Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[callmebad]

I agree with lightweaver's view point
schedule sex
also have to recognize that sex is not always perfect

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

It appears my point was slightly taken off context, let me try it again. On the issue of multitasking, let's stick to the confines of this thread. Men who are philandering, or as you have euphemistically termed 'multitasking', outside are beyond this discussion. Though I would like to suggest that there are more than a handful of fellow bros who allude that eating outside is a consequence of starvation at home. Who's right, who's wrong, not for outsiders to judge.

U guys always find ways and reason for eating out.. anyway ya.. not the right thread to discuss..

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

When I spoke about courtesy/etiquette, I don't refer to your own kids. I would expect nothing less from mine when it comes to giving me a damn hand when I need it. I didn't raise a child to turn his back on me. The next time the opportunity crops up, like a child stepping on your foot or bumping into you as s/he plays on his/her little gadget, see if you get an apology out of them. Its rather ubiquitous these days, you'll get to test this out sooner rather than later. Many kids are scoring better in class but absolutely flunk the acid test of graceful behaviour in a social setting. Courtesy is somewhat a dying decorum in this country.

i was just giving mine as an example..
Yea. have encountered it many times. kids nowadays really have no childhood.. really sad to see young ones being pushed to attend classes.. once again.. off topic

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

I am not trying to say that fathers are exonerated from this responsiblity, parenting is a joint effort. But considering the amount of air time some mothers are hogging with their kids (as testified by some guys in here), it would be easier for the guy to stomach the neglect he suffers if the kid was properly taught. He can say...at least the kid(s) is/are raised properly...the bloke is simply unfortunate collateral damage. But if the woman is doing a half-baked job of childraising while overlooking her other half, I go back to my earlier assertion...what is she really good for?

To me it seems many men push the duties of child raising to the mother. so i do salute the men who r very involve in their kid(s) life. u have my utmost respect. n if ur wife doesnt know how to appreciate. she deserves a knock on the head.
N if ur wife have done a good job raising ur kids n managing the household chores. N u're having fun outside, then u deserve a punch in the balls.
sex is something both have to enjoy to make the best out of it.. have a talk about it. wait till kids are slightly older? More time to yourself? Instead of finding immediate solution.

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

I share your irk in running into a guy that failed to recognise your gracious effort in holding the door for him. The next time a lady does that for me, I'll be sure to PM you to thank you in blank and white, if its you!

It's fine if i'm the one holding. but it a poor small kid helping the mummy. Tt's what pisses me off. u have the aunties rushing thru n worse the men.. tsk tsk.. we can be standing there w 10ppl passing thru n not a single word of thanks. dont help or say thank u nvm lah. but at least a smile?

Sorry ts.. always off topic..

[ferragamo]

Originally Posted by zacarie

Sorry ts.. always off topic..

that's alright, pls contribute on the topic now

1) are you also like this as a wife (low sex, no sex, finish up quick sex)?

2) if yes, why? Pls give honest reason, no need to bullshit us here

3) if no, what makes it different for you

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by ferragamo

that's alright, pls contribute on the topic now

1) are you also like this as a wife (low sex, no sex, finish up quick sex)?

2) if yes, why? Pls give honest reason, no need to bullshit us here

3) if no, what makes it different for you

I enjoy sex. have initiated more than he did. but he always complain tired. Picked up from net on bj. n did for him. Different positions. n also tried on him. i like to explore. but it seems he doesnt? He's the one who kinda wants it to end quickly..
maybe he finds me unattractive tt's y no sex from his side? i cant give an ans for tt.
Sometimes i guess age matters also? And how they were brought up. conservative or not.

[Guardsmanwarrio]

Originally Posted by ferragamo

Before marriage my wife was very active during sex, willing to try everything.

Now after marriage, especially after kids - the times we have sex, it is just going through the motion - strip, touch abit, insert, pump, cum

I am sure some guys say no Fish, Prawn also good

But I beginning to feel very sian during and after this type of sex.

(already tried all the usual suggestion like role play, new places, blah blah blah)

want to find out if other married guys face this issue also

In the end do you just also go through the motion?

some days I just feel don't have this type of sex better, feel more dulan after that.

or is your thinking got sex better than no sex...

I think it is only normal to feel like this. For me I am married also, u should accept this as a matter of fact rather than repulsing it...
Even if it is like going through action, and u feel annoyed about it, still you should give it to ur wife cos she has her needs too.

[exskk]

Originally Posted by gilagila100

Not so simple sometimes ... this is a very tricky question to answer ...

But I heard this from a lao jiao,

Make love to ur wife ...
Have sex with FL ...

Go chiong, bring $$$ & 2IC but dun bring heart ... No matter wat must go home to sleep

Not everyone is lucky to be able to have sex and make love with the same woman ...

Bro what a gd one...

[nuclearkid]

Originally Posted by zacarie

I enjoy sex. have initiated more than he did. but he always complain tired. Picked up from net on bj. n did for him. Different positions. n also tried on him. i like to explore. but it seems he doesnt? He's the one who kinda wants it to end quickly..
maybe he finds me unattractive tt's y no sex from his side? i cant give an ans for tt.
Sometimes i guess age matters also? And how they were brought up. conservative or not.

Thanks for the exchange, zacarie. Whether your hubby finds you sexually attractive, I can be sure he loves you and appreciates you for the effort you sacrifice for your family.

What I would like to add...as an extension to this discussion... For most couples, sex is red hot in the beginning and slowly tapers off as time goes by. Our senses for anything usually get blunted over time with a routine...how much kick can one derive from repeating the same stimulation? Many men will justify that their messing about outside is because of a celibate wife or a hundred other reasons. I dare say that even if the wives of this particular thread spread their legs for their hubbies on demand, most of these guys will get bored of it after awhile. While we may lament that the wives here are going through the motion with the love making, perhaps we can see it as the ladies who got bored first before the men did, especially when her new apple of the eye came along?

[DannyBoy4]

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

What I would like to add...as an extension to this discussion... For most couples, sex is red hot in the beginning and slowly tapers off as time goes by.

I remember when I was single long ago, my FB who was married at that time told a joke. She said, suppose every time you have sex, you put a billiard ball on a sack. But when you reach 35, you do the opposite, that is every time you have sex, you take a ball out from the sack. By the time you die, the sack is still not empty
i don't know how true this is statistically, but it was just funny when I heard it.

[darylcch]

you will not be the first...
mine even ask me "done or not? i want to watch tv..."

[nuclearkid]

Originally Posted by DannyBoy4

I remember when I was single long ago, my FB who was married at that time told a joke. She said, suppose every time you have sex, you put a billiard ball on a sack. But when you reach 35, you do the opposite, that is every time you have sex, you take a ball out from the sack. By the time you die, the sack is still not empty
i don't know how true this is statistically, but it was just funny when I heard it.

From forum anecdotes, it would depend on who's taking the balls from the sacks. Some of our bros here above 35 are damn strong but of course, not to just one woman.

[HayHot]

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

From forum anecdotes, it would depend on who's taking the balls from the sacks. Some of our bros here above 35 are damn strong but of course, not to just one woman.

Which sack ?

[walan]

Originally Posted by analog

Hey Bro:

At least you're getting some!!!
Many are getting nothing.

Women are really evil in this sense....
Their entire job, obligation, is to have sex with their husband. That is what a marriage license is, a document consenting to have sex with this man.

Sigh....life.

Note to all young guys, I know, i know...your GF today is a slut, she complains you can't fuck enough or often enough, she sucks your cock, takes it up the ass everything, you're in bliss. You buy a ring, you get engaged....life is great. After you get engaged sex gets even better, you are in heaven all is great, You get married, and your screwing her in every room in your new flat every day of the week, TWICE a day, its all good. She gets pregnant, you're both happy, after all, you're married. Its all good, sex continues through the pregnancy, then the baby is born, happy, happy, happy.......and it never comes back. You wait, you're a patient, modern sensitive guy, she has to heal you say to your self, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months a year.....when is she going to heal? Why she not interested any more etc....

Then she decides she wants another baby, she rapes you for a few months until she gets pregnant again, then she shuts off. Not like first time when you fucked all through the pregnancy. This time she doesn't let you touch her....and the cycle repeats.

And this is how life is with a Singaporean wife my friends. And young boys who are still in the GF/BF stage, save your advice. You have no idea how that little slut you have for a GF right now will change once you marry her and she has a kid. You simply have NO IDEA!

I went to a marriage course when I was a teenager, church related thing, married priest (yes, there are such things) and he said this:
"Couples marry with the man thinking his wife will never change and the woman thinking she will change her future husband. They're both wrong."

How true that has turned out to be.

I'm hoping once the kids get a bit older she comes back. By she I mean the woman I married because the woman I am with now is not who I married. But there is nothing any of us can do about it. Its enough to drive a man to drink....and many do.

Cheers,
jim

my sentiments exactly bro my heart goes out to u

[unicor]

Originally Posted by zacarie

I enjoy sex. have initiated more than he did. but he always complain tired. Picked up from net on bj. n did for him. Different positions. n also tried on him. i like to explore. but it seems he doesnt? He's the one who kinda wants it to end quickly..
maybe he finds me unattractive tt's y no sex from his side? i cant give an ans for tt.
Sometimes i guess age matters also? And how they were brought up. conservative or not.

Wish my wife has your mentality

[lam1673]

Brother Analog really strike my chord, my situation was exactly what happened in his description.

When she wanted a 3rd kid, she literally expose her pussy every night and wanted me to squeeze every drops of sperm into her. It was great sex actually and I did not mind.

However after we had our 3rd kids, the chores of taking care of 3 kids made her mood swing all the times, we hardly had sex during the toddler times of our kids.

The thing is I do see some light in the tunnel, our kids now are more independent and we began to spice up our sex life by having regular timeout with hot dates and follow by passionate sex in a posh hotel away from the burden of the kids. I can sense situation is improving.

Perhaps brother out there can try to sort thing out with your wife to take time off for both of you.

[acidicavex]

Originally Posted by lam1673

Brother Analog really strike my chord, my situation was exactly what happened in his description.

When she wanted a 3rd kid, she literally expose her pussy every night and wanted me to squeeze every drops of sperm into her. It was great sex actually and I did not mind.

However after we had our 3rd kids, the chores of taking care of 3 kids made her mood swing all the times, we hardly had sex during the toddler times of our kids.

The thing is I do see some light in the tunnel, our kids now are more independent and we began to spice up our sex life by having regular timeout with hot dates and follow by passionate sex in a posh hotel away from the burden of the kids. I can sense situation is improving.

Perhaps brother out there can try to sort thing out with your wife to take time off for both of you.

Reading thru alot of confusing thoughts went into my mind. Actually like some bring out it all depend. My partner like i would say can live without sex. Unless i start to probing and running she will not initate it. I do ever have chat with her and needs for our own time. But too bad there is no one to help on my kids my in-law will freak out taking care of them for a night especially my MiL. Imagine when we have a wedding dinner to attend and discuss with her to help look after. She will say okie but when the night hit 10pm she will start calling are you guys coming to fetch them...... As for my side my own parents place is too small my kids are not familiar staying over there. So sometimes it end up with my fetching my mum up my place to look after.

Anyway my wife is a low libido person even we have time alone she will rather spent the time reading what is the latest makeup kits or DIY makeup consolidation box or how to make you eye look bigger etc etc. Nowadays i myself start losing interest in it also...........