Married but GF pregnant...

[flowerpot]

I am not happily married with my wife... our marriage has been on the rock for almost 2 years.... partly cos of my gf....

but we have not divorce, for the sake of our child....

now, my gf got pregnant. my gf knows abt my wife, and she is in dillemma...
sometimes, she say she wants to give birth to the little life, sometimes she say it is impossible for her to give birth to the little life,
making me equally confuse...

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

I am not happily married with my wife... our marriage has been on the rock for almost 2 years.... partly cos of my gf....

but we have not divorce, for the sake of our child....

now, my gf got pregnant. my gf knows abt my wife, and she is in dillemma...
sometimes, she say she wants to give birth to the little life, sometimes she say it is impossible for her to give birth to the little life,
making me equally confuse...

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

The issue now isn't about to keep the baby or not, though I am not encoraging you to kill innocent life.

The issue is with you. Did you know how many persons you have hurt?
I apologise for being offensive but you are very selfish. You knew you will not end your current marriage but yet you attempted to impregnant another gal.
How happy can your gf be in future knowing she has given you her most precious gift (a child for you) in her full capacity as a woman when all that you can offer are a kept mistress and an illegitimate child in your capacity?

Sooner or later down the road you will end up with an unhappy relationship with your gf as you had with your current wife.

[flowerpot]

i know i am wrong....

but who knows how long i have not felt happy...
the kind of happiness that comes straight from the heart....

but things already happened.... who knows what i am going thru....

all i want to do, is to minimize the hurt i am causing to everyone...

[Oceanlee]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

I am not happily married with my wife... our marriage has been on the rock for almost 2 years.... partly cos of my gf....

but we have not divorce, for the sake of our child....

now, my gf got pregnant. my gf knows abt my wife, and she is in dillemma...
sometimes, she say she wants to give birth to the little life, sometimes she say it is impossible for her to give birth to the little life,
making me equally confuse...

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

Consider this :
can you provide for 02 family in terms of monetary?
If yes, then your time will be split and you have to manage, tough work.

If No, let go the 2nd or the 1st, Your decision is not just based on your dick brothers, apply it on the damage control and your longterm happiness.

Review yourself, if you forsake the first and go with the current, will this happen so the next time when you met another down the road, which you rules by your emotional and small head .. thinking that the right one again.
(Rules of thumb, history tends to repeats)

The choice is U, no one can help, we can only advice accordingly.
U must prepared, to spend $$$$, time, emotional, pressure from all side.
Think through, this is no small issue.

Take care.

[flowerpot]

monetary wise... i put it as still can afford....

im not filthy wealthy... but to provide for 2 families in sg cost abt 5k???

can still afford that.....

its not cos of sex that things happen......

[Oceanlee]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

monetary wise... i put it as still can afford....

im not filthy wealthy... but to provide for 2 families in sg cost abt 5k???

can still afford that.....

its not cos of sex that things happen......

Youngman, obviously you dun read my sentence with your mind leh, whats is stuff into u brain i wonder.

From your telltale, I can see that you in lost,
1) Please apply damage control now (need to cut off, do so, dun drags)
2) So you can provide $$$$, what about time for the mother and child? what about emotional for the mother and child,

3) if 02 family ..... you think U can cope well managing their expectation from you, demand from your affection ?
4) Are you able to hold off well in you jobs/assignment?
5) Mentall how prepare are U ?
6) Physically, how long can u take it ?

Not to bombare you youngman, please analysis the whole thing.

Take care and important, is not how u feel but how u handle the whole thing and walk tall like a MAN.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

For the sake of your born child, do not file a divorce.....totally unfair to him/her and will also change the kid's destiny.....
For the pregnant GF, even for me, do not abort the unborn child.
If you can afford 2 families, hey go ahead but trust me, 5k for 2 families is pathetic and definately not enuff.
My stance, which is totally my personal view is, take GF in as mistress and have the kid......
Do it any other way, prepare for your karma my friend.

Now, your priority is how to tok to you GF and give her the sense of security that you will not make her abort the kid & you'll be a responsible man, both to the kid that's borne by you wife and her unborn child.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

but who knows how long i have not felt happy...
the kind of happiness that comes straight from the heart....
but things already happened.... who knows what i am going thru....

all i want to do, is to minimize the hurt i am causing to everyone...

But are you happy in your heart now?
I may guess my earlier post is "talking cock" to you. But you must realise the fact that I cannot hint or point you to any directions because regardless the choice it will ruin someone's life gravely. I don't want to contribute to it, directly or indirectly.

I can only focus my advice on you alone, and I regard it as impotant because the source of the problem is you.

You started off and ended with only caring for your own personal interest. You had some serious issue with your wife but you did not resolve or disolve the problem or the marriage because you knew for as long as possible the wife and you will not divorce for the sake of the kids. Thus, you let things stale.

At this point if you go have fun and release your urge without strings attached, I say it is ok. But you got involved with a gal and impregnant her.
Sorry to say this but I can visualised that moment that you pushed hard into her womb and decided to shoot your load in, you had disregard her interests, your wife's interests and your kid's interest.

And now, you are repeating the cycle of not confronting the problem and seeking "duct-tape" solution. Sad to say but the only solution is to confront the problem by coming clean with all parties involved. Your wife is a mother herself, so I believe she will not be cruel to request abortion from your gf.

I apologise again for giving my honest opinion, resulting in offensiveness, if any.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Remember, feeding 2 families wif 5k to me is tight liao.......
Unless you can make them all move into the same house, then you're gonna feed 2 households liao.......
So, you gotta think very carefully....
Cheers n good luck

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

A bastard!

[asdfghjkl]

not happy with wife drag too long might not be good.

[airforcegurl]

sad to hear of this unfortunate situation. i have no advice for you. all the best to you and both the families

[tokkon1]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

I am not happily married with my wife... our marriage has been on the rock for almost 2 years.... partly cos of my gf....

but we have not divorce, for the sake of our child....

now, my gf got pregnant. my gf knows abt my wife, and she is in dillemma...
sometimes, she say she wants to give birth to the little life, sometimes she say it is impossible for her to give birth to the little life,
making me equally confuse...

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

Do you really really LOVE your girlfriend. Made your decision based on that fact.

If you and your gf are really in love and not just sex, I suggest divorce your wife, set up a system to support your child and set both you and your wife free. My guess is you are both relatively young. There is still long journey ahead. Why not set both of you free cos persisting in a loveless marriage is hell.

After the divorce, both of you can go on and lead happier lives.

I'm no counsellor, just an opinion. You hv to decide ultimately what's best for all parties involved.

[colins]

Originally Posted by flowerpot

I am not happily married with my wife... our marriage has been on the rock for almost 2 years.... partly cos of my gf....

but we have not divorce, for the sake of our child....

now, my gf got pregnant. my gf knows abt my wife, and she is in dillemma...
sometimes, she say she wants to give birth to the little life, sometimes she say it is impossible for her to give birth to the little life,
making me equally confuse...

i don't mind giving the little life a chance. any views???

Bro flowerpot,

When you do not have courage to make decisions which will affect the rest of your life, the consequence of such indecisions will continue to plague you everyday, becoming worse every hour. You only have chance to remedy, patch up holes, that's all. For the rest of your life, patching up holes.

Marriage on the rocks = big problem by itself
+ got kid
+ it is becos of your extra marital affairs
+ you dare not rock the boat
+ you have rock the boat becos new kid cannot wait

= consequence you need to face for your entire life.

You mentioned you feel happiness that comes from your heart, yes nobody knows. You also mentioned nobody knows what you've been going through. Then why ask for advice? For every word anyone says to you, your mind would be answering, aiyah what do you know, you know what I want or not, you know what how much pain I am going thru or not....truth is, nobody knows, only you, and see what the fucking mess you made out of it.

Let me turn the table around and ask you if you know,
Your responsibility as a Man
Your responsibility as a father
Your responsibility as a BOYFRIEND

You should be happy that life is still offering you a multiple-choice. It is definitely not a question of money. Your issue is in taking up responsibilities.

[kiko]

Bro, dont abort the child , be responsible to both parties since u are in this situation now!