heartbroken wife

[synyster]

in one short sentence all i can say is, "Don't try too hard or compromise to someone that don't even bother about you."

[MrPleaser]

Originally Posted by youre

It only broke into a zillion pieces when I found out he's been lying to me as well. I don't think he cheated in the sense he made love to someone else, but the betrayal felt like it. A knife stabbed in your back is still a knife stabbed in your back.

Do men just grow up with time? Or does maturity whether natural or forced not apply to the male species.

TS, I think you should have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband about your expectations of your marriage, and find out about his expectations as well. Try not to be aggressive and avoid saying stuff like "Why you don't care about my feelings?" I believe that both parties need to change for the marriage to work. Instead of waiting for your husband to change, maybe you can change yourself or how you communicate with your husband?

You might want to start working. At least it will provide you with a safety net in case something happens. Marriage without love is hard (but not impossible) to sustain. My childhood was complicated and I used to blame myself for my parents' separation. Hopefully your child would have happy and healthy childhood memories.

Care to elaborate on what your husband has been lying about?


Article for you, to provide a different perspective. I read it a while back and it seems like the original has been taken down. Might/might not be relevant to you.
http://www.collective-evolution.com/...owerful-story/

[Shimizu]

take good care

life is sweet when you are sweet!

[hugs]

LOL haha

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Men don't grow up. They just grow old and after a while they can't rise to the occasion anymore so they are either forced to settle down or seek chemical assistance.

anyway ts, i know a guy for about 8yrs. Similar story. He got a girl preg while he was in ns. The girl said aborted but kept the pregnancy n gave birth to their daughter. Fast forward 5 yrs later, the guy completed a degree, got a bank job n married another degree holder. 6 months before wedding, ex came to find his parents asking for maintenance. Was bad for everyone n wedding almost called off. It ends up with no need to pay maintenance ( i didn't ask why but legal de) n no need to visit daughter.

[Botakhead]

There is always two side of a coin, same for relationships. It is how to make it work out to be the best for both party's sake that is of utmost importance.

Both must understand the pros and cons before getting involved and conjugate in this relationship. Even if love is blind, but the mind is still clear about what is going on, when something is amiss, please rectify the situation before it spiral out of proportion.

End of the day, dun sacrifice one side for the other if the other is not willing to sacrifice for you. Take care of your ownself before the other side take clear advantage of you through the course of your naiveness.

Cheers and bring happiness upon yourself not relying on useless partner.

[anthony62]

Hi Heartbroken Wife here is my 2cents worth of advise on your predicament. As i pen my thought just to let i am not legally trained in any from of council nor representation.
Firstly : Leave the jerk, You have sacrificed too much for your kid and yourself. If he has ever considered aborting the kid and your marriage this is a sign of 2 things. A)He only love himself and possibly he may be 2 timing you. B)He do not want any responsibility both as a parent and financially.
3)This also shows his mental state as he do not want to address the issues.

Secondly: You should consider to seek alternative relationship. You may be surprised by this. As you have written in this forum may suggests that you are open for intimacy and fill the need for sexual appetite,Let me be the devil's advocate and suggest you consider this option only for a means to looking for a suitable companion or even soulmate. This may even bring a reversal of fortune and he will teach him a lesson or two.

Thirdly:For the sake of your cute kid. Let it go. You are self sufficient not relying on your husband is the best decision you will ever make. i am sure you have the love of your life your cute kid will be your pillar of strength.

Of course you have our forum members who will dish out various nuggets of wisdom and suggestions in any predicament. Hope this will help you in your decision.

[youre]

Hwei6969: sorry to hear about your husband. Hope you're happier now too. *hugs*

Sysnster: try but know when to stop.

MrPleaser: nice article. Thanks for sharing.

shimizu: Thanks. Pure water is sweet.

Hugs: what a story. However, it's not uncommon for a woman with a child to accept no money and no visiting from the child's father.

Botakhead: thank you for the clear-headedness.

Anthony62: your points may be terribly valid.

Anyway, Thanks all. This thread may serve well to other women in my predicament.

[Yakuza]

Originally Posted by youre

I'm married and have a very cute kid whom I adore very much. I believe I'm a good woman but my husband doesn't realize that nor treasure me. I'm very hurt by all his actions and lack thereof .

I could be happy eating plain rice. But after giving birth, my husband didn't provide the emotional and physical support that was needed from my partner as a new father and husband. That alone saddened me deeply but my heart was not broken. It only broke into a zillion pieces when I found out he's been lying to me as well. I don't think he cheated in the sense he made love to someone else, but the betrayal felt like it. A knife stabbed in your back is still a knife stabbed in your back.

The more you love someone, the more hurt you feel when the trust is broken. I couldn't believe this actually happened to me. He, whom I love so very much could actually bear to hurt me like this.

Any advice? I have tried to tell him and communicate with him, but everytime only gets worse. Should I just continue to be good woman and not voice out to him anymore. It seems the only way for this relationship to continue.

Guys .. her hubby cheated and make love to someone. Ts is asking if just keep quiet and con't or keep voicing out and con't ... and she believed its the only way .. ts nvr ask or mention to leave him or not.

Ts has answer herself .. so the next step is .. get whatever means to make him pay till the child is big and stable enough and leave him .. in the mean time .. bear wif the family till the time is ripe .. don't ever let him touch u .. least he may brought back from outside and past on his "gift" to u

Or .. just leave him now .. and let fate be ur guiding light.. take care..

[WarPig]

Originally Posted by hugs

LOL haha



anyway ts, i know a guy for about 8yrs. Similar story. He got a girl preg while he was in ns. The girl said aborted but kept the pregnancy n gave birth to their daughter. Fast forward 5 yrs later, the guy completed a degree, got a bank job n married another degree holder. 6 months before wedding, ex came to find his parents asking for maintenance. Was bad for everyone n wedding almost called off. It ends up with no need to pay maintenance ( i didn't ask why but legal de) n no need to visit daughter.

It's a small small world really, as I think I know the guy in this case too.
This guy escaped because the DNA test results showed he was not the father.

[DirtySerry]

You forced him into marriage because of the kid.

He didn't marry you because he really loved you enough to want you by his side forever. He was "arm-wrestled" to do it.

Originally Posted by youre

Hi all.. I'm sharing my story here as I really have no one to tell to. It's the best place where no one judges me and my relationship.

I'm married and have a very cute kid whom I adore very much. I love or loved my husband very much and really do want us to work out beautifully. I believe I'm a good woman but my husband doesn't realize that nor treasure me. I'm very hurt by all his actions and lack thereof .

I was still studying when I got pregnant. He wanted me to abort but I said I wanted the baby even if you didn't want me. We eventually rom-ed and I completed my studies. Thereafter I stayed home to care for the baby. We weren't staying together and through the pregnancy period I was already lacking emotional affection. I didn't mind not having any fancy dinner or wedding gown or whatever but all I thought I would have would be a great hubby who treats me and baby lovingly. That was all I needed. I could be happy eating plain rice. But after giving birth, my husband didn't provide the emotional and physical support that was needed from my partner as a new father and husband. That alone saddened me deeply but my heart was not broken. It only broke into a zillion pieces when I found out he's been lying to me as well. I don't think he cheated in the sense he made love to someone else, but the betrayal felt like it. A knife stabbed in your back is still a knife stabbed in your back.

The more you love someone, the more hurt you feel when the trust is broken. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe this actually happened to me. He, whom I love so very much could actually bear to hurt me like this.

Any advice? I have tried to tell him and communicate with him, but everytime only gets worse. Should I just continue to be good woman and not voice out to him anymore. It seems the only way for this relationship to continue. Do men just grow up with time? Or does maturity whether natural or forced not apply to the male species.