Is it my problem or his?

[late bloomer]

According to research, a woman's sex drive tends to increase after the age of 30. A man's sex drive tends to decrease slightly after 30.

That being said, statistics tend to be only hasty generalisations.

Most of us horny men here will continue screwing around till we reach 100 or until we die, depending on which comes first.

Women after 30 may also have a strong aversion towards sex after some negative sexperiences (rape, etc).

A few questions for you to ponder Sis Lovetorn. No obligation to answer if you don't feel comfortable.

1) Are you over 30 yet?

2) Before yr current BF, did u have any negative sexperiences with anyone?

3) How did u both get attached in the first place? Did it start with a bang - due to intense physical attraction - love (lust) at first sight? Or is the attraction slightly milder but gradual, based on a kind of friendship / familiarity where you feel comfortable with each other's presence?

The 3rd question is difficult to answer as he may be deeply attracted to you sexually and you may love him for other reasons.

Some say that men use love to get sex, women do the vice versa.

Men & women can be wired differently. At the end of the day, if you are seriously considering him as a life partner, then both of you need to honestly sit down, confront these issues and decide if the exchange (difference in objectives & perspectives) is acceptable and worth the compromise.

My 1 cent worth.

[waiwaiz]

sound like u r in a friendship more than relationship leh?? how come like tat o????

dim kai gom yong?

[lovetorn]

i am kind of tired right now to read through all the replies but maybe some of you got it right. i like being around him and to me, i want to see him and just be beside him instead of doing anything sexual with him. i feel that sex is important to keep a relationship going however sex isn't a must always. but he feels differently. we did once conclude that our foreplay is too long as sometimes we get kind of tired after that.

no, i am not over 30. i am 21. as for negative experiences, i did have 1 or 2 with my ex but it isn't anything that is bothering me much. our attraction for each other is a long story but it grew from a normal friendship.

i guess i shouldn't worry too much about it. thanks for the views.

[Nottiguy]

Hi lovetorn,
Sex is definitely part of the relationship. You might want to get gel if you are dry. Too long foreplay , tiredness or not horny enough can be some of the reasons.

Dont worry too much. Just enjoy the process of being love and doing couple stuff.

[Dayzer]

Originally Posted by late bloomer

According to research, a woman's sex drive tends to increase after the age of 30. A man's sex drive tends to decrease slightly after 30.

Just to be more specific. A male hits his sexual peak at around the age of 18 and a female at around late 20s early 30s. Peak in this case refers to desire, urge and in the males case, recovery period.

[late bloomer]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

no, i am not over 30. i am 21. as for negative experiences, i did have 1 or 2 with my ex but it isn't anything that is bothering me much. our attraction for each other is a long story but it grew from a normal friendship.

i guess i shouldn't worry too much about it. thanks for the views.

You're welcome sis.

According research, you will find yourself needing it more in 9 years' time. And that is a long time.

At the same time, I also believe that you might be trying to explore the notion that sexual attraction might not be the only basis for a relationship.

It definitely is not the only basis, but I think it is still a part. Every couple will have to decide how big (how many percentage) that part is.

Good luck.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

i like being around him and to me, i want to see him and just be beside him instead of doing anything sexual with him. i feel that sex is important to keep a relationship going however sex isn't a must always. but he feels differently. we did once conclude that our foreplay is too long as sometimes we get kind of tired after that.

no, i am not over 30. i am 21. as for negative experiences, i did have 1 or 2 with my ex but it isn't anything that is bothering me much. our attraction for each other is a long story but it grew from a normal friendship.

i guess i shouldn't worry too much about it. thanks for the views.

You SHOULD worry mate, a lot to worry about esp if you're thinking of marriage.

To me it's sounds just like those classic friends-turn-marriedcouple-due-to-obligation thingy. Such relationships did not start with sparks nor physical attraction - I bet you don't feel little deers jumping randomly in your heart when you're with him.

Sexually incompatible is the main issue; beware... since you say he feels differently... it only means we can find him starting those common threads like "Wife/GF don't like sex" and "should I eat out or not?" in SBF... to seek skewed approval from cheongsters here

And you'll start those threads like "Why do men go for pros?"...

You came back to SBF on encountering such issues, so I'm sure he will... too.
SBF is a great place for seeking psychological assistance.

[kurios]

Maybe your current boy is just "playing" with you, thus he couldnt sex you up. You know is just like you dislike a subject and you couldn't concentrate on it during lesson time but still need to play along with the class & teacher.

[PeaceWithin]

Agree with some of the guys here... the biggest motivator (but also obstacle) is the MIND! You guys might be too tensed up/worried about not being able to perform and thus might have negative impact.

Also, stress can be part of it.

But... I'm surprised no one said anything about using lubricants. Even during normal sex, lube can be a good thing. Cos it's possible that the lady become dry for whatever reason... so just use lube to facilitate entry. Nothing wrong that. One of my ex did feel 'sorry' when she can't get herself wet for entry, so just use lube... I mean.... I do appreciate it cos she just wants to make me happy.

[mr_missile]

Originally Posted by V|ernar

get him to paint you !

or gel might help ~

hi bro, good to see that u are still around. your health ok?

take this opportunity to wish u good health this cny. cheers!

[TheGreatOne]

im surprised nobody has yet to post the pic of WD40

[Tai Guan]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

i am kind of tired right now to read through all the replies but maybe some of you got it right. i like being around him and to me, i want to see him and just be beside him instead of doing anything sexual with him. i feel that sex is important to keep a relationship going however sex isn't a must always. but he feels differently. we did once conclude that our foreplay is too long as sometimes we get kind of tired after that.

no, i am not over 30. i am 21. as for negative experiences, i did have 1 or 2 with my ex but it isn't anything that is bothering me much. our attraction for each other is a long story but it grew from a normal friendship.

i guess i shouldn't worry too much about it. thanks for the views.

Hi lovetorn,

Glad that you are getting over it. Communication is the root of relationship, be it when having sex or a date.

Btw 3 to 4 hours of foreplay is really power lo. if I after 3 hours of foreplay, I think my will shoot sky high

[saintdevil]

sis, no worries la.. your bf probably got sick of the routine. try something new and cut the foreplay.

@ 21, you have a great body.. not being sexual attractive is the least of your problems.

happy valentine day.

[Ice2005]

Hi Sis, dont worry, it is normal as it depends on individual. Because at times some girls are wetter after their period and will become dry when it close to their period. This is what i did experience before with my wife and also FL.

Hope it helps.