[Lennyberg]

just want to share my story here and hear if I am crazy.

From my vintage and posts ya all can see I am quite a seasoned cheongster. I count perhaps almost 20 years now. I am not that old but I started young..
Over the years, I had did accumulate a "large" bodycount and since I got married in 2013, I migrated over to paid services as I wanted a no strings attached kind of ECA.

I travel alot for work over the years and literally cheong in every country I travel to. Seldom in Singapore until last 15 months as my work started to get a little stagnant and also things brewing at home.

Long story short, I met a VN lady around 6 months ago and she started chasing me. As a sesoned vet, I obviously didnt recriporate but I must admit the sessions were getting more and more like lovers making love and not paid sessions. She stopped taking money money from me, refunding me the difference less the hourly charges. She doesnt need PR or LTVP or anything of that sort. She is divorced and has a kid, she is fiercely independent. I gave in and got KC'ed the last time we went to a dayuse hotel. (she paid for our $150 lunch btw..)
She claims that she fell for me the first time she saw me and gave in to sex and raw. She was very new into the line (2weeks old when I patronise her) She, own her own accord went to get a long term contraceptive subsequently after asking for my opinion.
So.. Our relationship thus far has been non-monetary. I order lunches and teabreaks on some days, pay for our dayuse rooms.

Since confirming our relationship, I had been losing sleep as the moment I close my eyes, my thoughts go wild. Even though I am just an employee and am not super rich but I do have a big ego which doesnt allow me to allow my "gf" to work in such line. She promise that its all b2b and hj with strictly no sex but the cheongster in me highly doubt that.

Earlier, I went on a trip with just my wife over a long weekend. Thats when her jealousy was full blown and she wanted to end things as she shares that she cannot take it. Her passion and character really made me fall quite hard for her as as usual, she is what I dont have at home. I literally sleep 10 hrs in 3 days and it was affecting my life and work quite badly.

Had a serious heart to heart chat with her and kinda told her that she is free to chose another guy if she meets the right one and I will settle issues with my wife overtime responsibly as I have 3 kids in tow. With or w/o her in the picture, me and the wife's fate is already quite settled anyways. Just that I need time to make sure that I am treated fairly too and not lose my life's work in the process.

I am kinda still with her as she accepts that she has me maybe 2x max 3x a week without sat and sundays. We will do more holidays instead.

I am quite upset with myself as I actually wanted to revert back to being just a lover and I didnt pull the trigger but I kinda set my mind straight that she is my personal cue for now and nothing is forever. I will probably only properly be with her when she leaves the job for good by the time I settle up things at home.