Happy Bonking...cheers...unfit

[Izumi]

Hi Bro {SPUD}, so the problem will just go away?:confused:

[Izumi]

Bro dun stress yourself up...just relax and focus on yr pretty GF then job done liao...

This is all in your mind and mind over your DIDI...

Happy Bonking...cheers...unfit

Me and my gf are just average looking person.But she I beautiful in my eyes.
Fantasy and reality is realy different. I'm quite horny when watching porn but not realy that horny when I'm actually doing it. I just can't get the same amount of sensation.:(
We are not skillful in bed also.

[Crazy_horse 02]

Hi TS, this may not just be ur problem. U should talk to ur gf about it and seek help from doctor. I'm sure she will understand.
good luck.

[Absynthe]

You may want to try Okamoto Platinum 0.03. (http://www.shopintimates.com/images/big/okamoto-plat.jpg) It's thinner.

The okamoto 003 break easily one u know. be careful if u use it bro.

[Glock]

I a 24 years old local chinese and I have no sex experience until recently with my GF. we had a good time having hot sweet love, she came but I connot cum:(

if she can come when you fuck her (you sure she is not faking?) then your problem is actually less

this sound like you PCC too much before so your body use to it

fuck her more times , try different position , try different rythm , you will eventually get it

at first , after she come , get her to pull off your condom and PCC you or suck you until you come , this will help get you used to it with condom but still can come , later you will not need this

[Izumi]

Ya I'm certain she came. Got the smell, then taste bit salty when I lick her.

[Absynthe]

ya bro, how do u know she come?
maybe she pee.

u should try different position c if u can feel better.

[hehfun]

Try not to PCC too often.
B'cos you are used to your hands gripping tightness.

usually during sex women 's p***y is wet allowing smooth thrusting.
Unless she has a tight p***y or is able to use her P muscule to 'clamp'
the p*nis then you would feel the tightness.

Reducing PCC will let your p*nis be more sensitive to cum.
eg. If a man did not PCC for a week, month... he would cum more easily.
IF she can make teasing,dirty talk to you even better.

all the best to you ,

[WhyWhy00]

see a doctor.

[Chery QQ]

I had the same problem more then 2 decades ago, my first 2 time was with different gals but I did not managed to complete the process, ie. Cannot cum!

After my 2nd tried, the day after, I consulted a specialist in Geylang paying $80 and after that I cumed like no tomorrow till now. Reason : no experience

* BTW, my specialist is not a doctor but far better as she made me cumed the first time thru sex. You know what I mean, right?

[alvin36]

Hi Bros, I got a problem that I need to seek advice from bros.

I a 24 years old local chinese and I have no sex experience until recently with my GF. we had a good time having hot sweet love, she came but I connot cum:(

we did it a few more times for the past few weeks the same situation happened:(

I had no problem cumming when masturbating while watching porn.

some frends told me I'm not used to wearing condom but I don't want to have unprotected sex for selfish reasons.

I had a feeling that this is starting to affect our relationship and my confident.:(

Plese advise me on this problem. Thank you.

hello TS,

you cannot shoot after long time of penetration ?
the next critical question is - did you dick get soft ? or still remain hard but just cannot shoot ?

I encounter this before too, bonk for 30min, still hard but cannot shoot, then rest and bonk again.... but still no sperm come out. Very tired already, and also dont feel the shiokness of fucking anymore. I think was mainly due to mental stress (for my work). My OC understand it, asked me go shower, then rest. After that, she BJ+HJ me until I shoot :D You need to relax your mind in order to enjoy sex.

If your dick get soft during penetration before you cum, I think it is a bigger problem here, better consult a doctor. You still so young, should not have this kind of problem.

[{SPUD}]

Hi Bro {SPUD}, so the problem will just go away?:confused:

yes... if you ejeculate thru masturbation, you are fine. What happened to me is, few months down the down (cause was overseas), I had sex with my then (same) girlfriend again and could ejeculate.

Well, unless you want to try with other girls but I doubt you will want that.

[YJ17]

Bro i was facing similiar issue as u when i was abt 20+.

For me, the main issue lies with the fact that my gf could not get me aroused. No cathbath coupled with poor bbbj etc. And try not to change alot of position when doing with your gf. I recommend you to get into missionary first and do it slowly and get your "feel" right first. If you enter and start wacking too vigriously, it numbs ur cock and you wont cum even if you take out and wack urself.

Just like girls need foreplay to warm up, so do guys...

[NSPM]

Hi Izumi
As long as you able to cum by other means need not worry to cum during intercourse, you are normal. It only matters your girlfriend are happy with your performance that make her cum once or many times since you can ‘ tahan’ so long. A lot of guys may envy you able to hold so long and satisfy your sex partner make her cum. Some of them may not able to do it at normal intercourse instead with help of other means to keep the partner ‘sextisfy ‘. Your girlfriend will love you forever. It is not necessary to cum and sextify yourself first as priority, it only matters how your girlfriend feel how much you love her….

[sibaysong4u]

I wish I were you.

[mochaman]

Bro eat a lot of water chestnuts and durian this is suppose to release the water retention in your body through your pee pee in one shot..if even that dont work then you can jerk off till it pains a lot ..pop in a panadol or two and continue jerk off till you lose your hardon then slowly wank your cock to raise and piss out the CUM. Try this for a week then you should be OK.

[freezetheDB]

basically i see it as a stress issue.

learn to relax, give the girl some time to learn how to work your dick. If she is willing to please, your problem will sooner be gone

[EyeLevel]

Haven't seen anyone mentioned it, but TS might just be right about himself having the wrong "impression" & expectation towards making out.

If you are fixated by all the hardcore moaning n screaming from porn videos, & ur gf's very reserved in the audio n visual during sex, then that might just be the mental barrier you have.

If you n ur gf are open n adventurous enough, u can suggest to her to watch the porn videos together n proceed into action while watching... If you can cum, then you know where ur problem is....

But be warn, that might just make ur gf feel inadequate and resentful towards you n your porn "addiction".

My 2cts

[hiaokong]

Bro, maybe deep inside you, you only wanted to please your gf, that's why no matter how hard you try, you couldnt cum. As what i can see, when u pcc, u are alone, u have your personal space, u can concentrate on yourself, u can feel the shiok-ness in pcc n cum.

Maybe, try doing it raw FOR A COUPLE OF THRUSTS (and make sure your didi is clean; no pre-cum, no pcc b4 sex) (eh,and dont be pathetic and count your thrust! lol. just do it, feel it, SET A LIMIT OF SATISFACTION, and when your satisfied, pull out) after that only u put on cd and continue.

Sometimes when we're all too focused on something else during sex, we end up not really having sex. Last time, my didi went soft when i was too focused on the pleasure my gf is having during sex, the duration of our sex, her moanings (as in people might heard them), in hotel i was worried there's hidden camera during our sex (haha idiot). These are examples and experiences from my part.

One last thing is that maybe u're too hooked on porn. Maybe u can try watching porn while having sex. She may find it weird, convince her! "read in some forum that watching porn while having sex may improve sexual pleasure for both sex, i wana try, please? hehe" make something like that up. Initially, u'll probably fantasize that u're having sex with the woman in the porn video (since this assumption is based on u being too hooked up on porn+pcc), but its ok, FEEL THE PLEASURE. Just dont let her know that u're fantasizing about other woman while having sex with her. NEVER. Future encounters when u're feeling more of the pleasure as u progress, u can ditch the porn video during sex. That time i bet u'll be enjoying the pleasure itself with her. =)

Hope this helps in a way or two. Sorry to be sooooooooooooo long winded. I like details. And I like to make things clear. Cheers!

[Izumi]

Yes, I have to admit that I'm hooked by hardcore porn. all the action and screaming. Now I know why they are called pro...
she moarn very soft and she too shy to do dirty talk.

During penetration I feel like I'm rubbing my penis inside a rubber tube and I start to lose interest after a few minutes. I keep pumping until she come and I only pull out when I totally lost the urge and get soft. We need to do another round of forplay before I get hard again and start 2nd round.

[Izumi]

Hi Izumi
As long as you able to cum by other means need not worry to cum during intercourse, you are normal. It only matters your girlfriend are happy with your performance that make her cum once or many times since you can ‘ tahan’ so long. A lot of guys may envy you able to hold so long and satisfy your sex partner make her cum. Some of them may not able to do it at normal intercourse instead with help of other means to keep the partner ‘sextisfy ‘. Your girlfriend will love you forever. It is not necessary to cum and sextify yourself first as priority, it only matters how your girlfriend feel how much you love her….

Hi Bro NSPM. I'm actually trying hard to unload instead of holding back.
I try my best to fulfill her needs as I realy love her. While she may be satisfied, I feel "empty" in some way.:(

I just don't understand why pcc feels so much better than the real thing...

[ikapopo]

what a pity :(, man can't cum, try suck your cock with Linda Chung...I hope you will cum ;)

[HumjiFtw]

Hi Bro, after reading your condition i would say that you might be a victim of this condition : http://www.healthystrokes.com/

[Izumi]

what a pity :(, man can't cum, try suck your cock with Linda Chung...I hope you will cum ;)

Hi Bro. I just want to have a healthy relationship with my girl. I don't know who this Linda Chung is...:(

[hiaokong]

Yes, I have to admit that I'm hooked by hardcore porn. all the action and screaming. Now I know why they are called pro...
she moarn very soft and she too shy to do dirty talk.

During penetration I feel like I'm rubbing my penis inside a rubber tube and I start to lose interest after a few minutes. I keep pumping until she come and I only pull out when I totally lost the urge and get soft. We need to do another round of forplay before I get hard again and start 2nd round.

dont compare! and fyi, 99% of porn moans are made up. maybe u should switch from hardcode porn to homemade porn. i like homemade porn best! all natural.

this senseless pumping makes u no different from a dog (i apologise for such harsh words). i guess it all depends on what u are thinking; u're already thinking that u're rubbing ur penis inside a rubber tube. next time go raw for a few moment, then put a condom on. when u're doing it, close your eyes, and feel the sensation around your penis; during raw and cd. u can still feel the sensation with a cd. i felt it.


Hi Bro NSPM. I'm actually trying hard to unload instead of holding back.
I try my best to fulfill her needs as I realy love her. While she may be satisfied, I feel "empty" in some way.:(

I just don't understand why pcc feels so much better than the real thing...

really, i think u're trying too hard. dont focus on unloading. u may focus 75% on fulfilling her needs. u need to feel the sensation around your dick inside her pussy!

[Tomb]

Hi TS,

i had this problem b4 with my first ex..
We had sex for alot of times and i didn cum too.

Probably like what some bros here mentioned, inexperienced and anxiety.

Try spicing up your sex live, like having sex in public, or some deserted park..
See if it will heighten ur arousal and hers.

Once u cum the first time, it will be alot easier the next time. :)

[Durable]

I hve a feeling tat u r not wearing the condom proPerly

[owl888]

TS, make love with your gf first. After she cums, pull out remove cd. Then pcc in front of her, look at your gf, fantasize she's your dream porn star........

[Crazy_horse 02]

Hi Bro NSPM. I'm actually trying hard to unload instead of holding back.
I try my best to fulfill her needs as I realy love her. While she may be satisfied, I feel "empty" in some way.:(

I just don't understand why pcc feels so much better than the real thing...

Hi Bro, its not all about attending to her needs. u need to satisfy urself also.
sex is a two way thing, just like love.

make sure she do her part also. if not u are no different from a sex toy bro.

just my 2 cent.

[insiderivan]

Hi bro, U can also try to watch porn and have sex at the same time.

[Crazy_horse 02]

Bro, your situation is rather uncommon, at least to me. I've another suggestion but not sure if you are receptive to it. U can actually try having sex or making love with another gal & u see if the result is the same(but try not to get addicted & hooked). The problem currently may not necessary lies with u. It may be your gf is not able provide u with the necessary pleasure(individual preferences) thus causing u not able to cum.

I think bro chinchiahoe maybe right. U should consider doing with other girls.

[lee2001sg]

I am also someone who don't cum easily. Another problem is my OC gets very wet during sex. My solution is to clean her cum at intervals so that I can feel the friction. It works for me. Hope this will help you too. For your info, I am the father of 3 kids.;)

[Absynthe]

I am also someone who don't cum easily. Another problem is my OC gets very wet during sex. My solution is to clean her cum at intervals so that I can feel the friction. It works for me. Hope this will help you too. For your info, I am the father of 3 kids.;)

Brovo bro, u power 3 kids. ur OC loves u .garment loves u also.:D

[WhyWhy00]

Does it help on CIM when watching porn?:o

[Izumi]

Does it help on CIM when watching porn?:o

My gf won't do BJ with out condom. so CIM out of the question.:(

[EyeLevel]

TS,
think you mentioned that your gf is quite traditional and "uptight" ?
If you dun mind me asking, how well do you both communicate?..

You mentioned that she doesn't talk dirty... but is she ok with you talking dirty, well not vulgarities kind of dirty... but sexy talk to her.. and does she respond (gets wet or wetter) ?..

just to share a tip how I got 1 of my super prudish ex to open up...
have all totally stripped... and sitting in front of you, back facing you.
you should only have your shirt off... you will be hugging her from behind.
think more comfortable if you both are sitting on the bed.

If you can move a mirror, infront of you... that will be great... but if not its ok. start with just touching her with your hands.. and kissing her ears and nape.. and slowly and softly tell her where you will next be touching her or kissing her... tell her what you would like to do to her.. ..
all this time ... the touch should be very very light only. if she respond and moan a little mew.. from there ask her if she liked what /where you are touching... now you can apply a little more pressure ... and see if she gives more response.... use this method to train her to respond the way you like..
also to break down her inhibition... from time to time ask her to look at the mirror ( if you have it) and tell her how sexy she looks to you... that way she moan or that expression turns you on so much...

well.. its hard work.. .. so hopefully after a few times of this, she will learn to know what kind of moan or reaction she gives turns you on.

And this is a very healthy and sensual way to improve your relationship. Nothing dirty or lewd. and its proven to work.. kekeke .. by me.

My 2cts
Cheeers!

[ilpan77]

That's exactly what wife does too. Cleaning her juices and continue fucking again. Sometimes being too wet also has it's disadvantages.

[Izumi]

Hi brosn it's been awhile since I last login.
After much cosideration, I have decided to seek "professional" help.
Had a 2 hour appointment with a local girl a few days ago.
She gave good service and it was the best sexual experience of my life.
But sadly I still cannot cum after 2 hours.:(
I left the hotel filled with shame and guilt.:(

I wish to seek medical/phycological solution to my problem. Please advise me on the doctors/clinics/pills which can help me.

[Absynthe]

Hi brosn it's been awhile since I last login.
After much cosideration, I have decided to seek "professional" help.
Had a 2 hour appointment with a local girl a few days ago.
She gave good service and it was the best sexual experience of my life.
But sadly I still cannot cum after 2 hours.:(
I left the hotel filled with shame and guilt.:(

I wish to seek medical/phycological solution to my problem. Please advise me on the doctors/clinics/pills which can help me.

Realy feel sorry for u bro. u need to c a doctor